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Old 02-16-2008, 12:08 AM   #1
Scatter
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(yet another) the difference between a man and woman

1.NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.



2.EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


3.MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.


4.BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


5.ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.


6.CATS
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.



7.FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


8.SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


9.MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.


10.DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


11.NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


12.OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering
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Old 02-16-2008, 12:22 AM   #2
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Old 02-16-2008, 12:38 AM   #3
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I especially like #8. I think I'm finally successful!
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Old 02-16-2008, 12:48 AM   #4
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I especially like #8. I think I'm finally successful!
So Bill Gates is your man - you lucky dog!
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Old 02-16-2008, 12:54 AM   #5
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6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo! I refuse to believe this. It's simply propaganda put out by some crafty-clever dogs.
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Old 02-16-2008, 12:56 AM   #6
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Quote:
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I especially like #8. I think I'm finally successful!
Nope, he has me on a budget, and the rest is put away, so I CAN'T spend it! It didn't say anything about wanting to spend it...
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Old 02-16-2008, 12:56 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mala Lingua View Post
6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo! I refuse to believe this. It's simply propaganda put out by some crafty-clever dogs.
sorry Mala.......its true
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one can only be hypocritcal with regard to ones' OWN statements and opinions, and not those of the others around. great, you can't sweep and you don't own a dictionary. I hope you're better with an iron and starch.
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apparently im a offender in Florida
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Old 02-16-2008, 12:59 AM   #8
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don't worry mala, anyone kicking my cats will have some serious issues to deal with. I love my two boys.
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:00 AM   #9
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Quote:
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Nope, he has me on a budget, and the rest is put away, so I CAN'T spend it! It didn't say anything about wanting to spend it...
next time I meet him I'm gonna talk to him about cutting back on your allowance. You are too spoiled!
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:01 AM   #10
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sorry Mala.......its true
So, you're as much as admitting that you kick cats? :/:
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:02 AM   #11
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Quote:
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next time I meet him I'm gonna talk to him about cutting back on your allowance. You are too spoiled!
Poo on you. I'm not spoiled at all by how much I spend on myself... it's his fault for buying me everything I want.
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:05 AM   #12
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don't worry mala, anyone kicking my cats will have some serious issues to deal with. I love my two boys.
Excellent sir. If you're single, I'll add you to the short list of wonderful guys I'd be willing to introduce to hot female friends who're looking for geniune kitty appreciators.

Daily Triumph never make that list now. . .
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:07 AM   #13
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Quote:
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Excellent sir. If you're single, I'll add you to the short list of wonderful guys I'd be willing to introduce to hot female friends who're looking for geniune kitty appreciators.

Daily Triumph never make that list now. . .
I say we hold him down and kick him.
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:07 AM   #14
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Quote:
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So, you're as much as admitting that you kick cats? :/:
not me, just the "normal" guys

I seen'em, the bastids
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one can only be hypocritcal with regard to ones' OWN statements and opinions, and not those of the others around. great, you can't sweep and you don't own a dictionary. I hope you're better with an iron and starch.
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apparently im a offender in Florida
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:08 AM   #15
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Quote:
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I say we hold him down and kick him.
dont make me step on your head
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sifu-TZ View Post
one can only be hypocritcal with regard to ones' OWN statements and opinions, and not those of the others around. great, you can't sweep and you don't own a dictionary. I hope you're better with an iron and starch.
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Originally Posted by lilmckee View Post
apparently im a offender in Florida
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:09 AM   #16
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I say we hold him down and kick him.
Yeah, but we gotta act like we like him when other people are around then we'll visciously turn on him when they're gone.
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:11 AM   #17
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not me, just the "normal" guys

I seen'em, the bastids
Uh-huh. Don't try your wiley man rhetoric on us mister! Until you make a profession of cat love, you're gonna be lumped in with the rest of those "bastids."






























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Old 02-16-2008, 01:11 AM   #18
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Yeah, but we gotta act like we like him when other people are around then we'll visciously turn on him when they're gone.
Yes... we'll have to lure him in with our kindness and homemade cookies! Man trap 101!
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:13 AM   #19
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..
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Quote:
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one can only be hypocritcal with regard to ones' OWN statements and opinions, and not those of the others around. great, you can't sweep and you don't own a dictionary. I hope you're better with an iron and starch.
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apparently im a offender in Florida
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Old 02-16-2008, 01:19 AM   #20
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..
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