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Old 12-03-2008, 12:13 AM   #1
Mala Lingua
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Mala's Car Fire Incident 12/2

So. . . I have cigarette protocol now. Lemme explain.

I've been extra high-strung today, perhaps some of you could tell from my earlier posts, because I had a rather invigorating experience on the way home from work.

I had just entered the southern end of the Galveston causeway when I smelled a peculiar burning aroma. I smoke in my car (I know, I know), but it wasn't that kind of smoke. I sniffed the can of soda that I'd thrown a few butts in, but it wasn't the source. I scanned the cab to see if anything unusual caught my eye, but nothing was amiss. I figured it was something outside the car.

Thirty seconds or so later, I knew that whatever was causing the smell, it was, without a doubt, originating from inside the car. Traffic was moving fairly well, but it was kind of heavy, so I wasn't in a position to fully turn around and check out the back seat. By this point I'd realized what had happened.

A car was moving around the lanes kinda squirrely when I was headed off the island. When the guy weaved in front of me, I flicked my smoke to the left and out the window so my hands would be completely free. Clearly, the wind had caught the and tossed it into my backseat. As I mentioned before, I typically stuff my butts into old soda cans and dispose of them.

About the time this all clicked, the thing really took hold of whatever it was incinerating in the back, and the smoke began to thicken. Just as thoughts about the giant gas spill from Fugly (thank he wasn't in the car!) began crowding my consciousness, I saw the first small lick of flame in my review mirror! This was some serious chit. I was more than halfway across the causeway, and I kicked it into overdrive. I really wanted somewhere safe to pull over, and the causeway wasn't it.

Realizing the open windows were probably feeding the fire, I zipped them up as I pegged a hundred, weaving in and out of traffic trying to get to the other side of the stupid bridge. I determined that if I was going to die as stupid a death as this was likely to be, I didn't want it to be in anywhere within the city limits of Galveston (if you know me, you know why--if you don't--it doesn't matter). Windows up, though, meant smoke accumulated faster, so I dodged and weaved while adjusting the window, trying to find just the right amount of ventilation on the passenger's side to draw the smoke out but not fan the flames. Twas an art.

I got off the bridge and hit the first exit at Mach 2 (though it felt like I was driving a tractor) and squeeled into the first lot (some kind of sleezy bar-club) on the right.

I jumped out of the car and saw that it was a hoodie so cheerfully burning in the back seat. My fire extinguishing choices were limited:

1. I could use my favorite helmet to beat out the flames: Nyet.

2. I could use the shirt off my back, but I was squeamish about peeps passing by and seeing my only-in-a-bra boobies, so: Nyet.

3. I could grab the not-so-very-much-on-fire part of the hoodie and use it to beat the other part and the seat fire out: Yes!

And, that's it. Most of the fire was contained to the hoodie. There's only a smallish burn on the seat. Car kinda smells funny, but that'll fade.

Just wanted to share. Flame away. Bwahahahahahah.

PS--the reason I didn't share this earlier is because I just now admitted it to Wade. Last time, when I had the major accident on Mogee and tried to hide it but stupidly posted about it on MH and he read it, there was to pay.

Last edited by Mala Lingua; 12-03-2008 at 12:15 AM.
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:14 AM   #2
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dang. glad youre ok.
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:15 AM   #3
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wow
what a mess, glad you are ok though. that must have been a major trip seing you blast past on teh causeway!
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:21 AM   #4
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You've let me down Mala. I was hoping for pictures.
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:22 AM   #5
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Wow that sounds like it was quite an experience. I was laughing my off as i read it tho, sorry Thats why I always have a fire extinguisher and bottled water. Never know when crazy will happen
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:23 AM   #6
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:30 AM   #7
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not at you!! well..sorta. more at how Wade found out about Mogee.

glad you are ok!!! that is one of my BIGGEST fears. one of the major reasons i don't smoke in the car. (obvious one being smoke is bad for the kids to be around) but accidentally flicking one out and it flinging back in and burning them.
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:38 AM   #8
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Wow that sounds like it was quite an experience. I was laughing my off as i read it tho, sorry Thats why I always have a fire extinguisher and bottled water. Never know when crazy will happen
I have fire extinguishers all over the house, but it looks like one of 'em is gonna migrate to the car. T'would make my new and improved smoking-in-the-car protocol even better.

And shame on you peoples who be laughin' at my tribulation! . . . . . . .
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:39 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mala Lingua View Post
Flame away. Bwahahahahahah.
Good one.

Nice save!
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:40 AM   #10
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You've let me down Mala. I was hoping for pictures.
I s'pose tomorrow I'll post pics of the lil burn on the backseat and the poor hoodie. Who knows. . .if I'd had the camera with me, there's always the possibility I woulda tried for that in-progress fire shot.
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Old 12-03-2008, 12:56 AM   #11
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Oh . Glad you're okay.

I'm going to listen to "Firestarter" by Prodigy now.
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:00 AM   #12
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woman,

all the while I'm reading and laughing (was trying not to but the way you worded it is to comical) I'm seeing this car in my head racing over the bridges with this Cheech and Chong amount of smoke rolling out the windows. Cars hitting the shoulders to let this mad max driver go by.......

Sorry about your misfortune and glad you're ok. Maybe it's time to quit the smokes.
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:04 AM   #13
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did you pull into Demtries Cabaret? (i always thought it was a carpet store)
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:19 AM   #14
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did you pull into Demtries Cabaret? (i always thought it was a carpet store)
That sounds right! Big, gaudy place. . .
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:22 AM   #15
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Smoking kills.....





bwahhahaa
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:36 AM   #16
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wow I wish I could say that I haven't done that but I have just so you know you are not the only one bad part about when I did it is I pulled in to the fire station I was a captain at to beat the flames out I still catch about that glad your ok
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:46 AM   #17
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wow I wish I could say that I haven't done that but I have just so you know you are not the only one bad part about when I did it is I pulled in to the fire station I was a captain at to beat the flames out I still catch about that glad your ok
Thanks for admitting that; it does make me feel a bit better. If anything about that general scenario could be more ridiculous, you've revealed it. That would be a hard one to live down. A fire captain!
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:53 AM   #18
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yep and of coarse all the guys were outside washing the trucks
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Old 12-03-2008, 01:54 AM   #19
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yep and of coarse all the guys were outside washing the trucks
Poor guy.
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Old 12-03-2008, 02:00 AM   #20
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good thing Fugz wasn't back there with a tank o gas, or spilled gas from fugz's last journey in de civic
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