MotoHouston.com MotoHouston.com
Register Members List Member Map Media Calendar Garage Forum Home Mark Forums Read

Go Back   MotoHouston.com > Off Topic (everything else) > Off Topic
Forgot info?

Welcome to MotoHouston.com! You are currently viewing our forums as a guest which gives you limited access to the community. By joining our free community you will have access to great discounts from our sponsors, the ability to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content, free email, classifieds, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, join our community!

Register Today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.


Like us on Facebook! Regular shirt GIVEAWAYS and more

Advertisement

Reply
Share This Thread: 
Subscribe to this Thread Thread Tools
Old 01-15-2008, 10:49 AM   #41
CLETUS
Jungle Racing
 
CLETUS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Cypress, TX
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 1,275












When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a CHICKEN!!
__________________
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window!
CLETUS is offline   Reply With Quote
Similar Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Chuck Norris... del240z Off Topic 96 06-15-2013 07:34 AM
Chuck Norris bdmpastx Off Topic 7 06-12-2008 01:55 PM
Chuck Norris... Btrthnezr3 Off Topic 9 10-20-2006 06:24 PM
Chuck Norris jrock Off Topic 4 03-16-2006 08:26 AM
Chuck Norris jerzeyfresh17 Off Topic 15 01-19-2006 12:18 PM
Advertisement
Old 01-15-2008, 02:00 PM   #42
CLETUS
Jungle Racing
 
CLETUS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Cypress, TX
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 1,275












When Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he always checks under the bed for CLETUS.
__________________
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window!
CLETUS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:01 PM   #43
Jay
Deleted
 
Jay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 4,104

Experience: 5 years











said let there be light.........chuck norris told him, say please
__________________
What can I say
Jay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:05 PM   #44
cashtown
Lawyers Guns and Money
 
cashtown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Hunt, TX HWY 39
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 7,955

Experience: 10+ years

Bike(s):
'05 Hayabusa '98 ZX-6E









Quote:
Originally Posted by hardcoresteve View Post
chuck noris faught bruce lee. round house kicked him in half thus we got jackie chan and jet li
Right here's the classicness

__________________
freak20brothers



Fat Freddy says, "Busas are for posing!"
cashtown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:11 PM   #45
cashtown
Lawyers Guns and Money
 
cashtown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Hunt, TX HWY 39
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 7,955

Experience: 10+ years

Bike(s):
'05 Hayabusa '98 ZX-6E









Quote:
In early 1968, Norris suffered the sixth and last loss of his career, losing an upset decision to Louis Delgado. However, on November 24, 1968, he avenged his defeat to Delgado and in the process won the Professional Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact) title, which he held for six consecutive years.[3] In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the fighter of the year award by Black Belt Magazine.
Quote:
Chun Kuk Do
Main article: Chun Kuk Do

Chuck Norris in 1976.Norris created the martial art Chun Kuk Do, which is based primarily on Tang Soo Do and includes elements from every combat style he knows. Like many other martial arts Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honor and rules to live by. These rules are from Chuck Norris' personal code. They are:

I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family.
I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness.
I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
I will always remain loyal to , my country, family and my friends.
I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.
The real deal.
__________________
freak20brothers



Fat Freddy says, "Busas are for posing!"
cashtown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:18 PM   #46
RBLCHIC
599 Chic
 
RBLCHIC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Friendswood
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 367


Bike(s):
2006 Honda 599









Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, "WWCND?"
RBLCHIC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:19 PM   #47
RBLCHIC
599 Chic
 
RBLCHIC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Friendswood
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 367


Bike(s):
2006 Honda 599









Chuck Norris does not age, he simply turns around and round house kicks time in the face
RBLCHIC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:46 PM   #48
Fuzzy018
Senior Member
 
Fuzzy018's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: West Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 4,034

