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Old 07-02-2007, 05:13 PM   #1161
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Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two
fathers make a bet to see -- in a year's time -- which family has
become more Americanized.

A year later they meet again.

The first man says, "My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at
McDonalds, and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud. How about you?"

The second man replies, "**** you, towelhead!"
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:14 PM   #1162
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Five minute management course





5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT



Lesson 1:



A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is

finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs

downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands

Bob, the next-door neighbor.



Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you

$800 to drop that towel. "



After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her

towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few

seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.



The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back

upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband

asks, "Who was that?"



"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.



"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything

about the $800 he owes me?"



Moral of the story :



If you share critical information pertaining to

credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you

may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:15 PM   #1163
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Birthday Present
A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.

He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" She said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"

He did just that. For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Nobody has seen or heard from him since.
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:16 PM   #1164
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It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a recently immigrated Mexican restaurateur,entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its' history than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little . If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh , we're in BIG trouble now!"

Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."???
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:17 PM   #1165
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Friendship among Women:

A woman doesn't come home at night. The next

day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's

house. The man calls his wife's 10 best friends.

None of them know anything about it.



Friendship among Men:

A man doesn't come home at night. The next

day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house.

The woman calls her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of

them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:39 PM   #1166
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 04RSVR
Friendship among Women:

A woman doesn't come home at night. The next

day she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's

house. The man calls his wife's 10 best friends.

None of them know anything about it.



Friendship among Men:

A man doesn't come home at night. The next

day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house.

The woman calls her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of

them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.
now THATS keepin it real!:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6
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Bringing back the old school.
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Old 07-10-2007, 02:22 PM   #1167
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time to breathe some life back into this !! anyone here bored at work?!?!
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:12 PM   #1168
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bored to death...been working my a$$ off.. now home and bored again..
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What part of "I Don't Care", Don't you Understand?
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:20 PM   #1169
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i'll be home in 45 minutes!!
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:38 PM   #1170
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Cliff notes please?!

I'm bored as , and refuse to answer my voice mail.
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[CENTER]Cut right into me
because I am made of scars
Yes, I am made of scars

This one had it coming - This one found a vein
This one was an accident, but never gave me pain
This one was my fathers and This one you can't see
This one had me scared to death,
[U]But I guess I should be glad I'm not dead[/U]

Yes I am made of scars
That's what I'm made of!![/CENTER]
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:40 PM   #1171
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yeah, I was busy as up until now. I did pick up a new project, but with only an hour left in the day I don't feel like being here. Poison ivy around both of my eyes doesn't help either. I just wanna take a nap.
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:44 PM   #1172
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 04RSVR
Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive the two
fathers make a bet to see -- in a year's time -- which family has
become more Americanized.

A year later they meet again.

The first man says, "My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at
McDonalds, and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud. How about you?"

The second man replies, "**** you, towelhead!"
My vote is for man #2!
__________________
[CENTER]Cut right into me
because I am made of scars
Yes, I am made of scars

This one had it coming - This one found a vein
This one was an accident, but never gave me pain
This one was my fathers and This one you can't see
This one had me scared to death,
[U]But I guess I should be glad I'm not dead[/U]

Yes I am made of scars
That's what I'm made of!![/CENTER]
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:52 PM   #1173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JETG
What did you do to get poison ivy around your eyes, that must suck.

Pics or it didn't happen LOL

J
Oh, it happened alright...I even thought about taking pics, but my eyes looked lik will smith from the movie hitched. Where I keep a couple of trailers and where my buddy stores his tractor, we have an agreement that we keep up with the lot (owned by a family friend) in exchange for keeping the equipment there for free. Nonetheless it had been 8 months since we mowed the lot and he has A LOT of construction sh*t spread out all over. Well, we had to weed-it the acre instead of mowing because it was so high. Somehow it was on the sleeves of my shirt and must have wiped my eyes from the sweat. (actuall, I know I did). Nonetheless, I got poison ivy on my face and a shot in my .:laughing6
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Old 07-10-2007, 03:53 PM   #1174
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keep the shots in the to yourself, getting a little TMI there
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Old 07-12-2007, 12:33 PM   #1175
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Today is FUGGIN crawling along....this sucks! I wanna go home and play some TT or ATV/MX Unleashed or something....sitting at your desk with nothing going on can be pretty boring. I like to surf the internet, but not when the boss knows about it and doesn't care.:BangHead:
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Old 07-12-2007, 12:36 PM   #1176
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same here. this has been a slow day for me as well. doesnt help that they didnt make coffee this morning. :BangHead:
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... i miss it so much! I miss having a numb from riding so long! There's no feeling like it!
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Old 07-12-2007, 12:36 PM   #1177
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dbuckzx7
Today is FUGGIN crawling along....this sucks! I wanna go home and play some TT or ATV/MX Unleashed or something....sitting at your desk with nothing going on can be pretty boring. I like to surf the internet, but not when the boss knows about it and doesn't care.:BangHead:
i feel ya man.
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Old 07-12-2007, 12:37 PM   #1178
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ravenitup
same here. this has been a slow day for me as well. doesnt help that they didnt make coffee this morning. :BangHead:
Can you not make your own coffee.... We even have the little packets which makes it easy for those who don't know how to make coffee:laughing6
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Old 07-12-2007, 12:40 PM   #1179
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we have a coffee shop on our campus across from my building
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Old 07-12-2007, 12:44 PM   #1180
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dbuckzx7
Can you not make your own coffee.... We even have the little packets which makes it easy for those who don't know how to make coffee:laughing6
hahaha... nope they spoiled me so now i expect it...lol. i wish we had the packets too. we have some off brand that isn't all that great anyways. :laughing6
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Quote:
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... i miss it so much! I miss having a numb from riding so long! There's no feeling like it!
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