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Old 06-18-2007, 03:51 PM   #1
Candy
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Why women shouldn't take men shopping against their will

(might be a repost but it's funny)

After Mr. & Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to the store.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring & preferred to get in & get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera & used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least .

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,

Wal-Mart
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Old 06-18-2007, 03:55 PM   #2
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bwaahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Old 06-18-2007, 03:56 PM   #3
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LOL @ #11
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It makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.
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Old 06-18-2007, 03:59 PM   #4
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3, 10, 13 were my favorite!
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Old 06-18-2007, 03:59 PM   #5
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:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6
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Old 06-18-2007, 04:01 PM   #6
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LMAO!!!!
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Old 06-18-2007, 04:03 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1FastGSXR
3, 10, 13 were my favorite!


+1 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6
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Old 06-18-2007, 04:07 PM   #8
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omg its 5th grade all over again
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Old 06-18-2007, 09:00 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1FastGSXR
(might be a repost but it's funny)

After Mr. & Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to the store.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring & preferred to get in & get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera & used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least .

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,

Wal-Mart
Seen this before and it was a list of things to do at Walmart still funny!
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Old 06-18-2007, 09:12 PM   #10
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Old 06-18-2007, 09:19 PM   #11
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OMG HAHAHAHAHA!!!
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women just make it so hard to get... why can't you be like dogs, we walk up, sniff your , if we like it we get it right then and there!!!
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:51 PM   #12
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:54 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no mercy f4i
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
the **** are you douchebag?
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:54 PM   #14
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the **** are you douchebag?
dads
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:56 PM   #15
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no ? im thinking about cleaning the room again...
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:57 PM   #16
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no ? im thinking about cleaning the room again...
**** that ill leave again:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 lets go get food
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Old 06-18-2007, 11:58 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no mercy f4i
**** that ill leave again:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 lets go get food
i am tired of watching anime.. bleach is good and everything.. but ive got ideas for the room. im going to buy a bad couch for it
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Old 06-19-2007, 09:03 AM   #18
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one can only be hypocritcal with regard to ones' OWN statements and opinions, and not those of the others around. great, you can't sweep and you don't own a dictionary. I hope you're better with an iron and starch.
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apparently im a offender in Florida
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Old 06-19-2007, 10:37 AM   #19
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Old 06-19-2007, 10:39 AM   #20
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Im going to print this out and see how many i can get away with!!
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