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Old 01-04-2007, 09:03 AM   #1
BrutusTx
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Man Laws

For some who may be a little unsure........

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may
be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must
bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his
sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's
fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the
temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday
present for another man. In fact, even remembering
your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that
point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the
birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines
pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting
event, you may ask the score of the game in progress,
but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after
you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head
under the covers for the purpose of flatulent
entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink
only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and
it's delivered by a topless model, and only when it's
free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril
are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever.
Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem; you
didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must
be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge
of the game and the ability to drink as much as the
other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively-
dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the
last slice of pizza, but not both; that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd
better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a
friend of yours, except if she's withholding
pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man
while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are
on equal footing; i.e., both urinating, both waiting
in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost
imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman
to go on longer than you are able to have with
her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if
necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly
"just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey , the
fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason
for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is
not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown,
pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you
want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know
what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating
or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

29: We've all heard about people having guts or ,
but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each
is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with
the guys, being assaulted with a broom by your wife,
and having the guts to say, "Are you still cleaning, or
are you flying somewhere?"


"" is coming home smelling of perfume and
beer after a late night out with the guys, lipstick on
your collar, slapping your wife on the , and
having the to say, "You're next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:18 AM   #2
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So is refusing to give it up.

If you keep looking in the pantry and finding out its empty, eventually you go to a restaurant.
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:32 AM   #3
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You forgot:

30) Thou shall ALWAYS put motorcycles and hanging out with boys in front of woman in ANY case.

:laughing6
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:36 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonEric0430
You forgot:

30) Thou shall ALWAYS put motorcycles and hanging out with boys in front of woman in ANY case.

:laughing6
SIR YOU HAVE JUST BEEN FIRED!
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:51 AM   #5
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I told you that I already quit.
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:51 AM   #6
Mrs. ~T~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonEric0430
I told you that I already quit.
ohhh but you CANT quit!
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:56 AM   #7
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Well somehow I managed to QUIT already.
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:57 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonEric0430
You forgot:

30) Thou shall ALWAYS put motorcycles and hanging out with boys in front of woman in ANY case.

:laughing6
That is just an unwritten law............occasional exceptions are ok though, like going to shop for wedding dresses and that kind of stuff
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:58 AM   #9
Mrs. ~T~
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:laughing6
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrutusTx
That is just an unwritten law............occasional exceptions are ok though, like going to shop for wedding dresses and that kind of stuff
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Old 01-04-2007, 09:59 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonEric0430
Well somehow I managed to QUIT already.
fine
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:06 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrutusTx
That is just an unwritten law............occasional exceptions are ok though, like going to shop for wedding dresses and that kind of stuff
You must be referring to Carbon's b/c I have NEVER gone with Loreta shopping for wedding dresses.
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:08 AM   #12
Mrs. ~T~
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we wont go with me for the dresses BUT hes going to other stuff...
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:10 AM   #13
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Time yo put your foot down James and say NO......that is a woman thing so she can go with Loreta. :laughing6
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:12 AM   #14
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^^^ i would not listen to him....
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:13 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarbonR 1/2
^^^ i would not listen to him....
:laughing6
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:20 AM   #16
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I dread those days.....hmmmm How to put it off until 2008?
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:21 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dbuckzx7
I dread those days.....hmmmm How to put it off until 2008?
Oh, you are not far behind James and I.
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:35 AM   #18
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Maybe you guy's can get a group discount?
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:36 AM   #19
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27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you
want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know
what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.


keeping that one on hand.....
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Old 01-04-2007, 10:42 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrutusTx
Maybe you guy's can get a group discount?
I am working on that.
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