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Old 11-18-2005, 04:46 PM   #1
Roscoe P. Coltrane
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'03 CBR 600RR


Houston -

You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven't left your neighborhood.)

Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not the year.

The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.

If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to Randall's, Rice Market or a Kroger's Signature.

You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.

When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you know he just stepped in a fire ant bed.

You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.

You come to work in short-sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a cold front has blown through, and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes.

You wander into a section of town where you can't read the street signs but you don't care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there.

You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two cross-dressers on roller blades, holding hands.

You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window-shop.

You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.

You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.

You've never seen I-45 in any condition other than under-construction -- and you've lived here for 20-30 years.

If the humidity is below 90 percent, it's a good hair day.

The only real Mexican food is Tex-Mex.

You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has.

You see nothing unusual about an 80-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, EYE-witness news" into a television camera every night.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Houston.
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Old 11-18-2005, 04:51 PM   #2
ballin' outta control!
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CRF 50

sad but true

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Old 11-18-2005, 04:54 PM   #3
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very very true.
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Old 11-18-2005, 07:27 PM   #4
Agent PIMP
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so tru, I love Houston.
2003 Kawasaki Ninja ZX7R
1995 Honda Shadow VLX
2004 Nissan Frontier XE
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Old 11-18-2005, 08:15 PM   #5
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you forgot this one...

you know how to pronounce kuykendall.
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Old 11-18-2005, 11:44 PM   #6
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That still bug's me, where is the "R" in Kuykendall??????? And EVERYBODY say's it that way???
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Old 11-18-2005, 11:53 PM   #7
B.S. Motorsports
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20th ann. gsxr 750

so true and yea to the kuykendall

!!If it aint its !!
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Old 11-19-2005, 01:02 AM   #8
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:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6

That was awesome!!
Gotta love H-town
Koskesh....RIP Brotha.... 4/22/07
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Old 11-19-2005, 06:26 AM   #9
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Old 11-19-2005, 08:15 AM   #10
Bevo's royal guard.
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The only real Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
I beg to disagree. I make real mexican food. :icon_bigg
Originally Posted by Godsuki
I am going to kiss your my friend!!!!

Originally Posted by NY Weird Lady
Mucus Membrane!
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Old 11-19-2005, 09:26 AM   #11
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I moved here just two years ago and I can already relate to every last thing on there. That's very funny
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Old 11-21-2005, 02:14 PM   #12
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:laughing6 Thats some funny . Good Find!
Weather man why do you always lie about the weather? Why?
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