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Old 11-30-2012, 09:00 PM   #1
1308cc
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Divorce stories

Yep...never thought it'd be me. 12 years poof, gone like that. After 3 years of trying to get over her infidelity, she just up and abandons me and my 3 boys. I tried to get over it, but there isn't enough counseling in the world to deal with some like that. This happened for the best. If I had up and left 3 years ago when she confessed, I'd be the one paying out the to maintain her lifestyle. that. I got a lawyer, been 3 months of back and forth trying to work things out of court. Nope, it's worse than the Dems vs. GOP. She ran off, took out a big chunk of some money I had saved, maxxed out the credit cards and stopped paying anything in that was joint in our names. Just a raw deal. I'm blessed I have my three boys, and a house for them to live in, but this sucks. I have a court date for March, and my lawyer is filing some emergeny motions to get some child support going. I know I'm going to be happy when this is settled, and I'll probably look back and think it was all worth it. Anyway, I might have to sell my bike to pay some legal costs. There's got to be some guys here that have some positive pick me up divorce stories right? lol
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:08 PM   #2
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So sorry to hear this, but trust me when I say that you will get over it and life will go on. It's always for the best - it just takes a while to get there.

This is a pretty hot topic, too, so don't feel like you're on your own. I, too, stayed way longer than I should have, but I'm so glad I had the strength to divorce and move on. Good for you for being there for your boys. They will appreciate all you have done and will do for them. I'm getting there - my daughter is 16 and finally realizes, but my 14-yr-old son still thinks daddy hung the moon (he only sees him about three times a year - the last time he threatened me).

http://www.motohouston.com/forums/sh...t+your+divorce
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:09 PM   #3
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Don't know what to say, but ! Sorry to hear that. There are two sides to every story though. Keep your head up high, and keep on trucking!
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:14 PM   #4
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That sucks man. Should've kicked her to the curb when she couldn't keep her legs closed.
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:16 PM   #5
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Here is the positive: Both my and your wife is gone and you got you kids. That is great.

Here is the negative: that is the most expensive mistame we ever made. The money stuff will beat your long after tbe grief.
Lemme know if you want to have a drink sometime. The only thing you can do is live every day..keep getting up.....force yourself to do things you know that you like but do not feel like doing. Keep doing them and slowly the fog will lift.
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:33 PM   #6
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My divorce became final today...now, she's constantly calling and texting me...FML!
Go home, ...you're drunk!!!
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:41 PM   #7
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Sorry you are going through this. I had my divorce 16 years ago. It was a total pain in the . Not to worry, it will be over and things will get better. Keep your head up!!
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:52 PM   #8
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Don't know what to say, but ! Sorry to hear that. There are two sides to every story though. Keep your head up high, and keep on trucking!
Hey, I know there are two sides to a story. All I know, a husband that never drank, smoked, gambled, cheated on his wife, but worked all week and spent 100% of his free time with his wife and kids, doesn't deserve to be lied to and manipulated. 99% of our marriage was great. It was that 1% that screwed it all over. My wife felt unhappy in our marriage(obviously, her actions proved it). My biggest beef with her is she couldn't be honest with me. If she came to me before she she around and explained how she wasn't happy I would have done everything in my power to make her happy, but I didn't deserve this . I wish I had the power to kick her to the curb 3 years ago. But I'm alo in a much better place mentally now. I can see things for what they aare. All I am fighting for is what's best for my kids.
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Old 11-30-2012, 09:57 PM   #9
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Quote:
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Hey, I know there are two sides to a story. All I know, a husband that never drank, smoked, gambled, cheated on his wife, but worked all week and spent 100% of his free time with his wife and kids, doesn't deserve to be lied to and manipulated. 99% of our marriage was great. It was that 1% that screwed it all over. My wife felt unhappy in our marriage(obviously, her actions proved it). My biggest beef with her is she couldn't be honest with me. If she came to me before she she around and explained how she wasn't happy I would have done everything in my power to make her happy, but I didn't deserve this . I wish I had the power to kick her to the curb 3 years ago. But I'm alo in a much better place mentally now. I can see things for what they aare. All I am fighting for is what's best for my kids.
Sounds like you did everything right. You can't be blamed for her infidelity. I hate it when people say that it's the fault of the other spouse that forces one to cheat. That's utter bullshit. She is a person. Cheaters are people who only care about themselves. If she cared about you or her children she wouldn't have done so.

I have been cheated on and tried to stay/work it out. It's never fun. It always sucks. I hate cheaters. She deserves every bad thing that happens to her.
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:10 PM   #10
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I feel for you...a lot of us know what is going on with you & your emotions right now, but hang in there, things will get better!

Like they say, "You never really know a Woman...till you meet her in Divorce Court"!

