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Old 01-09-2008, 12:43 PM   #1
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Sexist ATM Instructions


Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new “Drive-thru” cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioral studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use our new machines for the first time.


1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Wind down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Wind up window.

7. Drive off.


1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.

3. Re-start the stalled engine.

4. Wind down the window.

5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

6. Turn the radio down.

7. Attempt to insert card into machine.

8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

9. Insert card.

10. Re-insert card the right way up.

11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

12. Enter PIN.

13. Press “Cancel” and re-enter correct PIN.

14. Enter amount of cash required.

15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.

16. Retrieve cash and receipt.

17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.

19. Re-check make-up.

20. Drive forward 2 meters.

21. Reverse back to cash machine.

22. Retrieve card.

23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

26. Release handbrake.

27. Repeat procedure as you've just remembered you need some more money for the hairdressers !!
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Old 01-09-2008, 12:49 PM   #2
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its true
Originally Posted by OMEGA View Post
man [mckee] does not exist

where is mckee?
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:32 PM   #3
When in doubt, restart!
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10 Speed :(

haha very
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Old 01-11-2008, 05:55 PM   #4
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I am going to kiss your my friend!!!!

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Mucus Membrane!
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Old 01-11-2008, 06:42 PM   #5
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OMFG!!! hahahah that is definitely true. I hate being in the car when the lady drives!! She drives me nutz!!
Koskesh....RIP Brotha.... 4/22/07
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Old 01-11-2008, 06:43 PM   #6
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:04 PM   #7
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Old 01-11-2008, 10:37 PM   #8
Just so you know...
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I hate these stereo-types and work hard daily to change them. (Plus I HATE women drivers)
Deal with it...
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Old 01-11-2008, 10:43 PM   #9
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yea, most women drivers suck. Put the phone, make up, coffee or what ever in the you have in your hand(s) down and drive that thing
If people insist on acting like idiots, I must insist on treating them like idiots.
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Old 01-12-2008, 08:06 PM   #10
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While I would have to agree that most women drivers suck, there's too many people (both men and women) who feel that they can multi task going 70 on the beltway. Put the phone down because you're not that important, drink the coffee when you're at a light, etc.
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