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Old 01-14-2008, 05:38 PM   #1
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GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL "AM I GAY?" SELF-EXAMINATION...

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming . A cat is like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog...
"Killer, come here!
I said get your over here, Killer!"
Now think about how you call a cat...
"Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!"
Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a . A straight man only suks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or . Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and are undeniably a ***.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your . A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that as well as all the names of all the players in the Major League, NFL, NHL, college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are ***gadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow- driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer or play with his honey in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to ***s when they Flame out too.


How'd you do ????????????????????????????????????????????
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:42 PM   #2
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Thats not all true...
I know some bad guys with cats.
And washboard abs are SEXXXXY no matter what!

But yeah, the rest of it is pretty much true
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:44 PM   #3
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:52 PM   #4
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im 27 with washboard abs, and i love cats and i like romantic comedies........but i did sleep with 6 girls last year...........lol...........so am i still gay
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:52 PM   #5
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jk .................lol ,
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:53 PM   #6
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6???????? what, were you in prison???????
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:54 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay View Post
im 27 with washboard abs, and i love cats and i like romantic comedies........but i did sleep with 6 girls last year...........lol...........so am i still gay
yes. you are a flaming ***got.

You even posted a pic of you with your shirt off on a 90% male website.







all in jest. dont turn into an e-thug on me
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:56 PM   #8
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haha....... i was in jail though........lol............. just 6? dam, who are you , Don Juan De Marco..........
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:57 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay View Post
haha....... i was in jail though........lol............. just 6? dam, who are you , Don Juan De Marco..........
6 is usually a monthly quota...


but then again, i have a bike and i,m in high school.
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:06 PM   #10
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i pass.. i hate all that chit.. including coffee.. give me bourbon in the morning anytime...
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:14 PM   #11
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I failed, I can't reach my honey in the pasenger seat cause I got short arms

and I like latte..................
there it's out in the open
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:26 PM   #12
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If you have to go through any kind of 'self-examination' in regards to your sexual orientation...you're gay. If you have to do it annually, you're definitly gay.
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:28 PM   #13
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hahaha................. but yeah............i bet anything there is atleast one gay dude on this forum........
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:48 PM   #14
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Quote:
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hahaha................. but yeah............i bet anything there is atleast one gay dude on this forum........
this one is too easy!!!
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:03 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinchy View Post
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

Oh wait.. there is an out clause, "where he pleases". It doesn't please me to dump in public bathrooms, or in parking lots, so there!

*phew*
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:04 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay View Post
im 27 with washboard abs, and i love cats and i like romantic comedies........but i did sleep with 6 girls last year...........lol...........so am i still gay

Yes, you're trying to overcompensate to hide it.
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:06 PM   #17
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..
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:27 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinchy View Post
1

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the chute. Coffee is to be hard strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.

How'd you do ????????????????????????????????????????????
hahahahahahahha
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:39 PM   #19
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..
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Old 01-14-2008, 08:05 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobody's Girl View Post
Thats not all true...
I know some bad guys with cats.
And washboard abs are SEXXXXY no matter what!

But yeah, the rest of it is pretty much true
THANKS, almost....

I was starting to be a bit worried! I'm proud of my stomach and my cats kick !

As far as knowing more than 4 desserts welllll.... I'm a COOK! What do you want from me. If I didn't know four dessert with over fourteen years in the military and seeing how I now run the galley, you all would be getting ripped off on your tax dollars.






BTW, I wasn't really worried.
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