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Old 01-28-2008, 12:25 PM   #1
maskale
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Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas!

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't
work there, you may live in Texas.

If you've worn shorts and a
parka at the same time, you may live in Texas

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave
both unlocked, you may live in Texas

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to
use them, you may live in Texas

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody s passing you, you may live in Texas

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Texas

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all
your Texas friends & others, you definitely live in Texas

Need a vacation? Here is a list of actual places to travel to in
Texas :

Need to be cheered up?
Happy, Texas 79042
Pep , Texas 79353
Smiley , Texas 78159
Paradise , Texas 76073
Rainbow , Texas 76077
Sweet Home , Texas 77987
Comfort , Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?
Sun City , Texas 78628
Sunrise , Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray , Texas 79086
Sunny Side , Texas 77423

Want something to eat?
Bacon , Texas 76301
Noodle , Texas 79536
Oatmeal , Texas 78605
Turkey , Texas 79261
Trout , Texas 75789
Sugar Land , Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice , Texas 75155
And top it off with:
Sweetwater , Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit , Texas 75436
Colorado City , Texas 79512
Denver City , Texas 79323
Nevada , Texas 75173
Memphis , Texas 79245
Miami , Texas 79059
Boston , Texas 75570
Santa Fe , Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony , Texas 75861
Reno , Texas 75462

Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a
plane ticket!
Athens , Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China , Texas 77613
Egypt , Texas 77436
Turkey , Texas 79261
London , Texas 76854
New London , Texas 75682
Paris , Texas 75460

No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse , Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth , Texas 79031

And a city named after our State!
Texas City , Texas 77590

Exhausted?
Energy , Texas 76452

Cold?
Blanket , Texas 76432
Winters, Texas

Like to read about History?
Santa Anna , Texas
Goliad , Texas
Alamo , Texas
Gun Barrel City , Texas

Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670

Men are from Mars, woman are from
Venus , Texas 76084

You guessed it... it's on the state line...
Texline , Texas 79087

For the kids...
Kermit , Texas 79745
Elmo , Texas 75118
Nemo , Texas 76070
Tarzan , Texas 79783
Winnie , Texas 77665
Sylvester , Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas , to make you smile..... :
Frognot , Texas 75424
Bigfoot , Texas 78005
Hogeye , Texas 75423
Cactus , Texas 79013
Notrees , Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest , Texas 76886
Kickapoo , Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas
Telephone , Texas 75488
Telegraph , Texas 76883
Whiteface , Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079
The Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore , Texas 75662


P.S. Whoops, left out
Muleshoe
Cut'n shoot,
Hoot And Holler,
Ding Dong, and don't forget......
Farewell, Texas

And, of course, there is a place in Texas that is......
KNOTT , TEXAS
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Old 01-28-2008, 12:28 PM   #2
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Old 01-28-2008, 12:30 PM   #3
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Dime Box, woo hoo, dance hall baby. I can't believe they left off my wife's home town of Priddy, TX
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if 100 people tell you that you're a fuhking idiot...odds are your a fuhking idiot.
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Old 01-28-2008, 02:01 PM   #4
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some cities I know off the top of my head around the area i'm from..

if ur feeling fruity... fairy, tx

if ur thirsty... mineral wells, tx

if ur feeling lawful... ranger, tx

if steven wants to feel at home... stevenville, tx

i'm sure some can think of one for "huckabay, tx" sound it out.. "huck a bee"

if ur feeling prime.. meridian, tx

if ur feeling dumb, college station, tx

if u wanna know the weather... weatherford, tx

if u think u got a bad varment problem, go to... possum kingdom, tx

that's all I got for now.
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Old 01-28-2008, 02:15 PM   #5
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Got beat up? ------------ Shiner, TX

Feeling like committing genocide?---------- Sudan, TX

Heard a rumor? ---------- Grapevine, TX

Electrician? ------- Junction, TX

Emeperor Hadrian? ------- Wall, TX
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Old 01-28-2008, 03:04 PM   #6
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I think we have already named more cities, towns and BFE's then some whole states have, ha, we have not even got started yet, TX is just to big.
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Old 01-28-2008, 03:43 PM   #7
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Dublin, TX (add to international)

150860878 L
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Old 01-28-2008, 04:02 PM   #8
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Texas is not too big all the other states are too SMALL...
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Old 01-28-2008, 04:18 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meaner-n-u View Post
Texas is not too big all the other states are too SMALL...
(except Alaska of course, but as big as they are, they kinda like being overlooked)
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