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Old 12-05-2011, 07:30 PM   #1
Track_Graphics
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Notorious Biker Gangs Of Central China

DOOD ---
I'm in China right now. Just woke up a little bit ago. This place is wack. Got a million and 2 things to say so lets get started -

1- Half keys on this computer don't work. Limited punctuation and some number keys are out.

2- Road are for moving people. The lines mean nothing. Gernerally people tend to drive on the right but not always. Met some new friends and we went riding around- caging- and all of a sudden - holy - he's on the left side 2 lanes over. Been here 5 days and haven't seen a single accident.
3-People walk werever they want too. The roads are full of peds, but everyone is blowing horns like crazy.

4- Here's the bad news, no gas bikes are allowed in the cities. Only electric scooters ane they don't put their headlights on even at night. Yes-it's true that they ride their entire friggin family on one and they stack cargo up over the drivers head. They're like 2 wheel electric mini trucks. Yes I have pix but I forgot to pack my dang chord so I'll have to see if I can buy one.

12,661 - kinda good news but moot since you can't ride a 'real' bike- the cops do NOT write out traffic tickets of any kind and cops are EVERYWHERE. We were doing over 120kph, roughly 80, IN TOWN and passed them on the left side of the double yellow line.

986,412- The biggest bike allowed ANYWHERE in China is a 125. Well, looks like I'm not moving HERE anytime soon. btw, the weather is almost identcal in the city where I'm staying. Got a 4star room for 66bucks a night.

998,915- CHICKS???? OMFG- I swear to you on my mothers grave, there are NO muffin tops around here.
The girls are fargin totally hot. I would follow that with about 20 exclamation marks but that key don't work. It's very true. I have not seen ONE fat person. And here is another very true statement - Yes, the chicks all wear high heels, tight leggins, kinda cool right now, summer is bare legs, and about half the chicks wear stripper looking boots. All they gotta do is change that one stupid law and allow real bikes.

998,916- I'll tell you what, if you come over here and spend one week you will never complain about Houston cagers again. Transportation is absolutely insane. Even the city busses will pull right up on the of a scooter and BLAST the friggin horn, BUT - with all that crazyness I also haven't seen a drop of road rage.

I'm gonna save the last few for when I get back and load up some pix. Yesterday I climbed the highest peak in the local mountain range and talked with a monk that had a 6 inch knife through his wrist, but TODAY I'm spending the day with a super cute girl. Kinda spent a few hours with her last night. ha ha. WE get to go SHOPPING.... LOL. The malls here make Galleria look like Wal-Mart.

Tsy Chen hommies...
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:42 PM   #2
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Lol. That was funny. Have a good one.
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:50 PM   #3
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sounds like a blast.... I am jealous.
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:51 PM   #4
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It's easy to uncerstand why there's no fat chicks. I've been eating every meal with those stupid chopsticks and you just get so FRUSTRATED you loose your appitite and give the 77EH up. Yesterday some friends bought me breakfast. Fishhead noodle. There's another reason to stay slim. Try eating THAT with those things. I'd do much better with a pair of needle nose pliers. I really don't know why, in todays modern world, they haven't learned the benefit of a FORK.
- I gotta go- The chick from last night just called. She's gonna be here in 30 and wants to have breadfast. Maybe I can have some roasted baby duck or something.
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:54 PM   #5
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Chopsticks = multipurpose utensil
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:20 PM   #6
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that was a good read! have fun and keep your head on a swivel ! strap a gopro to it while your at it.
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:28 PM   #7
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awesome, +1---> I'm jealous
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:41 PM   #8
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Old 12-05-2011, 08:54 PM   #9
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5 star thread

+1 to being a good read, sounds like you are having an awesome time and making memories.

let us know how breadfast went. hearing all the ladies wear heels and leggins makes me want to pack up and move over there. dayummmmnnnn
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:07 PM   #10
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No pics it didn't happen.. Better hurry and buy that cable.. lol...

Enjoy and keep reporting to us less fortunate folks that don't get to enjoy as you do!
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:08 PM   #11
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Hope you enjoy your stay, China is a lot of fun at night..... Most clubs dont close until 5-6am, you can find food everywhere after 2am! Traffic sucks but you will get used to it. Shopping is excellent, that is where most luxury brands (LV, Cartier, Bvlgary, etc) make the most money nowadays so yeah even the Houston Galleria would not compare to the malls in China.

Most liter bikes ride outside the city limits and there is also one of the best race tracks in Shanghai that only charges $80 for a whole day at the track! Post some pics when you get a chance..... Oh yeah about the fat people, imagine what the chinese say when they visit Texas and find out that most people are overweight here lol
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Old 12-05-2011, 10:24 PM   #12
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Quote:
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Chopsticks = multipurpose utensil
+1


knowing how to handle them = l33t skills


Seriously, it's not that hard.
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:10 AM   #13
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Chopsticks>forks !!! + excellent cooking utensils
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:23 AM   #14
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1:20pm CST... no, not central standard you idiot. I'm in CHINA. That would stand for Central CHINA Time.
-
Just wrote a whole farging paragraph and room service just came in a wiped down the keyboard and deleted eveything.

Well here's a weird one - I met a guy last night that runs a school specifically to teach english to Jr. and Sr. high kids. He asked me if I would come and teach his students. HA - I GOT A JOB ]]]]]]. I'm heading there now.
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:23 AM   #15
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Tsy Chen hommies...
took me a while to make out that good-bye
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:23 AM   #16
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Where you at in China? Beijing drivers are extreme and people on bicycles are 10x worse.
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:24 AM   #17
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I do gotta show you some of the ways they dress up their 125's though. Someone really needs to introduce these people to a stretch and a 300... ]]]]]]
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:27 AM   #18
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I'm in Hengyang. They drive anywhere on the road they please. Lines are for . . . . , I have no idea why they waste the paint. Yeah, the driving is incredibally wack but everyone knows that anyone can do anything at anytime so there is a great deal of the PAY THE FKUC ATTENTION factor at work.
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:31 AM   #19
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Quote:
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Where you at in China? Beijing drivers are extreme and people on bicycles are 10x worse.
People from there know it's bad, but the funny thing is when they hear u talk about it, they get offended.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Track_Graphics View Post
I'm in Hengyang. They drive anywhere on the road they please. Lines are for . . . . , I have no idea why they waste the paint. Yeah, the driving is incredibally wack but everyone knows that anyone can do anything at anytime so there is a great deal of the PAY THE FKUC ATTENTION factor at work.
Just be careful and have fun. Did u get transferred there or what?
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Old 12-06-2011, 12:50 AM   #20
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Quote:
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I'm in Hengyang. They drive anywhere on the road they please. Lines are for . . . . , I have no idea why they waste the paint. Yeah, the driving is incredibally wack but everyone knows that anyone can do anything at anytime so there is a great deal of the PAY THE FKUC ATTENTION factor at work.
China, Taiwan, Iran, Mexico City, etc. they all drive the same way, a 4 lane road becomes 6 during rush hour traffic, funny thing is that their accident rate is a lot lower than the US If you ever ride a scooter/bike in Taipei you will soon learn that most riders do not stop at red lights.
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