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Old 03-07-2008, 10:43 AM   #1
Brena23
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Adult Riddles

Adult Riddles

Q. What is the difference between a Drug dealer and a Hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe ?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. T he same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: don't have eye s.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up i n the morning?
A. They don't have to scratch!
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If I hate you because you're a stupid then I just hate you. If I hate you because you're a specific skin color then I'm a racist. It really is that simple.

Satan ButtNuggets Mothernugget
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:45 AM   #2
Azylum
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lol. werd.
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:45 AM   #3
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LMAO!
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:45 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brena23 View Post
Adult Riddles

Q. What is the difference between a Drug dealer and a Hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe ?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. T he same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: don't have eye s.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up i n the morning?
A. They don't have to scratch!
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:46 AM   #5
lil_red_rider
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Thanks for the laugh this morning!!
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:47 AM   #6
Daily Triumph
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the last one made me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sifu-TZ View Post
one can only be hypocritcal with regard to ones' OWN statements and opinions, and not those of the others around. great, you can't sweep and you don't own a dictionary. I hope you're better with an iron and starch.
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apparently im a offender in Florida
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Old 03-07-2008, 10:49 AM   #7
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That is toooooo funny. Thanx.
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Old 03-07-2008, 11:27 AM   #8
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Good stuff Brena... LOL
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Old 03-07-2008, 11:54 AM   #9
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While the family was sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his
father, 'Dad, how many kinds of are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three
phases. In her 20s, a woman's are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how
many kinds of '' are there?'

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes
through three phases also. In his 20s, his is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes, dead from the root up and the are just for decoration.
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Old 03-07-2008, 11:59 AM   #10
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what is better than a long legged woman wrapping her legs around you?






























a short legged woman trying.
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Old 03-07-2008, 12:21 PM   #11
R6Spartan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brena23 View Post
Adult Riddles

Q. What is the difference between a Drug dealer and a Hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe ?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. T he same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: don't have eye s.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.


Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up i n the morning?
A. They don't have to scratch!


Hahahaha, very funny
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Old 03-07-2008, 12:27 PM   #12
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... good stuff!
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Old 03-07-2008, 01:08 PM   #13
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Thanks ladies for the laugh!
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Old 03-07-2008, 01:15 PM   #14
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Did you hear about the blond chick that had bruises all around her naval?

Seems her boyfriend was blond too.....
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Old 03-07-2008, 01:17 PM   #15
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not a riddle but Adult oriented...



A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor. He gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests, then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts."

"Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's 'love canal'. Then, on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue."

"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his 'love pole'. Then, like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."

The couple went home and their life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them. He conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your life is as good as it will ever be. I cannot help."

The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please help us."

"Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios..."
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