All joking aside, I know it sucks, but just be strong for your Kids, they will thank You later!
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:11 PM   #11
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Your knee-jerk reaction will be to go out and bang as much as you can! Don't do that and don't listen to anyone on here that tells you to do that. Your priorities are your kids and getting this divorce dissolved. My dip- father in law's wife ran off with the lawn guy 2 years ago and rather than take care of business and divorce the he was trying to be a pimp! Well that 10 years of marriage kicked in and she is now intitled to part of his pension. If he had taken care of business and divorced her 2 years ago she wouldn't have gotten jack! Now he is scrambling around trying to get the divorce finalized!
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:14 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squoddybody View Post
Sounds like you did everything right. You can't be blamed for her infidelity. I hate it when people say that it's the fault of the other spouse that forces one to cheat. That's utter bullshit. She is a person. Cheaters are people who only care about themselves. If she cared about you or her children she wouldn't have done so.

I have been cheated on and tried to stay/work it out. It's never fun. It always sucks. I hate cheaters. She deserves every bad thing that happens to her.
I tried hard to forgive her. Hence the 3 years of us trying to work it out. The last 3 months of our relationship(before she left) were up and down. I'd have depressed days, memories of all the that went on, it was like I was trying to forget the hurt, the harder I tried to forget and get "over" it, the worse it hurt. Thoughts of suicide, anger all that . I was going to a crappy marriage counseler, somehow he had me convinced it was all my fault. I read a book he gave me, in it it said one of the stages of healing was letting out to your betrayer all your pain. I did. I talked to her. Yelled some. Just started balling. I told her I didn't think I'd ever get over it. The next day she bounced. Left to friggin Ohio. wtf
She was gone 4 months and I never asked for anything. She sent money every month. Finally I came to the conclusion I didn't ever want her back. When I got a lawyer she went into beast mode. Blocking my every move. She stopped sending money. Started charging up the credit cards. I canceled them, but still got a hefty balance on them. Another angle in this dram is her parents live across the street. To say there is tension is an understatement. They have pretty much stayed out of the way, but I know they'll defend their daughter to the death, even though she abandonded them too. I have tons and tons of facts I can point out to show how bad she me, but all I can say she's doing the best she can. Just sad that her best isn't good for anybody else.
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Old 11-30-2012, 10:41 PM   #13
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Old 11-30-2012, 11:20 PM   #14
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Been in your exact same spot brother. The weekend of my 10 year anniversary she anounces she's leaving me. 2 days later I find out for another man. She abondoned me and my two girls. She had been stealing money out of our account and pumping it into her private account. She also put stop payments on all the outstanding checks that had not hit and pocketed the money.

Karma served those two a dish I could have never even dreamed.

It's going to be a rough ride for a while but, i can tell you it gets better.

Get you a shark of a lawyer. You are going to need it.
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Old 12-01-2012, 07:05 AM   #15
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situatgions like this suck for sure. You did the right thing. Take care of your kids like you have been and im telling you it will all work out for the best. No need to be in a relationship like that. Life is too short for you to try and make her happy like that. She up and i promise she will realize it later. Take a deep breath and look around.. You will be way more happy
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Old 12-01-2012, 07:19 AM   #16
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divorce hurts, it is supposed to hurt. It is the death of a relationship, the death of a life style. If the relationship was ever worth a , it's dying is naturally painful.
At the same time, it is also a birth. Birth of a new life, another chance at living...
Every mother I ever talked to, told me childbirth was painful, but it was worth it...
I hated my divorce, it was the most painful thing that ever happened to me...I can not say I ever thought about suicide, but i would not have minded dying at times, but the experience changed me, for the better...I now have the best life I have ever had... back then, I could not imagine that life would ever be this good.
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Old 12-01-2012, 09:24 AM   #17
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Quote:
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divorce hurts, it is supposed to hurt. It is the death of a relationship, the death of a life style. If the relationship was ever worth a , it's dying is naturally painful.
At the same time, it is also a birth. Birth of a new life, another chance at living...
Every mother I ever talked to, told me childbirth was painful, but it was worth it...
I hated my divorce, it was the most painful thing that ever happened to me...I can not say I ever thought about suicide, but i would not have minded dying at times, but the experience changed me, for the better...I now have the best life I have ever had... back then, I could not imagine that life would ever be this good.
Obed,
Interesting.
You and I are pretty close here. I have always described divorce as the "death of your life".
It is just as life changing as the death of a parent or loved one. THat same finality that comes with someone passing comes with divorce. Everything changes instantly and there is no going back.
The one thing that I would have never predicted in a million years is how many friends go away in the deal. It feels like your are poison and people want nothing to do with you.
I am totally OK with my divorce.
I WANT A REFUND. THE RECEIVED AND IS RECEIVING TOO MUCH MONEY!!!
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Old 12-01-2012, 09:52 AM   #18
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Sorry to hear your troubles. I just broke up with my girlfriend of 9 years and fiancee for one. My just take solace in the fact that we DIDN'T get married and have kids so I got out of things without the financial burden of the split and we don't have to worry about custody battles or how it will affect anything other than the pets.

I'll say this - you definitely look back and see the warts you ignored for all that time once you're out. You get those nostalgic feelings and want them back, but pretty quick you start realizing that there was a lot of stuff you don't want back as well.

Just remember that the chemicals in your brain when you're going through this are the same one that deal with addiction. You are addicted to your ex and you've got to kick that habit.
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Old 12-01-2012, 03:43 PM   #19
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Been there and have similar stories. Mine was final last Oct after 13 years together and a few months short of 10 years married.
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