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Old 11-10-2011, 11:07 AM   #1
mattelliott
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Call me "Mr. Smooth"

Riding around campus yesterday, I decided I wanted to pull over at the campus's Starbucks to grab a pumpkin spice latte (I like my coffee to taste like candy). As I pulled into the parking lot, some bleach blonde pulled through the parking lot aisle (going the wrong direction) and had her head down, texting.

I couldn't even see her eyes, and although my speedo doesn't work, I know that she was pulling through the aisle at >25 mph. Survival kicked in and I pulled left into a yellow "no parking" zone.

Adrenaline pumping from my almost-near-death-but-possibly-not experience, I looked around to the big red truck that the girl was driving and gave her "the look". She didn't even notice that she had almost drove straight into me.

I put the kickstand down, still pumping way too much adrenaline, and didnt check to notice that the kickstand was sitting on top of an enormous pile of gravel. Kickstand "down", I leaned the bike on its left side to dismount...

Clunk. My bullet proof cb450 fell on my left leg. What a drag.

As I pulled my leg out, taking my helmet off, cursing, an extremely attractive young lady jumped out of her car screaming, "Oh my ! Are you okay!?!"

I looked at her and with a crooked smile, in my minute of depression, I said "that's how I usually park it. Hi, I'm Matt, can I buy you coffee?"

I took the key out and walked inside with her, while we were drinking coffee, I took a "bathroom" trip to go pick up my bike and whisper "I'm sorry baby" to her.

Got a date with her tonight...

Call me Mr. Smooth
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:15 AM   #2
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Wow if this is a true story, you sir deserve a medal.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:26 AM   #3
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That is pretty smooth except for the fact that if you drink pumpkin spice lattes then her name is probably Greg.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:26 AM   #4
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well done.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:29 AM   #5
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lol, true story. The girl I'm taking out is actually a different girl then the one that almost killed me (That girl drove away without even raising an eyebrow).

I did see her standing in line at the bookstore... I "accidently" bumped into her, spilling her drink all over her. She was texting then also.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:31 AM   #6
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Make sure you rub out that easy one before you go in case you get lucky.
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:40 AM   #7
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cool story bro!
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Old 11-10-2011, 11:55 AM   #8
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User is banned

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Old 11-10-2011, 11:57 AM   #9
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User is banned

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Old 11-10-2011, 01:06 PM   #10
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Pics of what? The bike or the girl? It might be sorta awkward whipping out a camera and saying "Hey the guys of MH want to see you"

I'll post pics of "the blue bomber" later on
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Old 11-10-2011, 01:08 PM   #11
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lol I think he left the part out where she's like 50 and this story never happened without ..
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Old 11-10-2011, 01:24 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brandontx View Post
That is pretty smooth except for the fact that if you drink pumpkin spice lattes then her name is probably Greg.
You, sir, have one the Funny Motherfucka award of the day.
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Old 11-10-2011, 01:27 PM   #13
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these things happen from time to time
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Old 11-10-2011, 01:27 PM   #14
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That is awesome
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Old 11-10-2011, 01:29 PM   #15
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so Matt, you bought coffee for and are taking out your mother?
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Old 11-10-2011, 01:58 PM   #16
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Hilarious guys!

You forget, us college kids love to think we are important and drink coffee that is far too expensive.

We also write books on our macs and complain about politics.

Besides, my mom only drinks decaf lol
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Old 11-10-2011, 05:34 PM   #17
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Old 11-10-2011, 05:42 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mattelliott View Post
I looked at her and with a crooked smile, in my minute of depression, I said "that's how I usually park it. Hi, I'm Matt, can I buy you coffee?"
i personally think this is awesome! hahahaha! fast thinking!! although, i wouldn't have gone to get the coffee before picking up the bike. lol!
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Old 11-10-2011, 05:49 PM   #19
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Quote:
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That is pretty smooth except for the fact that if you drink pumpkin spice lattes then her name is probably Greg.
This made me spit cheez-it crumbs all over the desk.
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Old 11-10-2011, 06:12 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mattelliott View Post
Riding around campus yesterday, I decided I wanted to pull over at the campus's Starbucks to grab a pumpkin spice latte (I like my coffee to taste like candy). As I pulled into the parking lot, some bleach blonde pulled through the parking lot aisle (going the wrong direction) and had her head down, texting.

I couldn't even see her eyes, and although my speedo doesn't work, I know that she was pulling through the aisle at >25 mph. Survival kicked in and I pulled left into a yellow "no parking" zone.

Adrenaline pumping from my almost-near-death-but-possibly-not experience, I looked around to the big red truck that the girl was driving and gave her "the look". She didn't even notice that she had almost drove straight into me.

I put the kickstand down, still pumping way too much adrenaline, and didnt check to notice that the kickstand was sitting on top of an enormous pile of gravel. Kickstand "down", I leaned the bike on its left side to dismount...

Clunk. My bullet proof cb450 fell on my left leg. What a drag.

As I pulled my leg out, taking my helmet off, cursing, an extremely attractive young lady jumped out of her car screaming, "Oh my ! Are you okay!?!"

I looked at her and with a crooked smile, in my minute of depression, I said "that's how I usually park it. Hi, I'm Matt, can I buy you coffee?"

I took the key out and walked inside with her, while we were drinking coffee, I took a "bathroom" trip to go pick up my bike and whisper "I'm sorry baby" to her.

Got a date with her tonight...

Call me Mr. Smooth
Awesome story, good luck on the date!
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