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Old 03-23-2008, 09:27 AM   #1
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Talking The Gambler and the IRS

The Inland Revenue decides to audit TG (The Gambler), and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when TG shows up with his solicitor.

The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable.'

'I'm an awesome gambler, and I can prove it,' says The Gambler. 'How about a
a little demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, 'Okay. You're on!'

TG says, 'I'll bet you a thousand bucks that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'No way! It's a bet.'
TG removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.

TG says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand bucks that I can bite my other

The auditor can tell TG isn't blind, so he takes the bet. TG removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realises he has
bet and lost three thousand dollars, with TG's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Would you like to go double or nothing?' TG asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand bucks that I can stand on one side of your desk and into that rubbish bin on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way TG can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

TG stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he strains
for all his worth , he can't make the stream reach the bin on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss
into a big win. But The Gambler's solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the solicitor. 'This morning, when Paddy told me he'd been
summoned for an audit, he bet me $20,000 that he could come in here and all over your desk - and that you'd be jumping for joy about it..'
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Old 03-23-2008, 09:30 AM   #2
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Old 03-24-2008, 04:02 PM   #3
When in doubt, restart!
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Old 03-24-2008, 04:13 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by melissa claire View Post
Busa club. why did you not mention that? that makes things all nice and peachy
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength-
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Old 03-24-2008, 04:20 PM   #5
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Old 03-24-2008, 04:28 PM   #6
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Don't have one =(

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aHHHHHHHhahahahah good post!
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Old 03-24-2008, 05:33 PM   #7
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Old 03-24-2008, 05:37 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by eyefull View Post
oldie but a goody

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