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Old 01-05-2008, 10:44 PM   #1
Squoddybody
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Blonde jokes...

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... Box said "2-4
Years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... Power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit
Into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other
Swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!


THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and
again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
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Old 01-05-2008, 10:45 PM   #2
witchdoctor575
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how does a blonde turn on the light after ?



















she opens the car door...
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Old 01-05-2008, 10:46 PM   #3
RinasDaddy
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I like the LAST one YOUVE GOT MAIL haha
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Old 01-05-2008, 10:46 PM   #4
bumblebee
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Ha ha ha

Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?






So they have a place to hook their feet.
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Old 01-06-2008, 08:50 AM   #5
Grinchy
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Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ...?"
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Old 01-06-2008, 08:57 AM   #6
Grinchy
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A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical excercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a gorgeous pair of DD . "Is it because I am special mummy?"

"No dear it's because you are 25."
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Old 01-06-2008, 05:05 PM   #7
fuknrobert
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Quote:
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and
again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
dude, that's my fav blonde joke!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bentgixxer
im not a midget , i was actually born with a type of dwarfism, but i took medication for 12 yrs to reach just 5'6"
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Old 01-06-2008, 11:09 PM   #8
txferrari
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User is banned

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Old 01-06-2008, 11:31 PM   #9
ArturoC
51% Geek, 49% SuperHero
 
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