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Old 12-13-2009, 03:56 PM   #1
bunxx
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how to survive a shark attack

maybe its because im in a good mood but i couldnt stop laughing at this


1: Don't swim in the ocean.
Ninety-nine percent of all shark attacks take place in exceptionally large bodies of water also known as oceans. The way to determine if you are currently in an ocean is to taste the water, which should be salty.

2: Listen out for the music.
In the event that you are foolish enough to swim in an ocean, listen carefully for the music, as demonstrated in the marvelous documentary film Jaws. All shark attacks are preceded by the "daah-da, daah-da" chords, which will gradually become more rapid as the shark gets closer. This is due to the Doppler Effect.

3: Swim with fat people.
Try to surround yourself with more appetizing companions. If you know them well, you might even try to switch their suntan lotion with A-1 Steak Sauce. This will definitely improve your odds.

4: Don't go into the water without a knife.
This is not to defend yourself but to stab the person (a.k.a the decoy) closest to you in the case of a shark attack. Once you are sure the "decoy" is bleeding profusely ..... swim for your life.

And finally .....

5: Don't panic.
In the event that a shark actually bites you, try to remain calm. This really won't help you survive, but everyone else on the beach will appreciate you not shrieking madly, as this is quite unsettling and can really spoil a wonderful day out.
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Old 12-13-2009, 04:00 PM   #2
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Send a message via Yahoo to evobusa7
about time you get a good one
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:45 PM   #3
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Nice....
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:47 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evobusa7 View Post
about time you get a good one
watch it! the myspace delete button isnt very far!




Quote:
Originally Posted by AaronP220 View Post
Nice....
no witty sarcastic statement?


going soft?



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Old 12-13-2009, 07:49 PM   #5
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Quote:
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no witty sarcastic statement?


going soft?



First off. I'm ALWAYS soft. Don't believe me? Ask your G/F. That laughed me out of the room.

Second off. I'm trying to be reasonably nice for a little while.
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:50 PM   #6
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Quote:
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First off. I'm ALWAYS soft. Don't believe me? Ask your G/F. That laughed me out of the room.

Second off. I'm trying to be reasonably nice for a little while.
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:52 PM   #7
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It is what it is man...

If i'm an all the time people will start to believe I am one...we can't have that. It bad for business.
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:10 PM   #8
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Ha

You know how to stop a charging Rhino?




























Take away his credit card!!!
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:34 PM   #9
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Quote:
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Ha

You know how to stop a charging Rhino?



throw you in front of it?

throw you in front of it?
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Old 12-14-2009, 09:14 AM   #10
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