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Old 02-17-2016, 09:11 AM   #1
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A post of insight and sadness perhaps?

I was trying to find a new doctor for my shoulder pain I have been experiencing lately and came across this post about a fellow paraplegic. He wrote it back in 2007 I guess. It is a good read. I think anyone riding a motorcycle should read it and be prepared of what could happen. I am sad now...lol

The first is about the story. Some of you may have read this before.
http://advrider.com/index.php?thread...klr650.136505/

The second is the book he wrote before he committed suicide.
http://www.2arms1head.com/
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Old 02-17-2016, 09:18 AM   #2
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Old 02-17-2016, 10:10 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sudo View Post
TL;DR. Perhaps a summary?
Guy is paralyzed suddenly while on an international adventure ride. He initially is very hopefully but quickly descends into deep depression, and writes a short novel, and the last dozen or so pages are him committing suicide and writing about it as he does it.

It was terrible and I am not happy to have read it.
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Old 02-17-2016, 10:36 AM   #4
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Its the risk we take to ride. But you can die at anytime so why die not having enjoyed life to its fullest. I just had dr recommednded to me because of my neck. I will send you his ifo. Supposedly he's good
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Old 02-17-2016, 10:50 AM   #5
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Guy is paralyzed suddenly while on an international adventure ride. He initially is very hopefully but quickly descends into deep depression, and writes a short novel, and the last dozen or so pages are him committing suicide and writing about it as he does it.

It was terrible and I am not happy to have read it.
. No way Im gonna read that. Glad I read comments first
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Old 02-17-2016, 10:51 AM   #6
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. Do way Im gonna read that. Glad I read comments first
Pretty sad indeed.
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Old 02-17-2016, 11:17 AM   #7
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Hey, I warned you, I said he committed suicide in the first post.

I, with a different perspective than most as I am in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident, see the book in a different light. I guess I get what he was trying to say and why it is very hard for others not injured to see.

I see it all the time. I once was just as ignorant as anyone else. I don't blame people the way he seems to in some ways. I have seen his darkness as well, although I am not suicidal. Do I hate life sometimes, sure. I think we all do at some point. Its the highs that need to out shadow the lows. People tell me all the time that I am negative but I am an engineer. I am not trying to be negative most of the time. I am just looking to make things better in some way or form in all that I see, do or encounter. Everything could stand to be better. Is that the definition of negativity? lol What I am getting at here is that mostly, I am happy, I just don't express it well.

Anyways, I thought it was a good read.
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Old 02-17-2016, 11:37 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bdmpastx View Post
Hey, I warned you, I said he committed suicide in the first post.

I, with a different perspective than most as I am in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident, see the book in a different light. I guess I get what he was trying to say and why it is very hard for others not injured to see.

I see it all the time. I once was just as ignorant as anyone else. I don't blame people the way he seems to in some ways. I have seen his darkness as well, although I am not suicidal. Do I hate life sometimes, sure. I think we all do at some point. Its the highs that need to out shadow the lows. People tell me all the time that I am negative but I am an engineer. I am not trying to be negative most of the time. I am just looking to make things better in some way or form in all that I see, do or encounter. Everything could stand to be better. Is that the definition of negativity? lol What I am getting at here is that mostly, I am happy, I just don't express it well.

Anyways, I thought it was a good read.
i'm sorry to hear that. You never know what people are going through in their heads
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Old 02-17-2016, 11:45 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bdmpastx View Post
Hey, I warned you, I said he committed suicide in the first post.

I, with a different perspective than most as I am in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident, see the book in a different light. I guess I get what he was trying to say and why it is very hard for others not injured to see.

I see it all the time. I once was just as ignorant as anyone else. I don't blame people the way he seems to in some ways. I have seen his darkness as well, although I am not suicidal. Do I hate life sometimes, sure. I think we all do at some point. Its the highs that need to out shadow the lows. People tell me all the time that I am negative but I am an engineer. I am not trying to be negative most of the time. I am just looking to make things better in some way or form in all that I see, do or encounter. Everything could stand to be better. Is that the definition of negativity? lol What I am getting at here is that mostly, I am happy, I just don't express it well.

Anyways, I thought it was a good read.
I can appreciate the perspective that he offers, it's just a little much for me to read. At least it was this morning while sitting at my desk at work. Well said about people telling you that you're negative. I'm often told that as well, but like you, I am just constantly looking for a way to improve things.

FWIW, hearing your story in the past has also been valuable perspective and I'm glad that you've shared it with us.
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Old 02-17-2016, 02:50 PM   #10
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I read beginning of that thread, the accident, and the end of his book. Man he goes into great detail with all he is dealing with physically and emotionally. I can't even begin to understand that pain.

My uncle over the last year has been going through some condition where he is slowly becoming paralyzed from the waist down. Went from having a hard time walking to a walker and is now pretty much wheelchair bound. Many visits with all types of doctors and neurologist and they can't seem to find out what's wrong with him. I think he's pretty much at wits end and recognizes there is no hope for him to ever walk again. I'm not sure how he does it but he still manages to smile around the family but you can see the hurt in his eyes. Especially now that he has to rely on others to help him out for the most part.

Seeing my uncle and somewhat reading Clayton's story... Brian you really are an inspiration to soooo many people. Keep it up man.
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Old 02-17-2016, 03:09 PM   #11
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Seeing my uncle and somewhat reading Clayton's story... Brian you really are an inspiration to soooo many people. Keep it up man.
+1
You really don't know how much you impact people's lives in a positive way. We've never met but I have been reading your posts for a long time and I know your story.
I have no idea the struggles you have faced but I know that your strength has helped me to see things in new ways and your story has changed how I approach riding, in good ways.
Maybe some time I'll see you at a meet, if so, I'll buy you a drink.
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Old 02-17-2016, 03:30 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bdmpastx View Post
Hey, I warned you, I said he committed suicide in the first post.

