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Old 02-17-2009, 09:24 AM   #1
R6Spartan
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A lil joke I got in a text today

A man is dying of cancer and his son asks, " Dad why do you keep telling people that your dying of aids?" Dad replies " so when I die nobody fawks your mom"

lol well it me laugh.
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Old 02-17-2009, 09:26 AM   #2
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Old but funny
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Old 02-17-2009, 09:29 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBIRD5363 View Post
Old but funny
yep, but it still gets a good laff........
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Old 02-17-2009, 10:17 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by R6Spartan View Post
A man is dying of cancer and his son asks, " Dad why do you keep telling people that your dying of aids?" Dad replies " so when I die nobody fawks your mom"

lol well it me laugh.
excellent
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Old 02-17-2009, 11:39 AM   #5
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Old 02-17-2009, 11:57 AM   #6
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Talking

It might work.


Here are a few....


Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get ?'

The other replies, 'Oh, sure I do.'

The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'

The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'

After a few moments, the first old lady asks,

'Who drives you to the beach?'

************************************************** *********

Three old ladies were sitting side by side on patio chairs at their
Orlando retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled from years
past shopping at the local Piggly Wiggly and demonstrated with her
hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger
and cheaper also, and demo nstrated the size of two big onions she could
buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I
remember the guy you're talking about.

************************************************** ***********

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida
Adult community.

A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a
few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'

'In prison,' he says.

'Why did they put you in prison?'

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

************************************************** ******************
********

Two elderly people living in a Port Charlotte Retirement Community, he
was a widower and she a wido w, had known each other for a number of
years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the
Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal
went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the
courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes.
Yes, I will!'

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to
their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say
'yes' or did she say 'no'?'

He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not
even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and
called her.

First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then
he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage,
he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Ye s' or
did you say 'No'?'
He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will.' and
I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad
that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A man was telling his neighbor in Sun City Center , 'I just bought a new
hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the
art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Morris, an 82 year-old man in Miami , went to the doctor at the local
Medical Clinic to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw
Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
really doing great, aren't you?"

"Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma' and 'be cheerful.''
Morris replied.

To which doctor said, "I didn't say that, Morris. I said, 'You've got a
heart murmur, be careful!'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream
parlor in Leesburg, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked
kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:02 PM   #7
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Do you have a thing for old people?
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:49 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaligoneTx View Post
Do you have a thing for old people?
Who, me? Uh...I dunno. I'm old.
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Old 02-17-2009, 12:57 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaligoneTx View Post
Do you have a thing for old people?
LOL i was thinking that.
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