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Old 04-28-2005, 03:16 PM   #1
Zapata
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R U A Bike Abuser???

Here's a post that was found (not me) on the Truimph lists online.


R U A Bike Abuser???


How many of these apply to you?

1. I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up

2. I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in a day.

3. I ride rapidly, often 'gulping' roads.

4. I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work

5. I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen

6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ridemotorcycles

7. Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I was riding even while in cars

8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.

9. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.

10. Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.

11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.

12. I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.

13. I have attempted to complete an Iron ride.

14. Most of my friends are heavy motorcycle riders.

15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.

16. I have suffered 'blackouts' or memory loss from a bout of riding.

17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden.

18. I have sometimes wished I did not ride so much.

19. Sometimes I think my riding is out of control.

If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle abuser. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem.

Once a relatively rare disorder, Motorcycle Abuse, or MA, has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher quality motorcycles at a relatively low expense since the end of the Second World War. The number of motorcycle abusers is currently at record levels.

SOCIAL COSTS OF MOTORCYCLE ABUSE

Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from riding in awkward positions or carrying heavy tool bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky bike mechanics in small towns.

Excessive riding during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of Road Racers, Tourists and Posers alike. Known as Fetal Motard Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to a lifetime of vertigo, daydreaming and emotional instability.

HEREDITY

Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of motorcycles. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused motorcycles, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses of an abuser become abusers themselves.

OTHER PREDISPOSING FACTORS

Fathers or mothers who are road race fans, collectors, or heavy leather wearers; parents who do not encourage children to play games, participate in healthy sports, or watch television (other than Speedvision) in the evening.

PREVENTION

Pre-marital screening and counseling, referral to adoption agencies in order to break the chain of abuse. One percenters in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection.
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Old 05-03-2005, 07:26 AM   #2
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Re: R U A Bike Abuser???

i think i may have M A S
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Old 05-03-2005, 09:19 AM   #3
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Re: R U A Bike Abuser???

lmao... good post man...
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Old 05-03-2005, 09:27 AM   #4
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Re: R U A Bike Abuser???

thanks
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:16 PM   #5
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Awesome post.
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Old 10-27-2010, 04:03 PM   #6
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"9. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding"


now im really worried
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Old 10-27-2010, 04:21 PM   #7
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Quote:
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If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be a motorcycle abuser. Affirmative responses to five or more indicates a serious problem.
Only 3 makes me an "Abuser"??
Only 5 indicates a "Serious Problem"????

Oh , I'm screwed...
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Old 10-27-2010, 04:39 PM   #8
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User is banned

.
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Old 10-27-2010, 05:12 PM   #9
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Weren't as many post whores back then?

Quote:
05-03-2005, 09:27 AM
Thread is over 5 yrs old...
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Old 10-27-2010, 06:37 PM   #10
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I suffer...
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Old 10-27-2010, 09:35 PM   #11
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Maybe the NFL can give us a month.
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Old 10-27-2010, 10:00 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulric View Post
Weren't as many post whores back then?

Thread is over 5 yrs old...


Whoa. Who found this?

Anyway - it's cute and funny and I'm glad to have read it.
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Old 10-27-2010, 11:28 PM   #13
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Quote:
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Weren't as many post whores back then?



Thread is over 5 yrs old...

thats awesome, great thread revival

good post, worth the effort
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Old 10-28-2010, 09:56 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squoddybody View Post


Whoa. Who found this?

Anyway - it's cute and funny and I'm glad to have read it.
I found it and figured it did not have nearly enough posts to let it die just yet...
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Old 10-29-2010, 12:48 AM   #15
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yep im effed
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Old 10-29-2010, 09:41 AM   #16
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I'm a serious abuser
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Old 10-29-2010, 10:08 AM   #17
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they tried to make me go to rehab. I said no, no, no.

...yeah...I said it.
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Old 10-29-2010, 02:38 PM   #18
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I feel so dirty now.. Like I need an intervention or something.... geeze thanks.. lmao
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Old 10-29-2010, 02:49 PM   #19
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User is banned

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Old 10-29-2010, 03:05 PM   #20
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Hi Daniel!
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