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Old 09-06-2006, 10:52 AM   #1
Swift E
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Mens Rules

The Guys' Rules*******************
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something, Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
(I am excluded from this one)

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, motorcycles, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


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Old 09-06-2006, 10:53 AM   #2
whosthis
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lmao! i didnt read all of them but i rread enough kool lol
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Old 09-06-2006, 10:53 AM   #3
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:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6 Freakin Awsome!!!!!!
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Old 09-06-2006, 11:15 AM   #4
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ya did you notice all the rules are number 1 lol.. that's funny!!!
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Old 09-06-2006, 11:16 AM   #5
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i read it all....i would agree with all those 110%
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Old 09-06-2006, 02:36 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by S_M_J82
ya did you notice all the rules are number 1 lol.. that's funny!!!
Thats because they are mens rules.
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Old 09-06-2006, 04:51 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Swift E


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
This is the only one I don't agree with! If guys leave the seat up then us girls are bound to at some point fall into the toilet in the middle of the night cause we don't want to turn on the light and bother you while you sleep. If we leave the seat down the worse you will do is get a little pee on the seat!:nod:
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Last edited by Candie; 09-06-2006 at 05:45 PM.
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Old 09-06-2006, 05:24 PM   #8
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User is banned

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Old 09-08-2006, 08:54 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RRChic
This is the only one I don't agree with! If guys leave the seat up then us girls are bound to at some point fall into the toilet in the middle of the night cause we don't want to turn on the light and bother you while you sleep. If we leave the seat down the worse you will do is get a little pee on the seat!:nod:


My wife knows that if it's left down I may just hose it off in the middle of the night, she can operate a tter seat as well as I can.




































P.S. It was part of ---->
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Old 09-08-2006, 09:16 PM   #10
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straight repost! I posted this same thing when I first got on MH and got slammed! I had to edit it to try to save face.
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Old 09-08-2006, 09:33 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MACK954
straight repost! I posted this same thing when I first got on MH and got slammed! I had to edit it to try to save face.
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Old 09-08-2006, 09:34 PM   #12
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Oh you like that funky smell!!!!
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Old 09-08-2006, 09:59 PM   #13
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Man I agree with you 100% right down to the tee. I'm sure everyone of us guys have stories to tell.. :laughing6
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