I, with a different perspective than most as I am in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident, see the book in a different light. I guess I get what he was trying to say and why it is very hard for others not injured to see.

I see it all the time. I once was just as ignorant as anyone else. I don't blame people the way he seems to in some ways. I have seen his darkness as well, although I am not suicidal. Do I hate life sometimes, sure. I think we all do at some point. Its the highs that need to out shadow the lows. People tell me all the time that I am negative but I am an engineer. I am not trying to be negative most of the time. I am just looking to make things better in some way or form in all that I see, do or encounter. Everything could stand to be better. Is that the definition of negativity? lol What I am getting at here is that mostly, I am happy, I just don't express it well.

Anyways, I thought it was a good read.

appreciate your posts and I've bookmarked those links for later. Do you by chance have a thread already on here somewhere telling your story? I know gimpin2fold did (or does). Interested to read yours if you're willing to share.
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Old 02-17-2016, 03:31 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bdmpastx View Post
I was trying to find a new doctor for my shoulder pain I have been experiencing lately and came across this post about a fellow paraplegic. He wrote it back in 2007 I guess. It is a good read. I think anyone riding a motorcycle should read it and be prepared of what could happen. I am sad now...lol

The first is about the story. Some of you may have read this before.
http://advrider.com/index.php?thread...klr650.136505/

The second is the book he wrote before he committed suicide.
http://www.2arms1head.com/

Is the second link working for anyone? I'm getting DNS lookup error for the domain.
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Old 02-17-2016, 03:41 PM   #14
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appreciate your posts and I've bookmarked those links for later. Do you by chance have a thread already on here somewhere telling your story? I know gimpin2fold did (or does). Interested to read yours if you're willing to share.
http://bdmpastx.com/
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Old 02-17-2016, 03:59 PM   #15
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+1
You really don't know how much you impact people's lives in a positive way. We've never met but I have been reading your posts for a long time and I know your story.
I have no idea the struggles you have faced but I know that your strength has helped me to see things in new ways and your story has changed how I approach riding, in good ways.
Maybe some time I'll see you at a meet, if so, I'll buy you a drink.
Thanks. I was doing pretty good emotionally but today after reading that story, I was brought back to that place and reflection. It ruined my day. I am still pressing on. It made me feel different emotions from laughing to sadness. This guy was only in year 2 and killed himself. The injury is still new at that point. I look back now and think about how hard the adjustment was. I still struggle daily with things physically and emotionally. Life is a struggle and a hard one at that but it hasn't stopped me.

I wish I would have met this guy and gone to TIRR while he was in Houston. He came in 5 months after I left TIRR myself. I wish I could have reached out to him.

On a similar note, I was contacted a few years ago about my truck I had Ekstensive build. His name was Travis Tollett. He was injured at a ATV. I met him and his dad from Colorado. He recently passed away last month in Wichita Falls, TX during a hand cycle event. He got wet and a strong cold front came in and he died when his body temperature went down too far.

I have also met another through the GTR boards that thanked me for advice on getting an ostomy. See the last part of Chapter 1 from the original link above to know why an ostomy is a godsend!.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HoustonHD View Post
Is the second link working for anyone? I'm getting DNS lookup error for the domain.
It works for me...both on my iphone and my PC.
As for my story,
you can read it here: www.bdmpastx.com
and some more here from 10 years in dealing with life as a paraplegic. it also has the links on it.
http://www.motohouston.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=311341
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Old 02-17-2016, 06:11 PM   #16
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I admire you bdmpastx. Through thick and thin you pushed yourself to get your head right. Everyone deals with their handicaps differently and you are really making a difference by what you say and what you do. It sucks when people take the easy way out. It's not fair to the ones who care and want to help, or the ones who dedicate their lives to those who are restricted in those ways.

Anyone can take a situation and nitpick it to death and find all the negative and dark sides of it, but that never solves anything.

When I read through his book, I felt deep for him and wanted so badly to help, but then he ended it. Reading through all the posts on that forum, there were so many who wanted to be there for him and do things for him. , he even sounded surprised by some of the contributions that were given. All that could have continued if he kept on pushing forward and accepting the help that was being offered.

Like I said before, I wouldn't know the feeling, or know how to relate... but I feel the hurt emotionally and that is strong enough for me to say, if anyone needs help due to a handicap such as yours, that are truly looking for it, I will do whatever I can to contribute/help somehow.

I'm glad you are doing WAY better than you were and I hope we can meet and hang out one day
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Old 02-17-2016, 06:25 PM   #17
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Part of the reason I sold mine. Owning one base commuting to work on i10/45 irresistible. It's not a matter of if, but when. Stone may live their while live before that when comes, but it's not a risk I like to take
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Old 02-17-2016, 06:33 PM   #18
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Part of the reason I sold mine. Owning one base commuting to work on i10/45 irresistible. It's not a matter of if, but when. Stone may live their while live before that when comes, but it's not a risk I like to take
Bicycles are more your speed anyway..
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Old 02-17-2016, 06:38 PM   #19
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Very sad indeed.
I do miss the streets but after I witness what happened to Jim (Wolverine) I just can't make myself do it again. (track only) I did went for a couple or riders after the accident but it's just not the same anymore...
As flipstyledsm22 already said "I admire you"
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Old 02-17-2016, 07:42 PM   #20
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I just read your story and salute your courage to keep going on and keeping your head up like you do. I cannot imaagine what your life is like and respect you putting your story out like that.
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