MotoHouston.com MotoHouston.com
Register Members List Member Map Media Calendar Garage Forum Home Mark Forums Read

Go Back   MotoHouston.com > Off Topic (everything else) > Off Topic
Forgot info?

Welcome to MotoHouston.com! You are currently viewing our forums as a guest which gives you limited access to the community. By joining our free community you will have access to great discounts from our sponsors, the ability to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content, free email, classifieds, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, join our community!

Register Today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.


Like us on Facebook! Regular shirt GIVEAWAYS and more

Advertisement

Reply
Share This Thread: 
Subscribe to this Thread Thread Tools
Old 03-23-2008, 09:27 AM   #1
Grinchy
Senior Member
 
Grinchy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Seabrook
Feedback Rating: (15)
Posts: 15,535

Experience: 10+ years
Trackdays: 10+

Bike(s):
'prila









Talking The Gambler and the IRS

The Inland Revenue decides to audit TG (The Gambler), and summons him to an appointment with the most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when TG shows up with his solicitor.

The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the Inland Revenue finds that believable.'

'I'm an awesome gambler, and I can prove it,' says The Gambler. 'How about a
a little demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, 'Okay. You're on!'

TG says, 'I'll bet you a thousand bucks that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'No way! It's a bet.'
TG removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.

TG says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand bucks that I can bite my other
eye.'

The auditor can tell TG isn't blind, so he takes the bet. TG removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realises he has
bet and lost three thousand dollars, with TG's solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Would you like to go double or nothing?' TG asks. 'I'll bet you six thousand bucks that I can stand on one side of your desk and into that rubbish bin on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way TG can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

TG stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he strains
for all his worth , he can't make the stream reach the bin on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss
into a big win. But The Gambler's solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the solicitor. 'This morning, when Paddy told me he'd been
summoned for an audit, he bet me $20,000 that he could come in here and all over your desk - and that you'd be jumping for joy about it..'
Grinchy is offline   Reply With Quote
Similar Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Grandpa Is A Gambler GsxrRcr369 Off Topic 6 11-11-2008 10:11 AM
When do we get IRS moneys? blends Off Topic 56 05-13-2008 08:53 PM
Well, the IRS has FUKED me once again Swift E Off Topic 38 04-14-2007 03:52 PM
IRS owns me andre3k Off Topic 29 03-03-2007 01:45 AM
IRS reminder: Sc0 Off Topic 5 04-15-2006 08:29 PM
Advertisement
Old 03-23-2008, 09:30 AM   #2
eyefull
Crash Test Dummy
 
eyefull's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Cypress, TX
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 70


Bike(s):
'01 SV & '07 R6









oldie but a goody
eyefull is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-2008, 04:02 PM   #3
RinasDaddy
When in doubt, restart!
 
RinasDaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 1,563


Bike(s):
10 Speed :(









man that's awesome
RinasDaddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-2008, 04:13 PM   #4
NoFear
Busa Chairman of Posing
 
NoFear's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Texas USA
Feedback Rating: (2)
Posts: 7,375












The Gambler and the IRS
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by melissa claire View Post
Busa club. why did you not mention that? that makes things all nice and peachy
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength-
NoFear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-2008, 04:20 PM   #5
gunshotwound
You have been warned!
 
gunshotwound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Bullard, TX
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 5,540

Experience: 10+ years
Trackdays: 10+

Bike(s):
YAMAHA R6
YAMAHA FZ6



Member Garage





Werd!
__________________


CMRA #106
gunshotwound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-2008, 04:28 PM   #6
PETE
CLUTCH
 
PETE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: GALLERIA AREA
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 3,191


Bike(s):
Don't have one =(









Send a message via AIM to PETE
aHHHHHHHhahahahah good post!
PETE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-2008, 05:33 PM   #7
alrova
- LSTD - From 0 to Snail
 
alrova's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NW-Houston
Feedback Rating: (1)
Posts: 3,861

Experience: 1-3 months
Trackdays: 1

Bike(s):
09 ZX-6R









Send a message via MSN to alrova Send a message via Yahoo to alrova
good one
__________________
--Alberto--
New weapon - "Green Hornet Kato Style powered by Stoner's blood drop stolen by Melandri injected by Lascorz"
alrova is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-24-2008, 05:37 PM   #8
gem
o_O
 
gem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 5,704












Send a message via AIM to gem
Quote:
Originally Posted by eyefull View Post
oldie but a goody
+1
__________________

Attention for Rent: PM for a free quote.
Ask about the Emerald Club to see if you qualify for membership today!

gem is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Advertisement


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:25 PM.


MotoHouston.com is not responsible for the content posted by users.
Privacy Policy