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Old 10-22-2005, 05:00 AM   #1
Ramius
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Hurt while going pee.. the morning after

FOR THE RECORD THIS IS NOT MY STORY ...... But I thought ya'll might like it.

Let's just say, 'hypothetically', that I decided to flogg my dolphin last night just before retiring for the evening. And let's just say that when I went to pee in the morning, some dried manchowder might have dried up around the opening to my , blocking the flow of urine. And let's just say that that blockage, might have caused urine to back up inside my rod for a second or two, creating an unusually fierce spray of pressure once said blockage was busted. And let's just say that this high-velocity -stream shot off at a 45-degree angle to the left because of said blockage. Let's just imagine that this 45-degree angle cause me to hit the ear of the cat who was perched not too far away, causing said cat to 'flip out,' screech, and perform a 4-legged leap with a half-twist and quarter roll (diffuculty of 6.8). Let's just say there may have been an empty glass resting on the back of the toilet, which may or may not have been tossed off the back of the toilet by said cat in the aforementioned jump. That glass, we might say, falls really close to my foot, lodging a small shard of glass into my left foot. This lodging of glass shard may have caused me to immediately grab said left foot, creating a situation of hopping on one leg (while still relieving myself, mind you) on a tile surface which is becoming increasingly wetter by the second. Let's just say that it only takes a few hops on one foot on a slippery surface to end a physical event of such fashion. AND LET'S JUST SAY that once my foot was taken out from underneath me, that I crashed into the shower door, knocking it off its tracks and causing me to fall in the shower and somehow ending in a back down, face up position, legs elevated, with blood running down my leg, pee streaming down my body to my neck, and a new head-welt with massive headache to boot.
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Who I am now is not who I was, and who I will be is better than anything I ever could have imagined. I am Filled with the Spirit of Christ and I walk surrounded by a Host Of Angels, who can stand before the Army of ? Amen!
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Old 10-22-2005, 05:11 AM   #2
AliceInChains02
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dried manchowder :brushteet
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Old 10-22-2005, 07:58 AM   #3
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he lets his cat watch him pee?
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Old 10-22-2005, 09:39 AM   #4
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this was stupid.
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Old 10-23-2005, 02:39 AM   #5
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Old 10-23-2005, 02:46 AM   #6
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Man Im hiogh as and that was funny!!!!
:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6
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Old 10-23-2005, 04:23 AM   #7
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Man Im hiogh as and that was funny!!!!
:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6

ya you did get fckd up tonight
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Old 10-23-2005, 05:14 AM   #8
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youg ot up, i cant find my bike or myy pants
goin gto bed, peace
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Old 10-23-2005, 01:36 PM   #9
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that sucks!!! LOL!!!

Ramius.... you ok now? Good story.. to many visuals though!
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Old 10-23-2005, 01:42 PM   #10
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Old 10-23-2005, 01:47 PM   #11
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glad us girls don't have to worry about anything like that....sounds painful and gross!!!
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Old 10-23-2005, 02:01 PM   #12
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glad us girls don't have to worry about anything like that....sounds painful and gross!!!


we'll stick the buring pee..

and ya'll stick to the squeezing watermelons out of lemon holes
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Old 10-23-2005, 02:02 PM   #13
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glad us girls don't have to worry about anything like that....sounds painful and gross!!!
yeah...yall are almost excluded from the whole "falling over while peeing" bit.
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Old 10-23-2005, 02:02 PM   #14
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WHAT...have to say i've never heard that one before....
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women just make it so hard to get... why can't you be like dogs, we walk up, sniff your , if we like it we get it right then and there!!!
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Old 10-23-2005, 02:04 PM   #15
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yeah...yall are almost excluded from the whole "falling over while peeing" bit.
TRUE TRUE...even though there have been plenty of times i've come home completly wasted and went to go pee....but i fell try to sit down....i think one time i hit my head on the bethtub.....OUCH!!!!!
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women just make it so hard to get... why can't you be like dogs, we walk up, sniff your , if we like it we get it right then and there!!!
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Old 10-24-2005, 03:34 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 50cc chick
TRUE TRUE...even though there have been plenty of times i've come home completly wasted and went to go pee....but i fell try to sit down....i think one time i hit my head on the bethtub.....OUCH!!!!!
Just pee in the bathtub, you can hang on to the soap bar for balance, no way you can miss and best of all you don't have to flush!!


Dotcom!!
I'm getting better every day! In fact, AliceNChains was even let me ride his motorcycle... in the driveway..for four feet.

I asked the doctor about going to rehab for my shoulder, he said wait a couple more weeks for the bones to get better, but other than that I'm fine.

Worst thing is I'm just so bored, if I lived even remotely near the southside or whereever it is that 90 percent of the people on this board lives I'd sponser some 10 dollar bike details just to gimmie something to do.

For now I've been piddling around with an old 280zx project in my driveway, if I could get it to run right I'd be a happy man.
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Who I am now is not who I was, and who I will be is better than anything I ever could have imagined. I am Filled with the Spirit of Christ and I walk surrounded by a Host Of Angels, who can stand before the Army of ? Amen!
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Old 10-24-2005, 09:15 AM   #17
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depends always work for me..
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