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Old 10-23-2006, 10:50 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: League City
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Experience: 10+ years
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BMW K1200 R Sport
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in the kitchen:

She is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walks in.

She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."

His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove. More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?"

She explains, "The egg timer's broken."


in the Dark:

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figures she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent ,"
She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You
better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."


I'm Polish so this is OK:

A Polish immigrant when to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?' the optician asked.
"Read it" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."


Little Johnny:

Little Johnny is in the family room playing with his Jet transport airplane. He says: " Ladies and gentelmen, This is your Captain speaking... Sit down, Shut the f3*k up, and fasten your seat belt so we can get the out of here". "JOHNNY" says his mom, "We dont talk like that." "Go to your room for 1 hour and think about what you just said". After an hour mom calls to Little Johnny and tells him he can leave his room and play again. Little Johnny picks up his toy jet and says "Ladies and gentelmen this is the Captain speaking, Please sit down and fasten your seat belts and we will be departing shortly". "And if you would like to know about that 1 hour delay, check with the in the kitchen!"


That's all folks!
I believe in luck. The harder I work the more luck I seem to have.

"It is better to ride a slow bike fast, than a fast bike slow." -- Mann
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