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Old 12-31-2005, 05:49 AM   #1
Ramius
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I saw a Midget fight a Monkey today..

I was sitting at the house early this morning stewing and pacing, upset that my bike wasn't finished yet when the phone rang, I ran to pick it up and it was my buddy Flick. Flick is a good person to know, he is the type of person who is always looking for the latest and greatest, well on this occasion he said he wanted to come over because he had something he wanted me to try, I was all like "Nah man, I'm maxxing out my bench press today I bet I can hit 300 next set" but he was insistant so I told him go ahead and come over, I only had 4 more sets of warm-ups left before I tried maxxing anyways so I shouldn't be that long, since I don't rest in between sets to really shock my system.

When he shows up he has this really putrid looking stuff and told me that it might be too strong for me to drink that I should maybe just try a sip, of course anyone knows after benching 400 pounds your test levels are through the roof and with a pirate-style ARRRR! I the cup out of his hand and quaff the foaming-foggy concoction in one manly gulp. Suddenly I meowed and ran into the house, things were different colors now and I had an undeniable urge to row my boat down the street, I find this odd not only because I do not have a boat, but also because as soon as the thought was implemented I suddenly found myself pushing my way down the driveway with the families elite edition swiffer on the back of Flick who's whimpering slightly but I smack him and say "On Dasher, On Donna, Arriba Ondelay!"

We continue into the thriving metropolis of Crosby to get the power up and win the game when suddenly I spy with my Looking Glass a tall man in a red suit with some sort of music box, he had a hairly little monkey that was forced to dance to the music from the box and if he stopped for anything other than to collect money in his little hat his owner would throw mushrooms at him until he danced again. One thing I forgot to mention about Flick is that he's a midgit and the only thing he hates worse than ponies is to see something short being abused, it doesn't matter if it's supposed to be short like a monkey he thinks all things under 3 feet should stick together.

At this point he bucks me off and lets out a fierce battle-cry which sounded oddly enough like my aunt elsie after she spied the last piece of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, with a mighty charge he runs after the tall man and began pummeling his kneecaps severly with the music box, unbeknownst to Flick the musicbox contained the monkeys girlfriend which was being held hostage, so in defense of his flailing girlfriend the monkey jumps on Flick with a screetch and begins biting as many of his 2000 parts as he could, this really disturbed Flick because he had never been attacked by a monkey before and wasn't sure exactly how to stop this situation, by now a crowd was gathering and as I tried to cast my spell of shadows over them that we might escape Flick began fighting off both the monkey and his keeper shouting insults at both like "Ingrate little monkey, I'll show you and 2tall how we do things round here!"

At this point the police showed up and even though I thrust a spell of confusion directly at one he somehow resisted my magic and hauled both me and Flick to jail. Some time around 6 the colors came back and I stopped breathing in pink and all I could do was look at Flick who just said "Yeah... sip next time man You really screwed up"

What an .
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Who I am now is not who I was, and who I will be is better than anything I ever could have imagined. I am Filled with the Spirit of Christ and I walk surrounded by a Host Of Angels, who can stand before the Army of ? Amen!
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Old 12-31-2005, 06:39 AM   #2
AliceInChains02
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do you have any left?
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Old 12-31-2005, 07:00 AM   #3
Ramius
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I put flick on the case, He said something about "statute of limitations" and "PETA".. might have to wait a while.
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Who I am now is not who I was, and who I will be is better than anything I ever could have imagined. I am Filled with the Spirit of Christ and I walk surrounded by a Host Of Angels, who can stand before the Army of ? Amen!
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Old 12-31-2005, 08:30 AM   #4
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thriving metropolis of Crosby
WHAT??? :laughing6
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Old 12-31-2005, 09:54 AM   #5
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sounds like fun to me bro! share the love
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Old 12-31-2005, 07:45 PM   #6
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I dont understand could you put that in dummy terms for me.
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Old 01-01-2006, 04:42 AM   #7
KalmarJoe
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He had a bad trip
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Old 01-02-2006, 03:01 PM   #8
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lmao i can imagine that was a day...
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Old 01-02-2006, 03:28 PM   #9
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he thinks all things under 3 feet should stick together.
lol
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im not a midget , i was actually born with a type of dwarfism, but i took medication for 12 yrs to reach just 5'6"
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Old 01-03-2006, 09:35 AM   #10
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Hehe, did you actually end up in Crosby? haha, i hope that you drank wasn't from Barret Station.
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