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Old 01-09-2008, 07:53 AM   #1
Grinchy
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The Chemistry lesson: man Ma, Women wo

A Chemical Analysis

ELEMENT:
Women
SYMBOL:
Wo
DISCOVERER:
Adam
ATOMIC MASS:
Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES:
Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no apparent reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in saturation of alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other

ELEMENT :
Man
SYMBOL :
Ma
QUANTITIVE :
Accepted at 7 inches though known to be as small as 4 inches.
DISCOVERER :
Eve (discovered by accident when she had a craving for ribs)
OCCURRENCE :
Often found near dual element Wo, usually in high concentrations surrounding a perfect Wo specimen.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1) surface is often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others.
2) boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense, melts when treated properly.
3) can cause headaches
4) tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo
5) gains considerable mass and loses reactive nature, as specimen ages
6) specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.
7) often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo common ore.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1) all forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
2) may react with several Wo isotopes in a short period under extremly favorable conditions.
3) most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
4) usually willing to react with whatever is available.
5) will be fairly inert and repellant to most other elements when saturated with alcohol.
6) is repelled by most common household appliances and cleansers.
7) is repelled by small children in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.
8) is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.
STORAGE:
1) best results near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.
USES:
1) heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo.
2) can be used in recreational activities.
TESTS:
1) pure specimen will rarely reveal purity
2) reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
CAUTION:
1) may react extremely violently when another Ma interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen.
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:01 AM   #2
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lol not bad
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Old 01-09-2008, 08:18 AM   #3
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Tee hee- I'm a chem major, it's cute.
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Old 01-09-2008, 09:24 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squoddybody View Post
Tee hee- I'm a chem major, you're cute.
Is that your best line ??????
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Old 01-09-2008, 10:37 AM   #5
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:19 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squoddybody View Post
Tee hee- I'm a chem major, it's cute.
I thought I wasn't allowed to love you publicly anymore? :/:
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Old 01-09-2008, 11:23 AM   #7
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Old 01-09-2008, 12:39 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by squoddybody View Post
I thought I wasn't allowed to love you publicly anymore? :/:
Are you pouting, making puppy dog eyes and thrusting out your chest when you're saying that ?????? are you ????

Anyway, how the devil are you ???
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Old 01-09-2008, 01:59 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinchy View Post
Are you pouting, making puppy dog eyes and thrusting out your chest when you're saying that ?????? are you ????

Anyway, how the devil are you ???
I am only a little fabulous today. I have a good friend who is having a rough time and I can't fix it. That really bothers me.

On the other hand, I'm still happy, because I'm getting my window installed today and I won't be freezing at night anymore!

Where were you hiding for so long over the holidays?
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Old 01-09-2008, 07:35 PM   #10
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Quote:
I am only a little fabulous today. I have a good friend who is having a rough time and I can't fix it. That really bothers me.
I’m sorry to hear that….
Good friends don’t expect miracles just someone to share their sh#t with so don’t beat yourself up!!

I spent Xmas and New Year in sunny Houston , we flew out on the 18th Dec and left on 2nd Jan.
Couldn’t believe the weather, it was hitting 70 degrees that first week and we only packed Eskimo suits expecting the worst !!
Spent Boxing day around a friends pool !!!!!!!!! eating T-bones no less ! You Texans live like kings. I felt proper VIP.
Spent too much time shopping for my liking but with Xmas and kids you know how it is and my wife was real fussy about the 4 gang 5m extension lead I promised her. Got a good deal in Home Depot !! I even wrapped it with a bow, I spoil her…….
Got up to see Patrick and Brandon at Motorcycles Unlimited to pick up some bits I’d ordered and that was a saga in itself.
What is up with American GPS Sat Nav’s ?????????
“take the next exit on the right” –I’ve got 4 lanes to cross.
“bing bong, recalculating route” 2 seconds later.
WTF
“prepare to exit left”
“Take the next right” WHAT????????

Busiest holiday I’ve ever had and we didn’t get time to do half the things we would have liked !! Still loved it to pieces.
Might need to pick some brains on schooling !

How was your “happy holiday” besides a bit drafty??
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