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Old 10-24-2007, 02:02 PM   #1
R.I.P. Burns
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Dear Wife,
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
for it. These last two weeks have been . Your boss called to tell me
that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you
came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked
your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want or
anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on
me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.


P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginiatogether! Have a great life!
__________________________________________________ ________

Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures
you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem

I got a fever....................and the only more cowbell!
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Old 10-24-2007, 02:04 PM   #2
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Old 10-24-2007, 02:11 PM   #3
50cc chick
I <3 Josh
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OMG bwhahahahahahaha
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women just make it so hard to get... why can't you be like dogs, we walk up, sniff your , if we like it we get it right then and there!!!
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Old 10-24-2007, 02:12 PM   #4
Bevo's royal guard.
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Old 10-24-2007, 02:27 PM   #5
Gunt Puncher
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"I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl. I hope that's not a problem"

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Old 10-24-2007, 02:29 PM   #6
51% Geek, 49% SuperHero
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Old 10-24-2007, 02:33 PM   #7
ahhhhh sexii lmao!!
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