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Old 08-04-2006, 09:40 AM   #1
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Talking The Fookin Irish Are Fookin Crazy!!

:laughing6 Jacques Chirac, the French President, is sitting in his office when his
telephone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down
the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that
are officially declaring war on ye!"

"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big
your army?"

"Right now, says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself,
Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team
the pub. That makes eight!"

Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my
waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor,"
answers Paddy.

Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to
since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
boyos from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
bases are
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we
spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change

"Well, says Paddy, we had a long chat over a few jars of Guinness, and
decided there is no fooking way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."
"I get a total charge out of inspiring others to follow their dreams and not to fear change. Embrace it. Realize that money isn't the end-all, be-all. What is important, what really has value, is Time. As motorcyclists, we all face increased risks on the road, and on the track. Do something with your time; don't have a bag full of regrets when the train comes to a stop. "
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Old 08-04-2006, 09:47 AM   #2
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Old 08-04-2006, 09:49 AM   #3
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