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|01-24-2007, 11:07 AM||#1|
Lost, But Still Ridding
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: SE, LEAGUE CITY
Experience: 10+ years
85 Honda Rebel
The Battle of and Satan...Funny
Subject: FW: In the beginning
>>> In the beginning, created the Heavens and the
>>> Earth and populated the earth with broccoli,
>>> cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
>>> vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
>>> long and healthy lives.
>>> Then using 's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
>>> Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan
>>> said, "You want chocolate with that?" And man said,
>>> "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,
>>> add some sprinkles."
>> > And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
>> > And created the healthful yogurt that Woman
>>> might keep the figure that man found so fair. And
>>> Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
>>> sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman
>> went from size 6 to size 14.
>> > So said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan
>>> presented Thousand-Island dressing, buttery croutons
>>> and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman
>> > unfastened their belts following the repast.
>> > then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
>>> vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And
>>> Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
>>> chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
>>> platter. And Man gained more weight and his
>> cholesterol went through the roof.
>> > then created a light, fluffy white cake, named
>>> it "Angel Food Cake" and said, "It is good." Satan
>>> then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's
>> > then brought forth running shoes so that His
>>> children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan
>>> gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not
>>> have to toil changing the channels. And Man and
>>> Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue
>> light and gained pounds.
>> > Then brought forth the potato, naturally low in
>>> fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled
>>> off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center
>>> into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained
>> > then gave lean beef so Man might consume fewer
>>> calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan
>>> created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
>>> cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?"
>>> And Man replied, "Yes! And super-size them!" And
>>> Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac
>> > sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
>>> Then Satan created HMOs.
>>> Thought for the day ..... There is more money being
>>> spent on breast implants and today than on
>>> Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there
>>> should be a Large elderly population with perky
>>> and huge erections and absolutely no
>>> Recollection of what to do with them. If you don't
>>> send this to five old friends right away there will
>>> be five fewer people laughing in the world.
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|OMG FUNNY RAP BATTLE||PETE||Off Topic||6||04-14-2008 01:43 PM|
|Father puts his baby in microwave, wife blames Satan, not the Hubby.||Mr. Unassailable||Off Topic||26||05-29-2007 11:37 PM|
|01-24-2007, 11:13 AM||#2|
wheelies are da deble
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: soon to be Afghanistan
Experience: 5 years
06' R1 Raven
BRILLIANT!!! The truth really hurts, man you know how to cut to the bone.
sometimes the voices in my head yell back.
|01-24-2007, 03:20 PM||#3|
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: back n H-Twn
lol...I'm hungry now.
"I get a total charge out of inspiring others to follow their dreams and not to fear change. Embrace it. Realize that money isn't the end-all, be-all. What is important, what really has value, is Time. As motorcyclists, we all face increased risks on the road, and on the track. Do something with your time; don't have a bag full of regrets when the train comes to a stop. "