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Old 04-26-2007, 06:43 PM   #1
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my story

this is a link to gsxr.com at witch i have been a member as well, this is kinda my story for the last few yrs and i thought i would open up to you all, i am doing well now but it was vary hard, any way i just wanted you all to know i have lost in my life and to let you all know that life gets better!

http://www.gsxr.com/showthread.php?t=2331
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Old 04-26-2007, 06:44 PM   #2
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You have to be a member to see it. How about a cut and paste to here?
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Old 04-26-2007, 06:56 PM   #3
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here

here is the story

This Is For My Fallen The One I Loved, My Best Freind, Fello Rider And Loveing Son, Caleb Auston Hubbell. My Son Passed Away On Jan 28,2005 He Was Six. He Had A Liver Transplant At Age 7 Mons And Was Diegnosed With Cd4+t-cell Limphoma In June Of 04 He Was A Strong And Loving Boy With A Younger Brother . THIS IS HIS BIKE HE GOT FROM THE MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION ALONG WITH ALOT OF HOT WHEELS AND A NEW HUMMER. I Miss Him So Much And I Just Wish That Life Was Not So Hard! Caleb Could Not Even Ride A Bike Yet But He Masterd His Little Honda And I Know He Love It As Much As I Loved Him So To All Of Those People Who Have Lost , I Pray For You And Your Family And I Wish The World The Best. If You Are Listining Tell My Sone I Love Him And I Will Bring Some Toys When I Can, AND JOSHUA SAID HI!
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Old 04-26-2007, 06:57 PM   #4
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is long but this is it!


2-28-05
This Is For My Fallen The One I Loved, My Best Freind, Fello Rider And Loveing Son, Caleb Auston Hubbell. My Son Passed Away On Jan 28,2005 He Was Six. He Had A Liver Transplant At Age 7 Mons And Was Diegnosed With Cd4+t-cell Limphoma In June Of 04 He Was A Strong And Loving Boy With A Younger Brother . THIS IS HIS BIKE HE GOT FROM THE MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION ALONG WITH ALOT OF HOT WHEELS AND A NEW HUMMER. I Miss Him So Much And I Just Wish That Life Was Not So Hard! Caleb Could Not Even Ride A Bike Yet But He Masterd His Little Honda And I Know He Love It As Much As I Loved Him So To All Of Those People Who Have Lost , I Pray For You And Your Family And I Wish The World The Best. If You Are Listining Tell My Sone I Love Him And I Will Bring Some Toys When I Can, AND JOSHUA SAID HI!

Hello
I Have Read Some Of The Other Posts About Loosing Loved Ones And I Am Sorry For The Pain That We Have All Gone Threw And I Wish That Things Could Be Better For Everyone.
My Loss Is One I Will Never Forget, Loosing A Son I Could Not Think Of Anything Worse, I Thank You All For The Kind Thoughts.
After Reading Some Of These Storys I Got To Thinking About Some Of Calebs Things. You Know In The Bible How The Time Frame Is Diff? I Am Not For Sure Exactly But You Know How A Yr To Is Like 7 Yrs To Us! Or Something Like That. Any How Caleb Had Passed The Day After His Transplant Date. He Got His Liver On Jan 27 Of 99 And Passed Away On Jan 28 Of 05. It Like Gave Me One Day To Spend With My Son ! I Do Not Know How To Explain It All But I Miss Him More Than Ever. To Day Is Not A Good Day, Its Been One Month To The Day And I Am Afrid It Is Going To Get Harder. It Seams Like I Do Not Know What To Do With My Time. And Think That I Am Ignoring My Other Son Because He Reminds Me Of Things.
Josh Has Changed Too See He Will Not Play With Hotwheels Or Anything Becouse Caleb Is Not Around. He Is Lonly And Most Of The Time He Just Sits In His Room And Play V-games. So We Put Him In Tae-Kwon-Do.
I Feal Like I Am Loosing Caleb Every Day I Can Not Remember His Smell Or How It Felt To Run My Hand Over His Fuzzy Head , I Miss His Smile And How He Use To Laph All I Have Is Pic And They Do Not Do It For Me I Do Not Want To Feal The Way I Feal And I Can Not Do Anything To Stop It. I Do Not Talk To People To Much About This Couse When I Try To Talk I Just Break Down So I Just Bottle It All Up Inside. Some Times It Just Feals Easear Any How I Will Write More Latter!


