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Old 10-20-2015, 12:20 PM   #1
NewsBot
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Daily Craig: OK, leave your mask on

I went to my local banks yesterday. I have accounts in 2 not because of excess money, but rather because I can play checking account hokey pokey.

As I ENTERED THE BANCO, I was told to take off my sunglasses and remove my cap. I,of course, said REALLY?

I also knew exactly why I was asked to do that. SECURITY. That made me feel better. Four guys already in the lobby looked way more suspicious than I did. I then went to the grocery store to pick up some VINO and the lady asked when I was born. I said it certainly wasn't Yesterday.

You can triple the age limit and I am home free. Then the cashier, obviously trained for years with the TREASURY DEPT. eyeballed my 20 dollar bill. I know what you are thinking . He must have bought at least 3 bottles with that twenty.

I TOLD THE CLERK IT WAS MLB'S PETER GAMMONS picture on the 20. If she had known who he was it would have been funny. The only store I passed on was a MATTRESS STORE. The 2,000 we have here tells me one thing. We really need a mattress. Mattress Mac is from Coil Springs, TX. It's between SEALY AND POSTURPEDIC.

I have to SAY ONCE AGAIN how lame MNF HAS BECOME. i THINK JON GRUDEN is way over paid. AT halftime, Chris Berman showed off his maroon hair and I figured  he should have been working at my bank, not ESPN. The baseball playoffs continued in Toronto. Those Canadians sure got excited.

Their hockey team stinks, so do the Raptors, and until this season the JAYS were total losers. I like that a foreign country has a good team so maybe the label WORLD SERIES has some sort of validity. Of course, many consider Missouri a foreign country.

Tonight the world tunes in to see if the CUBS can snap out of it. Way too many friends and family have waited forever to have something good happen. THE HAWKS winning the Stanley Cup was the winter highlight, but com'on IT'S THE CUBS.

When last they won the World Series Boston had a team named the DOVES. That is a very long time. I gotta see if Bill "The Whip" Serena will be in the lineup. If not maybe 'Handsome" Ransom Jackson.



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