MotoHouston.com MotoHouston.com
Register Members List Member Map Media Calendar Garage Forum Home Mark Forums Read

Go Back   MotoHouston.com > Off Topic (everything else) > Off Topic
Forgot info?

Welcome to MotoHouston.com! You are currently viewing our forums as a guest which gives you limited access to the community. By joining our free community you will have access to great discounts from our sponsors, the ability to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content, free email, classifieds, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, join our community!

Register Today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.


FREE MH Decals by MAIL!

Advertisement

Reply
Share This Thread: 
Subscribe to this Thread Thread Tools
Old 05-09-2007, 02:52 PM   #1
FastLine
Motorcycle School
 
FastLine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: MSRH GSS TWS (Texas World Speedway)
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 13,881

Experience: 10+ years
Trackdays: 10+

Bike(s):
Instructing
Trackdays
Like
A
Boss






FACELIFT

A woman decided to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spent
$15,000 and felt pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stopped at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before
leaving, she said to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but
how
old do you think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.

A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter
girl
the very same question.

The girl replied, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman stated with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."

Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug
store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some
mints and asked the clerk the
burning question.

The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."

Again she proudly stated, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting
next
to her the same question.

He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I
was
young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds
very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until her curiosity got the
best of her. She finally blurted out, "What the , go ahead."

He slipped both of his hands under her blouse and begun to feel around
very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighted each breast and he

gently pinched each nipple. He pushed her together and rubs them
against each other. After a couple of minutes of this she said, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"

He completed one last squeeze of her , removed his hands, and
said, "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible, how could you
tell?"

The old man asked, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't" she replied.

"I was behind you at McDonalds."
FastLine is offline   Reply With Quote
Similar Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sneakpeek: zx6r facelift Schmidie General Discussion (Moto Related) 6 04-07-2012 11:13 PM
Gave my KTM 300 a facelift... dhdrider Dirtbikes, Mini's, ATV's..... 8 05-23-2011 01:15 PM
Advertisement
Old 05-09-2007, 03:02 PM   #2
CaJuNsOuLjA
Resident Glasnost
 
CaJuNsOuLjA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NW: 249 & Beltway
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 11,106

Experience: 3 years

Bike(s):
*SOLD*...(Pending purchase): 2006 CRF 450






:laughing6
__________________
indifferent0028"They've created a nation of spenders, speculators, and consumers, and they've destroyed the savers, producers, and the investing class that built this country. We're moving from a market-based economy to essentially a planned economy. We're abandoning capitalism and embracing socialism. That's a recipe for disaster." - Peter Schiff
CaJuNsOuLjA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 03:06 PM   #3
datbikrgrl_x
Guest
 
Posts: n/a







Member Garage





Bwah ha ha ha...I like it! :laughing6
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 03:06 PM   #4
Brena23
Mothernugget
 
Brena23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Cypress
Feedback Rating: (3)
Posts: 11,884

Experience: 1-3 months
Trackdays: 1

Bike(s):
2005 CRF450R - tarded
Scooter- 2004 metropoliten
Mini-RM 65
2006 GSXR 1000






:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by kibitzer View Post
If I hate you because you're a stupid then I just hate you. If I hate you because you're a specific skin color then I'm a racist. It really is that simple.

Satan ButtNuggets Mothernugget
Brena23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 03:16 PM   #5
Cherub
FTP
 
Cherub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Feedback Rating: (5)
Posts: 11,832


Bike(s):
06 Raven R6




Member Garage





Send a message via MSN to Cherub Send a message via Yahoo to Cherub
LOL nice
__________________

~Dream as if you live forever. Live as if you die today~ James Dean

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sifu-TZ View Post
It makes me cry, but real tears not the ones out of my like usual.
Cherub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 03:49 PM   #6
aznhero913
J.D.
 
aznhero913's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Austin
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 1,184

Experience: 10+ years
Trackdays: 1

Bike(s):
2009 CBR600rr
2005 R6 (bye baby)
1992 Yamaha Seca (1st one)







very nice
__________________
AZN1
aznhero913 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 04:09 PM   #7
therky42
Senior Member
 
therky42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Feedback Rating: (1)
Posts: 2,636


Bike(s):
2006 VTX 1300C, YZ 250









:laughing6 awsome! :laughing6
__________________
:topsecret
therky42 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 05:24 PM   #8
Yokee
Shorty :(
 
Yokee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: SW
Feedback Rating: (0)
Posts: 1,160

Experience: 8 years

Bike(s):
13' CBR250
05' ZX6R 636 (sold)
Aprilia RS80 (sold)







Send a message via AIM to Yokee Send a message via MSN to Yokee
:laughing6
Nice
__________________
Car drivers want to kill us! What did we do to them? Ride defensively!!
Yokee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 05:26 PM   #9
Mr. Unassailable
1-20-2013-Change we need
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Feedback Rating: (6)
Posts: 19,792

Experience: 10+ years
Trackdays: 10+






Member Garage





hahahahaahhaha
__________________
Retired
tracksig
Mr. Unassailable is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2007, 05:29 PM   #10
hotcknstrips
Bevo's royal guard.
 
hotcknstrips's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Tomball
Feedback Rating: (8)
Posts: 15,696

Experience: 7 years
Trackdays: 7

Bike(s):
09 Buell 1125CR









haha, clever old
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godsuki
I am going to kiss your my friend!!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by NY Weird Lady
Mucus Membrane!
hotcknstrips is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Advertisement


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:10 PM.


MotoHouston.com is not responsible for the content posted by users.
Privacy Policy