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Old 12-04-2007, 03:28 AM   #1
Grinchy
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Driving in England !!

In the interests of Anglo American relations Iíve put together a general advice list for driving in the UK. These should be religiously adhered to especially in the London area and will help you integrate into our way of motoring should any of you Texans choose to visit our sunny (!!!!!) Isle.



1. Turn signals will give away your next move.
A confident driver will avoid using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and
the car in front of you, because somebody else will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

4. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedal
violently pulsates helping avoid deep vein thrombosis from your long flight over.
For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to exercise those leg muscles.

5. If you drive a large motor home, please wait until the rush hour before venturing out and be sure to sit at 40mph in the fast lane to reduce your carbon footprint.

6. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and
are not enforceable during rush hour or when late for an appointment.

7. Always brake hard and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

8. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. The UK is the home of
high-speed slalom driving thanks to our County Councils, which leaves potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!

9. It is tradition in England to honk your horn at cars in front of you
that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

10. If in doubt, DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT (exc. motor homes and caravans !) !!

HTH

On a serious note: whilst visiting Houston in the Summer I noticed that although I saw many bikes, never did I see one filtering through stationary traffic !
Is this prohibited in Texas ??
Itís accepted over here although any incident involving a bike filtering normally results in the biker being found at fault !!
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Old 12-04-2007, 06:04 AM   #2
dirtyrice411
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinchy View Post
On a serious note: whilst visiting Houston in the Summer I noticed that although I saw many bikes, never did I see one filtering through stationary traffic !
Is this prohibited in Texas ??
Itís accepted over here although any incident involving a bike filtering normally results in the biker being found at fault !!
I know you can in California but im pretty sure it is illegal here.

btw...
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Old 12-04-2007, 09:22 AM   #3
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It is illegal here and aside from the braking parts most of the rules are followed even more religiously here in Texas.
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Old 12-04-2007, 09:25 AM   #4
Squoddybody
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Haha! Great rules.
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Old 12-04-2007, 02:48 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GLD View Post
It is illegal here and aside from the braking parts most of the rules are followed even more religiously here in Texas.
Thanks for the clarification.

While Iím asking,
What is a squid, and I donít mean the calamari type ??
Iíve seen it used quite a few times on this forum, squid Busa riders, squid stunters !!!

The only squid I know is one of your mates who comes to your party/bbq, gets hammered and then tries to grope your women !!
You know the sort, all eyes and tentacles !!
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Old 12-04-2007, 02:53 PM   #6
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you summed it up well, squids are busa riders and stunters
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Old 12-05-2007, 12:56 AM   #7
Guitar Man
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Go to Scotland every other year to visit family. Took me a long time to get used to driving on the "wrong" side of the road. Overall I am pretty impressed with the way people drive over there and the conditions of the roads.

I resemble some of those comments. Like the use of the blinkers. (LOL) Funny stuff.
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