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|12-24-2006, 06:04 PM||#1|
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: MSRH GSS TWS (Texas World Speedway)
Experience: 10+ years
What Men Think About The Other 6 Seconds
After watching too much Oprah the other day my wife directly accused me: “all you men do is think about !” Following this was the usual pause while she waited for me to reply. She cocked her head into my field of vision and said a bit louder, “Did you hear me?”
The Other 6 Seconds: What Men Are Thinking About (Other than ), Including Robot Women, the Proper Way to Handle our Fame in the Future, Spartacus, Our Picture in Field and Stream Magazine, Cape Colors, Getaway Cars, Whether Our Resume is Up-To-Date and the Usefulness of Pet Giraffes for Yard Work
By David Drury
Frankly, I was startled a bit. I sensed that she had just said something important and I had missed it and my ignorance would betray me as an unloving husband who doesn’t listen to his wife. But I didn’t have time to guess what it was considering the context. So I just told her the truth—though perhaps not all of the truth. I blurted out, “Sorry, I didn’t hear you… um… could you repeat it? I was busy thinking about something.”
We men have a reputation for thinking about . I think we might be getting a bit of a bad rap. Yes, from time to time we men do think about intimate relations. A story even developed over the last decade that researchers found men think of once every seven seconds.
I know what you’re thinking…
What about the other six seconds? So am I. What are men thinking about when they are not thinking about ? Well, I’m here today to break the code of silence among men and share with the world six things that we are thinking about with our other six seconds—if the myth about the seven seconds can be believed.
Most women believe the fact that we men think about is the most embarrassing thing about us, but it’s not. Our secret is that this is the least embarrassing thing we think about. It’s just a cover for far more embarrassing things we are thinking about with the other six seconds. Here’s the list:
There you have it. This is what men are thinking about. Yes, from time to time we think of world peace, getting a promotion and caulking the bathtub—but as you can tell with how well those things are going, we don’t think about them much. We’re embarrassed by our actual thoughts, so I now confess them to the world so that we can more fully become ourselves as man-beings. Men—we should be proud of who we are men!
I need to go now because Oprah is on in 5 minutes so my wife will be distracted while I stage a fight in the basement between my monkey and the python. My money is on the primate—of course. Monkeys are cool.
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|12-24-2006, 07:18 PM||#2|
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: College Station, TX
[*]We’re going to quit our jobs soon. This is what we’re thinking about with our next left-over second when we’re not thinking about . Of course, if we had super-powers it would be easier to quit our jobs. Being able to read minds makes our jobs needless. Plus we’d have to move into our secret fortress of solitude. However, even if we are not awarded super-powers most men think secretly of quitting their jobs soon. Each week has its ups and downs at work and during the downs we’re thinking of an exit plan. Some men actually update their resignation letters once a month—then stop at printing them off and delivering them. We’re not actually going to quit our jobs, we’re just dreaming about it. We imagine what it would be like to walk into the office of the boss, give him a piece of our minds, then walk out giving well-deserved high-fives to our co-workers, becoming modern day Spartacus for the workplace.[/LIST][LIST]
before i finally left jiffy lube (after almost 2 years) i cant tell you how much i thought this one over!
good find! lol
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