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Old 02-16-2007, 11:54 AM   #1
FastLine
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Exclamation HISTORY OF POLITICS AND ETHICS

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers.

They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women.
The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.


Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Last edited by FastLine; 02-16-2007 at 11:57 AM.
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Old 02-16-2007, 11:57 AM   #2
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Most social workers,personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat and kiddie sports where scores aren't kept because of the dillusional "everyone is a winner".

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . Liberals crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to them off.
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Old 02-16-2007, 12:14 PM   #3
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The truth hurts sometimes,

ROFL

Good read but someone needs to add engineer into the perspective conservative list.
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Old 02-16-2007, 01:01 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigolo Jason
The truth hurts sometimes,

ROFL

Good read but someone needs to add engineer into the perspective conservative list.
You are an engineer? Who do you work for?
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Old 02-16-2007, 01:03 PM   #5
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Old 02-16-2007, 01:27 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AliceInChains02
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Truth hurts huh? Go smoke some more weed man
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Old 02-16-2007, 01:27 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Godsuki
You are an engineer?
From 8-5 or 6 ish, or when ever anything breaks and I can be reached via cell, yes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Godsuki
Who do you work for?
Myself
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