3-24-05
AGAIN THANK YOU ALL FOR THE KIND WORDS AND YES I KNOW IT HELPS TO TALK BUT THAT IS JUST NOT ME I AM THE TIPE THAT WOULD KINDA ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPEN YOU KNOW. LIKE YOU GET IN TO A FIGHT WITH YOUR GIRL AND THE NEXT DAY THAT IT ITS OVER LIKE NOTHING HAPPEN, BUT REALY I FEAL IT INSIDE . CALEB WAS MY LIFE MY FIRST BOY, AND SECOND CHILD TO LOOSE. I DONT KNOW I JUST FEAL EMPTY INSIDE AND IT COMEING UP ON TWO MONTHS. IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER , WE WENT THREW SOME OF HIS THINGS LAST NIGHT AND I REALY DIDNT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT! SEE I AM KEEPING SOME THINGS , HIS LEATHER JACKET, A TONE OF HIS HOT WHEELS I AM GOING TO PUT IN A DISPLAY IN MY SHOP! AND HIS LITTLE HONDA RACER. SOME OTHER THINGS TOO. IT S GETS EASYER AT TIMES , YOU KNOW YOU STAY SO BUISSY AND YOU JUST KINDA GO ON BUT AS SOON AS I GET HOME I SEE HIM EVERY WHER AND I JUST WANT HIM BACK. I KNOW HE IS IN A BETTER PLACE AND THAT HE HAS NO PAIN NOW BUT IF HE COULD JUST SEND A POST CARD OR MAKE A CALL SOME TIME ! LOL YOU KNOW HOW THESE KIDS GET!
HE WAS GOOD KID AND HE WILL BE MISSED. TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THE BOYS MOTHER IS COMEING DOW FROM NY AND STAYING FOR 2 WEEKS. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS I CAN SEE IT NOW . ANY HOW THANKS FOR LETTING ME CHICKEN PEC IN YOUR EAR FOR A BIT
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Old 04-26-2007, 06:57 PM   #5
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3-28-05We Went To The Cemitary Yesterday For Easter And All That Took Him Some Things, Hot Wheels And All That And It Was Not To Bad I Realy Did Not Want To Stay To Log. That Was The First Time We Have Gone Scence The Service! I Took The Bike I Think He Would Have Like To See Me Ride You Know . Any How I Am Missing Him More And More But Cant Do Any Thing About It So Any How

5-20-05
WELL,
yesterday was bad day! i do not know why but i was just in a mood, angre, upset, pist off. i dont know but i was snapping at everyone, i was yelling at my wife and my kid. we went to get groceraies and we could not figure out what to get so i got off, the price was over 110 so i got pisted off.
then we get home and start unloading and i went to put the meat in the deep freez and i had cups and a tent and all kinds of on the top well that pist me off, all that went flying drings spilled everyplace tent, air mat all went flying. then i started to clean up my shop and well i could not figure out wher to put every thing. i got off. finaly i said **** it i had a smoke and a dp and wached csi and went for a ride. i started to feal better but i was still in a mood . i do not know why i get this way it has not been this bad in a wile. i do not know what to do , i know something is wrong because as long as i have been away from my exwife i have had this strange fealing. Now that i have money and all i can not stop spending it , i buy cun stuf and i bout bouth of my bikes and i do not stop ther. I get the gun or what ever and then i start to buy more for it till i hame happy, new stock , scope, have the barrel parkerizied, everything that i can do you know . same with the bike bout it bought parts had it jetted twice, ex i like to buy things but its like i am buying things to compinsaite for the lack of somethig and i do not know what this has been going on for a wile even befor caleb got cancer and all that! i need to see a doctor but i just do not what to go ! i feel lost or something!?
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6-20-05
ok well its about that time and we are all getting to gether for my sons birth day , june 30 i guess you can call it a family reunion or somthing. the days are getting easer but i still miss him and i am realy astonished at what all caleb has gone threw and that he realy had no ill affects from any of the medication. i truely wish that we never had to deal with any of this but its like you here, it makes you stronger and it defines who you are. any life altering situation will humble most people, i just wish it could have been diff you know, any how caleb would have been 7 this june 30 and i know we would have had some fun so i will remember him each morning and love him the hole day threw from now till the end of my time.
please if you have kids love them and let them be just what they are kids.
the time you spend with them is more important that anyone or anything in the world, for i do wish now that i had spent more time with caleb but you know what now its to late and i beat myself up everyday for not being thier more than i was .


