Register Members List Member Map Media Calendar Garage Forum Home Mark Forums Read

Go Back > Off Topic (everything else) > Off Topic
Forgot info?

Welcome to! You are currently viewing our forums as a guest which gives you limited access to the community. By joining our free community you will have access to great discounts from our sponsors, the ability to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content, free email, classifieds, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, join our community!

Register Today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

FREE MH Decals by MAIL!


Share This Thread: 
Subscribe to this Thread Thread Tools
Old 01-18-2006, 03:54 PM   #1
Posts: n/a

Member Garage

Men Rule's!!!

01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella
> 02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
> a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
> b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
> c. After wrecking your boss' car.
> d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
> e. When she is using her teeth.
> 03: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed
> and eaten by his buddies.
> 04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out
> of jail within 12 hours.
> 05: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
> forever, unless you actually marry her.
> 06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden.
> However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
> 07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
> man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
> 08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
> weakest.
> 09: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask
> the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
> 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her
> to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of
> flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
> 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're
> sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel
> ..and it's free.
> 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
> kick another guy in the nuts.
> 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
> 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
> 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
> 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
> until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as
> much as the other sports watchers.
> 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain
> sober enough to fight.
> 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
> but not both, that's just greedy.
> 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about
> his choice of beer.
> 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
> except if she's withholding pending your response.
> 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
> a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
> b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
> c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
> 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
> i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations,
> an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
> 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than
> you are able to have with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up
> if necessary.
> 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have
> carnal drunken monkey , the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty
> is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion
> about what a big mistake it was occurs.
> 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
> her to drive yours.
> 26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,
> orange or sky blue.
> 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?"
> with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of
> story.
> 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics.
> Ever.
:BangHead: :BangHead: :BangHead:
  Reply With Quote
Similar Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
RULE NUMBER 1!!! JRxGRUBZx Off Topic 49 04-02-2009 10:20 PM
Back When Men were Men.. Scorpio Off Topic 1 03-16-2009 04:09 PM
AND THIS IS WHY MEN RULE THE WORLD......... FastLine Off Topic 11 07-09-2008 10:48 AM
WHY MEN RULE THE WORLD FastLine Off Topic 80 03-14-2008 07:03 PM
Attn: Married Men or men in serious relationships Swift E General Discussion (Moto Related) 209 12-02-2006 12:50 AM
Old 01-18-2006, 07:50 PM   #2
Shinobi's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 621

Experience: 2 years

02 Pornstar 600

Send a message via AIM to Shinobi
true words to live by

Shinobi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2006, 08:05 PM   #3
the necessary villain
fuknrobert's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: The Hideout
Feedback Rating: (1)
Posts: 14,959

Experience: 5 years
Trackdays: 10+

'04 R6, '05 70, '04 fiddy!

good find :-D

Originally Posted by bentgixxer
im not a midget , i was actually born with a type of dwarfism, but i took medication for 12 yrs to reach just 5'6"
fuknrobert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2006, 09:47 PM   #4
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 2,038

2001 R6 Champions Edition (Sold)

that was great...hahaha!
SE_Ryder122 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2006, 09:49 PM   #5
Agent PIMP
DuBwEaR's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston-Med Center
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 2,327

2003 Kawasaki Ninja ZX7R
2009 Kawasaki Klx250sf

Member Garage

wait, Dancinman aren't you gay, so these rules dont apply to you
2009 Kawasaki Klx250sf
2003 Kawasaki Ninja ZX7R
1995 Honda Shadow VLX
2004 Nissan Frontier XE
DuBwEaR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-18-2006, 10:32 PM   #6
Bevo's royal guard.
hotcknstrips's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Tomball
Feedback Rating: (8)
Posts: 15,693

Experience: 7 years
Trackdays: 7

09 Buell 1125CR

Who cares if they apply or not, that was great.

carnal drunken monkey
, I had a few of those.
Originally Posted by Godsuki
I am going to kiss your my friend!!!!

Originally Posted by NY Weird Lady
Mucus Membrane!
hotcknstrips is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 12:03 AM   #7
hfa3g11's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Houston
Feedback Rating: (4)
Posts: 2,547

Experience: 10+ years
Trackdays: 10+

2005 Honda CBR600RR Tribal Edition *retired*

Send a message via AIM to hfa3g11
Originally Posted by DuBwEaR
wait, Dancinman aren't you gay, so these rules dont apply to you
had to surface it again huh? ahhaha tony youre such a gangster
hfa3g11 is online now   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:43 PM. is not responsible for the content posted by users.
Privacy Policy