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Old 05-25-2007, 11:06 PM   #1
Patrick
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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!


What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like ?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have ?
Because they have cotton .

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during ?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale
begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides..
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Houston, TX 77090
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:09 PM   #2
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hahahahahaha
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:11 PM   #3
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not teh funney
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:13 PM   #4
whosthis
ahhhhh sexii lmao!!
 
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hahahahaaaa!!!
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:15 PM   #5
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careful. the "race" police will be watching.
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:15 PM   #6
whosthis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
careful. the "race" police will be watching.
lol...
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:16 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
.
i heard if you do that enough your palms will get hairy
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:18 PM   #8
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old guy's always come up with this stuff.............. :notworthy
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:18 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no mercy f4i
i heard if you do that enough your palms will get hairy

i keep an electric razor handy. i keeps it real.
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:19 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
i keep an electric razor handy. i keeps it real.
haha becarefull for the spray though, when it shoots out it shoots hard, like a ****ing volcano






ok im officially tipsy and bored
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:22 PM   #11
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TMI.
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:53 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
TMI.
Wayyy
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Old 05-26-2007, 12:22 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
careful. the "race" police will be watching.
i say you **** yourself.
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Old 05-26-2007, 12:28 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
BAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA!!!!
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Old 05-26-2007, 02:59 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paniro187
i say you **** yourself.

tell me how you REALLY feel!:laughing6
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Old 05-26-2007, 03:04 PM   #16
paniro187
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
tell me how you REALLY feel!:laughing6
I wanna you up.
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Old 05-26-2007, 03:06 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paniro187
I wanna you up.
if we ever meet, im staying in the BACK of the group...
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Old 05-26-2007, 03:13 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
if we ever meet, im staying in the BACK of the group...
and I'll be bringing up the rear.
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Old 05-26-2007, 03:42 PM   #19
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k, im officially OUT of this thread. i feel.....violated.....
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Old 05-26-2007, 03:48 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azylum
careful. the "race" police will be watching.
fukc the "race" police..

REPOST PO_PO!!! whooop whooooop

http://www.motohouston.com/forums/sh...ight=Pillsbury
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