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Old 01-11-2006, 12:13 PM   #1
FastLine
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Talking THE GUYS RULES

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the
time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear"the rules"
from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note...
these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
null and void after7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the
Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don 't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example,
is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't
want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine...Really.


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape.
Round is a shape.


1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know,
I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
but did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.
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Old 01-11-2006, 03:25 PM   #2
fuknrobert
the necessary villain
 
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:-D

i liked number 1
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im not a midget , i was actually born with a type of dwarfism, but i took medication for 12 yrs to reach just 5'6"
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Old 01-11-2006, 03:41 PM   #3
Btrthnezr3
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Haha...that's hillarious.
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Old 01-11-2006, 05:18 PM   #4
DuBwEaR
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so true
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Old 01-11-2006, 06:41 PM   #5
Patrick
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Last but not least, anything can always be made better by giving us a !

Patrick
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Old 01-11-2006, 07:21 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick
Last but not least, anything can always be made better by giving us a !
AMEN !!
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Old 01-11-2006, 07:29 PM   #7
QUACKMIRE
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I say..GIGGADY...YEA! to a b/job well done...
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Old 01-11-2006, 08:47 PM   #8
tahitianprincess
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would you like a woman advice ? ahahahhaha
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Old 01-11-2006, 11:43 PM   #9
hotcknstrips
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A woman's advice?? we all know women don't give advice, they give you freaking instructions! the wrong instructions, that is.

And yeah, amen to a BJ.....BJ....BJ..............................BJ... .man, that got me thinking.
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Old 01-12-2006, 02:57 PM   #10
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every single one of those is perfectly true.
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4 8 15 16 23 42
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Old 01-12-2006, 09:06 PM   #11
marlboroman71818
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:laughing6 :notworthy thats awsome
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