6-29-05
well one more of my friends has passed away today, mandy owens. she had some cosmetic surger done on monday and i guess she had some complications! any how please wemon need to leave well enogh alone. my life just keeps getting better and better


9-2-05
well i have not been on in a while i have been working alot and do not have the net at home! any how thank you all and i still think of caleb every day for some reason or another you know just wishing he was still with us but to no avale he is not , and now my wife is pregnent and i do not know how to feal about that! we have wanted a child that is ours ( i was devorced) but i feal like its takeing away from what i had with caleb and i am some what excited but mostly confueds i realy do not know ! i just miss caleb! bless everyone and and my prayer go out to L.A.

11-11-05
well its me again and things are still the same , i am happy and sad all at the same time i want the new baby but am still missing caleb and i do not know what i should be fealing, my wife wants me to be the best husband you know do this do that stop smoking rub my feet and well i am not at that point i feal like this hole thing is wrong and i just want caleb, i can not bring my self to do the things she wants and honestly i should and if things had been diff i would but they are not and i do not know what i am doing anymore i miss my son! thank you all for the kind words! i am just realy mixed up right now and hope that things getter better. i think it is the fear of have a child as well i am only 28 but so many things can go wrong and i am so scard of that i just do not what to deal with all of this again! thanks for letting be get this out a little at a time! and yes i sold my bike paid off calebs funeral cost, bout a 4 wheeler for hunting and bought some baby stuff so now i am bikeles! but will have one again one day i think by next yr, going back to court as well ex wife has not payed child suport, insurance ex past do some 3600 + dollers going to nale that ! all the bulshit i had to deal with that crazy ! i wish she would move back to new york, i just hate that we all had to go threw all this , and that cheating realy just didnt care at all! sorry any how see you all around!
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Old 04-26-2007, 06:58 PM   #6
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12-3-05
WELL WE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS, ITS GOING TO BE A BOY, AND WE THE THE ALFA 1 TEST ON MY WIFE AND SHE IS NOT A CARYER SO FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND THE BABY SHOULD NOT HAVE ALFA 1 , ANY HOW THINS ARE GOING AND GETTING BETTER AND YES I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT COUNCELING BUT DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY, NOW THE EX WIFE IS TAKEING BE BACK TO COURT TO GET JOSHUA BACK, BUT THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, AFTER I GOT THE BOYS SHE LEFT AND DID NOT PAY CHILD SUPORT FOR OVER AYEAR, THAT 12 COUNTS OF CONTEMPT OF COURT PUSH NO INSURANCE EX BLA BLA BLA , SO I DO NOT SEE IT HAPPENING BUT WE WILL SEE MONDAY, HAVE COURT! ANY HOW SOLD THE BIKE LIKE I SAID AND REALY WANT IT BACK BUT THE MONEY PAYED OFF CALEBS BARIAL COST EX ANY HOW HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMASS AND ALL WILL HIT BACK SOME TIME

12-5-05
WELL COURT WAS TODAY AND WELL MY EX WIFE SPENT LIKE 3500 FOR HER LAWYER AND PAYED UP THE CHILD SUPORT OF 3200 AND HAS TO PAY ME BACK 1000 FOR MY LAWYERS FEES, AND REALY ALL SHE GOT TODAY WAS PHONE CALLS EVERY TUESDAY AND SUNDAY FROM 5-6 , SEE WAS FOUND IN CONTEMP AND GOT 30 DAYS OF JAIL BUT IT WAS PROBATED FOR 6 MONTHS IF SHE ****S UP SHE GOES TO JAIL YOU KNOW! ANY HOW WE HAVE TO DO A HOME STUDY AGAIN THAT WILL COST US 750 BUT IF WE WIN SHE MAY HAVE TO PAY US BACK! ANY HOW THE HOME STUDY IS GOING TO BE DONE BY THE SAME WOMAN THAT DID THE LAST ONE , SHE KNOWS THE HOLE CASE FROM THE BEGING SO THAT IS IN OUR FAVORE ANY HOW FOR A HOLE LOT OF MONEY SHE REALY GOT NOTHING ! BUT I AM HAPPEY, THANKS GUYES!


