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Old 07-09-2008, 07:27 AM   #1
Grinchy
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Talking The Journey of Man

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.


When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.


In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.


When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.


When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but had no direction. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.


When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.


I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big .

The End.
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Old 07-09-2008, 07:28 AM   #2
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:21 PM   #3
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It makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:27 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinchy View Post
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.


When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.


In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.


When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.


When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but had no direction. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.


When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.


I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big .

The End.
U come up with the funniest chit G., aint that the truth
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:28 PM   #5
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It makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:50 PM   #6
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funny, I always get the big but am more of a smaller /better man.
and it makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:51 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Sifu-TZ View Post
funny, I always get the big but am more of a smaller /better man.
and it makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.



my new sig
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It makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:54 PM   #8
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Old 08-22-2008, 04:12 PM   #9
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When girls don't put out..

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having tonight either....but at least that knows I'm smarter than her.
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