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Old 05-09-2007, 02:52 PM   #1
Motorcycle School
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A woman decided to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spent
$15,000 and felt pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stopped at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving, she said to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but
old do you think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.

A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter
the very same question.

The girl replied, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman stated with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug
store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some
mints and asked the clerk the
burning question.

The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly stated, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting
to her the same question.

He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I
young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds
very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until her curiosity got the
best of her. She finally blurted out, "What the , go ahead."

He slipped both of his hands under her blouse and begun to feel around
very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighted each breast and he

gently pinched each nipple. He pushed her together and rubs them
against each other. After a couple of minutes of this she said, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"

He completed one last squeeze of her , removed his hands, and
said, "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible, how could you

The old man asked, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't" she replied.

"I was behind you at McDonalds."
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Old 05-09-2007, 03:02 PM   #2
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"They've created a nation of spenders, speculators, and consumers, and they've destroyed the savers, producers, and the investing class that built this country. We're moving from a market-based economy to essentially a planned economy. We're abandoning capitalism and embracing socialism. That's a recipe for disaster." - Peter Schiff
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Old 05-09-2007, 03:06 PM   #3
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Bwah ha ha ha...I like it! :laughing6
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Old 05-09-2007, 03:06 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by kibitzer View Post
If I hate you because you're a stupid then I just hate you. If I hate you because you're a specific skin color then I'm a racist. It really is that simple.

Satan ButtNuggets Mothernugget
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Old 05-09-2007, 03:16 PM   #5
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LOL nice

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Originally Posted by Sifu-TZ View Post
It makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.
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Old 05-09-2007, 03:49 PM   #6
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very nice
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Old 05-09-2007, 04:09 PM   #7
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:laughing6 awsome! :laughing6
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Old 05-09-2007, 05:24 PM   #8
Shorty :(
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Car drivers want to kill us! What did we do to them? Ride defensively!!
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Old 05-09-2007, 05:26 PM   #9
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Old 05-09-2007, 05:29 PM   #10
Bevo's royal guard.
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