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Old 01-18-2006, 02:02 PM   #1
Petro
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fact about vin diesel

Vin Diesel never shaves; he shoots himself in the face every morning so his facial hair doesn't get the wrong idea

Onions do not make Vin Diesel cry. Vin Diesel makes onions themselves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

When Vin Diesel had his first wet dream, he nearly drowned.

If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy ! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.
When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.

Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.

Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.

When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.

Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's .

Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the down.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Vin Diesel covers his Slip 'n' Slide with gravel.
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Old 01-18-2006, 02:14 PM   #2
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CHUCK NORRIS RE-WRITE
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im not a midget , i was actually born with a type of dwarfism, but i took medication for 12 yrs to reach just 5'6"
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Old 01-18-2006, 02:19 PM   #3
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kinda
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We must use terror, assassination, intimidation, land confiscation, and the cutting of all social services to rid Galilee of its Arab population.
David Ben-Gurion, Founding father of Israel
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Old 01-18-2006, 02:19 PM   #4
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i like chuck norris better.
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Old 01-19-2006, 01:53 PM   #5
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yep
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Old 01-19-2006, 02:01 PM   #6
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they're both gay
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We must use terror, assassination, intimidation, land confiscation, and the cutting of all social services to rid Galilee of its Arab population.
David Ben-Gurion, Founding father of Israel
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Old 01-19-2006, 02:12 PM   #7
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Haha...I still liked it.
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:03 PM   #8
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i dont care if it is a re-write, my stomace hurts from laughing so much :laughing6 :laughing6

rich`
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:17 PM   #9
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That was kinda good.
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Old 01-19-2006, 07:34 PM   #10
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When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

best one.
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Old 01-19-2006, 08:53 PM   #11
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Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.


Funny but not as good as ol chuck
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if4bae
:angry1: :angry1: :angry1: BIG BLUE BULLIES :angry1: :angry1: :angry1:
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Old 01-20-2006, 12:26 PM   #12
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hes a .
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Old 01-20-2006, 01:49 PM   #13
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they're both gay
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