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Old 08-09-2007, 04:26 PM   #1
Brena23
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Jokes

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice
insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping
to try another career where skillful hands would be
beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto
mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was
involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and
learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the
gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed
the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came
back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score
of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, "I
don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding
result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs
adjusting?"

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine
apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You
put the engine back together again perfectly which is also
worth 50% of the mark."
The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50%
because you did all of it through the muffler.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kibitzer View Post
If I hate you because you're a stupid then I just hate you. If I hate you because you're a specific skin color then I'm a racist. It really is that simple.

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Old 08-09-2007, 04:27 PM   #2
Brena23
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ORIGIN OF A MAN WEARING EARRINGS


A man notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."



"So," he says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."



"Don't make a big deal of it, it's only an earring," the co-worker replies peevishly.



His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"



"Ever since my wife found it in my truck
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Quote:
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If I hate you because you're a stupid then I just hate you. If I hate you because you're a specific skin color then I'm a racist. It really is that simple.

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Old 08-09-2007, 04:28 PM   #3
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go ahead and cry so I can use the tears as lubrication to stick it in you
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Old 08-09-2007, 05:38 PM   #4
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I was walking down the street when I was approached by a particularly dirty
and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars
for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I
give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?'
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked. 'No, I
don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all
my time trying to stay alive.'
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. 'I haven't had my hair done
in 20 years!'
"Well,' I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going
to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you
for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks
like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:49 AM   #5
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what kind of food ruins a womans drive?









wedding cake. lol
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:54 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brena23 View Post
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice
insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping
to try another career where skillful hands would be
beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto
mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was
involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and
learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the
gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed
the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came
back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score
of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, "I
don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding
result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs
adjusting?"

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine
apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You
put the engine back together again perfectly which is also
worth 50% of the mark."
The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50%
because you did all of it through the muffler.
I must be a gyno. because I can do that IF the muffler is big enough
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:23 PM   #7
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what do u call winnie the pooh's toes?



putos!
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:25 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeRocket View Post
what kind of food ruins a womans drive?









wedding cake. lol

Booo at the joke!

And Wow you are either really bored or stalking me bumping such an OLDDDDD thread












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Quote:
Originally Posted by kibitzer View Post
If I hate you because you're a stupid then I just hate you. If I hate you because you're a specific skin color then I'm a racist. It really is that simple.

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Old 11-18-2007, 02:48 PM   #9
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Two bats are hanging from the ceiling of a cave talking about who drank the most blood. One bat tells the other, " I caught this dog asleep on a porch tonight I sucked him clean dry" with which the other replies " that is nothing I caugth a sleeping pig and sucked him clean dry." When in comes a third bat with a staggered flight and covered in blood. Both of the bats look at each other in disbelief when one says " this guy must of found a way into that new blood bank look at him, he is so full he can't fly straight and is still dripping blood. When he gets here will ask him where he went." So sure enough here come the other bat strugguling to hang from the ceiling almost falling at one point. When the other two with no waste in time ask " where did you feed, was it an animal, a person, or what?" He struggles to replie "you see that wall over there" the other two say "Yeah!? the one with the jagged rocks" (bat3) " well F***Y** I DIDN'T"
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:10 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brena23 View Post
Booo at the joke!

And Wow you are either really bored or stalking me bumping such an OLDDDDD thread













yeah i'm stalking you
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Old 11-18-2007, 10:51 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HOUSTONDUC View Post
Two bats are hanging from the ceiling of a cave talking about who drank the most blood. One bat tells the other, " I caught this dog asleep on a porch tonight I sucked him clean dry" with which the other replies " that is nothing I caugth a sleeping pig and sucked him clean dry." When in comes a third bat with a staggered flight and covered in blood. Both of the bats look at each other in disbelief when one says " this guy must of found a way into that new blood bank look at him, he is so full he can't fly straight and is still dripping blood. When he gets here will ask him where he went." So sure enough here come the other bat strugguling to hang from the ceiling almost falling at one point. When the other two with no waste in time ask " where did you feed, was it an animal, a person, or what?" He struggles to replie "you see that wall over there" the other two say "Yeah!? the one with the jagged rocks" (bat3) " well F***Y** I DIDN'T"



I laughed at all of them, but some reason this one got me good!
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Old 11-18-2007, 10:57 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caligonetx View Post



I laughed at all of them, but some reason this one got me good!
Thanx my dad told me that one
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:42 PM   #13
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funny stuff. B
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Old 11-19-2007, 10:10 AM   #14
Brena23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeRocket View Post
yeah i'm stalking you


__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by kibitzer View Post
If I hate you because you're a stupid then I just hate you. If I hate you because you're a specific skin color then I'm a racist. It really is that simple.

Satan ButtNuggets Mothernugget
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