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Old 02-01-2008, 09:39 AM   #1
RNcbr
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I buried my Dad

I got back to houston today at 5:30 am and plan on working today. Not sure how my day is going to go.

How have you guys dealt with a family loss?
Some people just dont care about themselves anymore
some just inflict pain to themselves.

I really dont know how to deal with my loss. Wife has stated to me that ive been acting weird. All day I reminisce about the times with my dad, even though i try not to think about him.. so how did you guys deal with a loss like that
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Old 02-01-2008, 09:44 AM   #2
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My mom passed away back in 05. It was definitely the hardest thing i've ever gone through. I fell into a depression for over a year. Being around friends and people that care about you is the best thing. Try and stay busy, think about all the awesome memories you shared with your father and stay positive. He's in a better place, laughing at all the good times. I know my mom is watching me everyday and proud of me. She is my motivation and drive to be a good and positive person.
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Old 02-01-2008, 09:45 AM   #3
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one day at a time. Keep active and try to go on with your life.
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Old 02-01-2008, 09:48 AM   #4
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Sorry for your loss! Everyone deals with things differently! Just try to remember the good times you spent with your dad!
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:05 AM   #5
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sorry for the loss

if you need to get our and clear your mind let us know we will be glad to get you out and hang out
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:08 AM   #6
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sorry for the loss

if you need to get our and clear your mind let us know we will be glad to get you out and hang out
+1 Sorry for your loss. Keep your mind right and remember that it is alright to sad. It's natural. Remember the good times you guys shared. Life is memories and nothing more.
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:24 AM   #7
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Life Will Go On

I lost An uncle the day before New Years. i never Got to say goodBye,and it hurt. Remember that your father is in A much better place now,and believe me when i say Is watching over you and your family. Prayer and doing the regular things you do everyday will help, and its ok to mourn for however long as you want.
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:35 AM   #8
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im sorry for your loss.........
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:40 AM   #9
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Sorry to hear about the lost. Anything close like that i know can be emotionally depressing. My grandfather passed away Sept. 2007 and i was down and out for a bit. My grandparents raised me up for 6 years in Texas because my parents was'nt fianancially stable, so i'm pretty close to them. How i dealt with a lost that close is celebrating his life and being closer to my friends and family. During his awake and funeral i had time to catch up with my cousins that i have'nt talked over years so now we call each other to stay in touch. Things like that can definetly help. Hang in there, i know your dad rather see you smiling and wants you to celebrate his life!
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:41 AM   #10
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Roland,
Being nurses you would think we are better prepared to handle death but we're not. My dad died five years ago and I am still grieving. Let yourself feel what you are going to feel. Some people need time alone while others need friends around. Some people get angry, others appear inappropriately jovial. There is NO right way to feel/act. Just know that with time the pain does ease and that you will get through this. Deb
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Old 02-01-2008, 11:02 AM   #11
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hey your back!! il call you later
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Old 02-01-2008, 11:20 AM   #12
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I'm sorry for your loss. All you can do is go on. Remember the good stuff and be patient.
Time is your friend.

I lost my dad about 4 years ago. It gets easier but never easy.
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Old 02-01-2008, 02:03 PM   #13
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Remember the good things, take time to grieve, don't flake out.
Honor his memory by being his best legacy...
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Old 02-01-2008, 10:16 PM   #14
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I don't talk about it much, but maybe knowing others have been though what you're going through will help.

I lost my Mom rather suddenly when I was 25.
3 years later my Father passed away, he had a heart attack and died in the hallway of our house as I held him.

I'm an only child and at that time had no other family that was still alive. The realization that I was completely on my own in the world was somewhat of a harsh reality.

At first dealing with the death of someone who is close to you is a pretty hard blow.
Disbelief can kick in; I can't begin to tell you how many times I rounded the corner to our street, fully expecting to see my Dads car in the driveway.

In time you will learn to accept / deal with it.

You probably will never "get" completely over it though.


It's been over 20 years since my Mom passed and almost 18 since my Dad did, and I still think of them almost every day.

Keep your head up, take comfort in the good memories you had, and keep yourself occupied, but allow yourself time to grieve.

As men, we typically don't allow ourselves to mourn properly.
It wasn't till many years later that I truly mourned my Dads passing.

Hang in there, and if you need to talk, give me a shout.
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Old 02-02-2008, 02:49 AM   #15
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My father died last August. I watched him succumb to lung cancer for the last eight months (he smoked for 50 yrs). The last two months were really tough but I had a support system to help me.

It was hard at times and the pain still comes in waves but remember the good times AND the bad times (to keep it in perspective).

The main thing is find someone to talk about it. Talking is the best therapy- friend, girlfriend, relative, (avoid strangers on the street - they are less than sympthetic sometimes)

I hope this helps.
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Old 02-02-2008, 03:28 AM   #16
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I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Losing a parent or a child is one of the hardest things to over come. My father passed away due to lung cancer when I was 18 and I still have a very hard time when I think about his life and all of the good as well as the bad times that we shared. Watching your once vibrant, healthy parent deteriorate, and pass away will take its toll on you physically and emotionally. But you need to find a way to take care of yourself and allow yourself the right to grieve. There's no time limit to how long you will be mourning the loss of your father, everybody is different in regards to the length of time needed.

I agree with mrclean completely with his suggestion that you find someone to talk to about your grief. Sometimes we just need someone that can listen and understand where we're coming from, without the fear of judgement. For me, I found a friend in someone that had lost his mother. To know that someone else knew what I was feeling and that they understood, helped termendously. For some reason, I was able to talk to him, when I wasn't comfortable enough to talk to my own family about everything that was going on inside me. I think that until someone experiences the loss of a parent, they won't be able to fully comprehend where you're coming from and what type of emotions you're experiencing. It's perfectly acceptable to feel lost and have huge waves of emotions. It's better to mourn now, then hold it all inside IMO.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, feel free to get a hold of me anytime, day or night.
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Old 02-02-2008, 08:28 AM   #17
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sorry to hear about your loss, sucks losing a parent
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