Experience: 6 years

Bike(s):
2009 HD Dyna - Super Glide









Some kids their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. 1899 8.341
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 1689 8.335
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 2168 8.331
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 1275 8.318
Chuck Norris can speak braille. 1658 8.302
Once, while having in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. 1970 8.299
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence. 443 8.242
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 1426 8.197
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance." 791 8.191
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 1441 8.163
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. 647 8.134
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves. 315 8.048
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. 2611 7.984
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 965 7.969
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. 641 7.952
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. 1013 7.950
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 923 7.948
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 1005 7.917
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. 1060 7.875
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. 1032 7.863
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef. 984 7.823
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. 949 7.783
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 798 7.703
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris 780 7.672
Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result. 1008 7.665
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. 684 7.635
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 1013 7.607
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister. 712 7.587
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own because Chuck Norris will not take from anyone. 802 7.571
Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel. 834 7.571
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. 819 7.570
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 817 7.534
Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body. 899 7.491
The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep. 582 7.491
Chuck Norris is always on top during because Chuck Norris never ****s up. 797 7.488
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. 825 7.469
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash. 888 7.444
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. 783 7.443
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. 708 7.400
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder. 412 7.391
Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. 352 7.375
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. 760 7.374
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins. 665 7.370
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants. 729 7.358
When Chuck Norris goes cow-tipping, he lifts a cow up and drop kicks it into the neighboring farm. All the other cows simply tip themselves over to keep from having to walk back in the dark. 49 7.347
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. 548 7.323
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. 670 7.322
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano 44 7.318
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris 719 7.317
Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism. 1039 7.312
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies". 973 7.296
Chuck Norris can drown a fish. 615 7.294
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this. 674 7.274
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Jeep.
923 7.261
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. 644 7.261
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul. 802 7.244
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box. 608 7.237
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost. 659 7.208
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. 691 7.184
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris. 795 7.176
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley. 194 7.160
Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the **** out of the way. 458 7.159
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick. 760 7.157
Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life. 190 7.153
A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Chuck knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that. 500 7.152
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. 653 7.144
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. 691 7.127
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 752 7.124
Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." 819 7.121
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. 422 7.114
Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the **** Chuck Norris is. 761 7.110
When said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please." 828 7.105
The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things. 678 7.094
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet. 585 7.082
Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a ***** would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery." 702 7.067
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist. 642 7.058
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 646 7.050
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims. 682 7.050
Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his . 696 7.036
Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil. 699 7.036
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you." 643 7.036
The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of ***** Chuck Norris eats. 770 7.034
Fuzzy018 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:47 PM   #49
Fuzzy018
Senior Member
 
Fuzzy018's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: West Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 4,034

Experience: 6 years

Bike(s):
2009 HD Dyna - Super Glide









Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die. 715 7.022
Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure. 708 7.010
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during , because they are doing the same thing. 690 7.000
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. 705 6.999
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is. 631 6.998
Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye. 391 6.992
Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry. 729 6.989
Chuck Norris used to beat the out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him. 639 6.972
Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better ****ing do what Chuck Norris says. 628 6.965
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. 689 6.949
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris. 734 6.937
We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic. 743 6.930
The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. 652 6.925
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. 620 6.908
Fuzzy018 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 02:48 PM   #50
Nightster Ridester
Holmes Hot Rods & Cycles
 
Nightster Ridester's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Feedback Rating: (2)
Posts: 3,664

Experience: 10+ years

Bike(s):
1975 Harley Ironhead




Member Garage





thats no fun you just copied and pasted :( way to ruinin the fun
__________________

-Harley Davidson is The Original Gangster
Nightster Ridester is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:03 PM   #51
Fuzzy018
Senior Member
 
Fuzzy018's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: West Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 4,034

Experience: 6 years

Bike(s):
2009 HD Dyna - Super Glide









Sorry.

It's a repost though....
Fuzzy018 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:06 PM   #52
Nightster Ridester
Holmes Hot Rods & Cycles
 
Nightster Ridester's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Feedback Rating: (2)
Posts: 3,664

Experience: 10+ years

Bike(s):
1975 Harley Ironhead




Member Garage





The whole Chuck Norris thread isn't....maybe your norris jokes that you copy and pasted (i remember you postin all those up from an email or something along time ago) but the whole thread isnt a repost.......FTMFRP
__________________

-Harley Davidson is The Original Gangster
Nightster Ridester is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:09 PM   #53
BigComfy
Senior Member
 
BigComfy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: under a rock
Feedback Rating: (3)
Posts: 24,322

Experience: 1-3 months
Trackdays: 10+

Bike(s):
SV1k (sold)
CRB6 Track Bike (sold)
Daytona 1200 (parted)
1st Gen FZ1 (sold)
1st Gen SV650 (sold)

Member Garage


Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy018 View Post
Sorry.