7-26-06
well its been a long time but things are getting better, i still miss my son but i know that i always will, wer had our new boy conner back in may he is almost three months and he is awsom, any how the ex moved aback to new york and well we still have afew court dates but i think it is almost over and realy she didnt get , just made me spend some money to keep and protect what was already mine (joshua). any way i sold my gixxer but am looking to get another in the next yr or so. got a realy good job now alot better pay, but gotta go for now


8-8-06
Alright thank you everyone , and i would like to get a tat of my son but i do not have the money but i will get ther. the days are getting better and better and the new baby is great, and to those who are trying good luck and injoy. kids are the best but some times its just hard. but willing things alway work out for the best. thanks again for letting me chat.

10-14-06
Well I Know This Is All Basicly For Me Just To Get Of My Chest But Its Nice To See That Some People Do Care, Even If I Do Not Know Who They Are.

All The Court Is Not Done Yet But My Lowyer Told Me That Her Lowyer Is Quiting Her Case, She Moved To New York Wher She Is From And Realy Never Sees Joshua And I Guess That Her Lawyer Can Not Get In Contact With Her So He Quit , We Have A Court Date For That Now To, Any Way She Is Not Paying And No Insurance Ex! So She Has Lost And Doesnt Even Know It!

Well Like The Title Says Time Flys, Conner Is Almost6 Months And Getting Biger And Biger And Realy Vocalizing, I Still Miss Caleb And I Do Not Visit To Much, Realy Do Not Know Why, Josh And I Have Been Doing More, Gun Range, 4 Wheeling Ex. But I Still Do Not Have All The Conections I Felt With Caleb. Now Adays Its Like I Am Not Fealing Loved. It May Be Just Me But Is Seams Like The Wife Just , From The Time I Get Home To The Time I Go To Work.
It May Be Me But I Do Not Know. I Done Want To Get To Personal But I Am Sick Of Being The Agresor, You Know The One That Wants (it!!!!) All The Time, Mybe Its The New Baby Or Something But I Am The Only One That Trys To Show Affecton.

Owell Caleb Would Be 8 Now And He Would Be Able To Hunt With Me, But Not Happening. Got A Good Job Still Have Now Money,live And Love Sucks, Job Sucks But Pays Realy Good, Insurance , 401 All That Bones Check So I Will Put Up With The .

I Realy Wish I Had My Bike Or The Money To Buy One, I Miss It, No One Talking In My Ear, No Radio Nothing Just Me And Going, **** It This Is Long Enogh.

Good Luck In Love And Life.
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Old 04-26-2007, 06:58 PM   #7
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11-6-06
Well i have a court date comeing up and its a complience hearing for my exwife, see instead of going to jail for six months for not haveing insurance and paying child suport they gave her a six month defered probation, and if she is not doing what she is court orderd to then they can send her to jail!
kind of a second chance (****ed up) deal. if it was a man his would be paying double and would be working it off in jail! you know .

any how she just started doing what the court ordered. i just got insurance cards like two days ago and i already got insurance so she can just pay me for it! any how basicly she has not been doing what she should and just like befor she will start about two weeks befor court and the judge will say ok sweety, its not right she has been slacking off for like 5 months and now she will just put on show for the court and as soon as it is over she will quit her job, stop paying , and the insurance she got will be cancled. so how do you get all that threw the head of some old **** up judge, who realy just wants to go to his 2 hour lunch with all the lawyers we are paying big money to and laugh about what is going on and chat about what ****ing golf course they are going to play when they take off early on fridays?

just to add to the , my ex has not even seen her son in like five or six month now! she cals every now and a gain but she lives in new york and well **** her i wish it would all just stop. i am finaly getting to a place in my life wher i have some money and time to injoy things (family, vacation, ex), but i still have to deal with this . and i have two other court dates in december!

i realy wish i was running this country couse we as a people ( like in the real consatution) would be changeing alot of laws. i will not get started on all that i would be hear all day but hey you all start a potition if you like to see about getting me elected next term! lol.


2-1-07
Will Be Updateing Soon, Still Going To Court, Ex Wife Is Still Not Doing Right And The Court Still Dont Give Ashit! What Do I Have To Do To Get Some Justis?


3-7-07
WELL THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE SUPORT AND I THINK IT ALL OVER FOR NOW! MY X CALLED MONDAY AND SAID SHE WILL GIVE UP HERWRIGHTS TO MY SON AND THAT SHE WOULD NOT BE IN COURT THE NEXT DAY AND WELL SHE WASNT SO I GOT FULL CUSTODY AND SHE GOT SUPERVIZED VISITATION AT THE WOMAN CENTER AND SHE HAS TO GIVE ME 30 DAYS WRITEN NOTICE WHEN SHE WANTS TO SEE HIM, SHE GETS NO PHONE CONTACT. AND MY LAWYER STUCK HER WITH ANOTHER 1500 DOLLARS TO PAY MY LAWYERS FEES. AS WELL AS THE CHILD SUPORT GOT RAISED TO 264 AMONTH. NOW SHE IS NOT PAYING ME ANY WAY BUT IT WILL AD UP AND I MIGHT SEE IT SOME DAY BUT ALL THIS WILL MAKE IT HARDER FOR HER TO GET ANYTHING LATER IF SHE TAKES ME BACK TO COURT. ANY WAY I DID ASK MY LAWYER TO DRAW UP PAPER FOR HER TO SIGNE HER RIGHTS AWAY, NO VISITS. BECAUSE THE JUDGE DIDNT WANT TO TERMINATE. BUT IF SHE IS WILLING I WILL TAKE THEM! NOW I AM NOT HAT BAD A GUY IF SHE CAN GET IT TOGETHER I WILL LET HER SEE IM BUT SHE HAS TO GET HER LIFE STRAIT. ANY WAY THAT IS THAT AND I AM HAPPY. LOVE YOU ALL AND I HOPE LIFE TREATS YOU ALL WELL. BEST WISHES .

BUY THE WAY I TALKED TO MOMA AND SHE IS LETTING ME GET A BUSA! SO I WILL BE LOOKING SOON HAVE FUN EVERYONE


3-29-07
Well I Closed On My Busa Yesterday 06 Gsx1300r Payed For, Now I Have To Take Time Off Of This Turbine Shut Down To Go Pic It Up. Got It Cheap, 8999. 9950 Drive Out! I Think That Was Cheep, Any Way Its The Blue And Silver 06 Brand New! 0 Miles,

I Know Its Diff From The The Other Gixxers But Its Ok, I Am Looking More For Some Thing To Cruse On And Not So Much The Twisty Sport Bikes.

Any Way Let Me Know If Any Of You Have A Busa And If You Like It. How It Handles And Such.




told you it was long, any way to get it over we are doing great and we have full custody of my son and are new sone is 1 now and things are getting good, i never forget wher i have been so i can always get back if i need to!
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Old 04-27-2007, 12:33 AM   #8
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jesus, chip. i had no idea.
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Old 04-27-2007, 10:25 AM   #9
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jesus, chip. i had no idea.
its been some time, you know !
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Old 04-27-2007, 10:32 AM   #10
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FLYINDUC has a busa and it is great. It is one of the most comfortable bikes I've ever riden. They are fast though so be careful just a little twist of the throttle goes a long way. Congrats on your bike and I'm sorry for your loss. bless you for your strength.
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Old 06-11-2007, 10:24 PM   #11
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http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/open...e54593d0a&sb=1
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Old 06-12-2007, 03:42 PM   #12
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Bless. That was a story ! I feel for your pain and hit me up if you wanna go riding. I ride my ninja solo pretty much for the same reasons. To get some relief from the pressure cooker called life. Its good to NOT have the phone ringing or someone in your ear ..
+1 on spending time with your kids. They are a precious gift that must be cherished..


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Old 06-12-2007, 04:50 PM   #13
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Bless. That was a story ! I feel for your pain and hit me up if you wanna go riding. I ride my ninja solo pretty much for the same reasons. To get some relief from the pressure cooker called life. Its good to NOT have the phone ringing or someone in your ear ..
+1 on spending time with your kids. They are a precious gift that must be cherished..


Joel
THANKS , ITS BEEN A WILE BUT ITS STILL FEALS THE SAME , MY COUSINS WIFE SEND ME THAT LINK TO THE SMILE BOX SHE DID SO I ADDED IT!

TO DAY IS A GOOD DAY , SO FAR
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:03 PM   #14
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Wow, didn't expect that. Sorry to hear what you and your family had to go through. A loss like that, I don't think you can ever get over it but you just learn to live with it. Your son is up there and shining down on you as a guardian angel.

Congrats on Josh and be careful out there! You got a son to think about.
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Old 06-13-2007, 08:11 AM   #15
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Losing a child is never easy on anyone, no matter what age. My grandfather died, not even a year after my uncle was murdered. And my uncle was 33. Not to sound shallow, but I thought my life got hard. Jesus, I had no idea.

Good luck with everything.
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