It's a repost though....
Chuck Norris asked me to post this for him

STFU Bruce Lee
__________________
"I haven't seen the crash, but I think Marc needs to be penalized for two or three seasons! Until I stop racing!"-VR46
BigComfy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:10 PM   #54
BigComfy
Senior Member
 
BigComfy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: under a rock
Feedback Rating: (3)
Posts: 24,322

Experience: 1-3 months
Trackdays: 10+

Bike(s):
SV1k (sold)
CRB6 Track Bike (sold)
Daytona 1200 (parted)
1st Gen FZ1 (sold)
1st Gen SV650 (sold)

Member Garage


....
__________________
"I haven't seen the crash, but I think Marc needs to be penalized for two or three seasons! Until I stop racing!"-VR46
BigComfy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:15 PM   #55
Fuzzy018
Senior Member
 
Fuzzy018's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: West Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 4,034

Experience: 6 years

Bike(s):
2009 HD Dyna - Super Glide









Quote:
Originally Posted by BigComfy View Post
Chuck Norris asked me to post this for him

STFU Bruce Lee




And what does FTMFRP mean?
Fuzzy018 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:16 PM   #56
Nightster Ridester
Holmes Hot Rods & Cycles
 
Nightster Ridester's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Feedback Rating: (2)
Posts: 3,664

Experience: 10+ years

Bike(s):
1975 Harley Ironhead




Member Garage





The Motha Fukin Repost Police
__________________

-Harley Davidson is The Original Gangster
Nightster Ridester is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:18 PM   #57
Fuzzy018
Senior Member
 
Fuzzy018's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: West Houston
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 4,034

Experience: 6 years

Bike(s):
2009 HD Dyna - Super Glide









Quote:
Originally Posted by zx-6racer View Post
The Motha Fukin Repost Police
OK that's funny too.
Fuzzy018 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:19 PM   #58
BigComfy
Senior Member
 
BigComfy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: under a rock
Feedback Rating: (3)
Posts: 24,322

Experience: 1-3 months
Trackdays: 10+

Bike(s):
SV1k (sold)
CRB6 Track Bike (sold)
Daytona 1200 (parted)
1st Gen FZ1 (sold)
1st Gen SV650 (sold)

Member Garage


Quote:
Originally Posted by zx-6racer View Post
The Motha Fukin Repost Police
repost and please STFU
__________________
"I haven't seen the crash, but I think Marc needs to be penalized for two or three seasons! Until I stop racing!"-VR46
BigComfy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:20 PM   #59
Nightster Ridester
Holmes Hot Rods & Cycles
 
Nightster Ridester's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Feedback Rating: (2)
Posts: 3,664

Experience: 10+ years

Bike(s):
1975 Harley Ironhead




Member Garage





Chuck Norris is gettin very angry............
__________________

-Harley Davidson is The Original Gangster
Nightster Ridester is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2008, 03:21 PM   #60
BigComfy
Senior Member
 
BigComfy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: under a rock
Feedback Rating: (3)
Posts: 24,322

Experience: 1-3 months
Trackdays: 10+

Bike(s):
SV1k (sold)
CRB6 Track Bike (sold)
Daytona 1200 (parted)
1st Gen FZ1 (sold)
1st Gen SV650 (sold)

Member Garage


Quote:
Originally Posted by zx-6racer View Post
Chuck Norris is gettin very angry............
straight from the man himself

stfuchuck4qd
__________________
"I haven't seen the crash, but I think Marc needs to be penalized for two or three seasons! Until I stop racing!"-VR46
BigComfy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Advertisement


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:42 AM.


MotoHouston.com is not responsible for the content posted by users.
Privacy Policy