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Old 07-10-2006, 04:00 PM   #1
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ALL HOUSTONAINS READ THIS!!

ALL HOUSTONAINS READ THIS!!

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Huestun," not "Ewe-stun". Oh yea, it is pronounced "San Phil-ee-pay," not "San Phil-eep" (San Felipe). Enunciate !


2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.


3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610".... which has no beginning and no end.


4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic... a "Scenic Drive."


5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.


6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.


7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian. Fuqua is pronounced (Few-Quay not ****-Qua)


8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.


9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrases, "Oh, we must be in Pasadena!" or ", I hate Baytown!" or "Mmm, smell that Texas City!"


10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.


11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total right-of-way.


12. The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy.


13. The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is NOT ornamental.


14. Never honk at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.


15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.


16. The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.


17. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.


18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to Louisiana.


19. If you hear someone say "shoot the deuce," that person is about to make an exit, not reload.


20. We invented the grill/gold fronts so if you hear Nelly singing about it, turn off your radio.


21. **** You is one word: FUQ. And is two: Hole. We like to use our long Houston drawl.


22. If you live in Katy and I live on the south side of Houston we'll never hang out. TRUE!!


23. The best thing about being drunk between 2-5 am is Whataburger will serve both breakfast and normal menus.


24. You are always able to be pulled over by any police vehicle, even if you were just given a ticket.


25. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just follow the ruts in the grass to the feeder like everyone else.This is how Houston residents notify Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:00 PM   #2
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hahah thought it was funny
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:05 PM   #3
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Funny stuff!
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:11 PM   #4
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hahahahaaaa i love that!
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:14 PM   #5
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All sooo very true
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:16 PM   #6
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Just moved here from Chicago and Putting these rules big time UP on the FRIG. wish we had them before Walter had his lil boo boo....You Rock! Thank You, I so needed to laugh....
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:23 PM   #7
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You must also learn to spell HOUSTONIAN!!! :laughing6


23. The best thing about being drunk between 2-5 am is Whataburger will serve both breakfast and normal menus. Nothing like a breakfast burrito with a bacon cheese Whataburger chaser!

Last edited by tweak89; 07-10-2006 at 04:29 PM.
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Old 07-10-2006, 04:46 PM   #8
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thats great....
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Old 07-10-2006, 05:51 PM   #9
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Old 07-10-2006, 06:43 PM   #10
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thats hilarious, cuz im coming back on the 610 and im passing ****ers in the middle lanes at 90 mph, they are in the left im passing on the right sometimes on the hov lane, and they r shootin the finger at me, fuggin retards
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Old 07-10-2006, 06:47 PM   #11
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Repost but a good one
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Old 07-10-2006, 06:55 PM   #12
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Quote:
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* vigorously taking notes* I can say Kuykendahl and I don't even live there yet!!!
welcome back :icon_bigg
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Old 07-11-2006, 09:13 AM   #13
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Old 07-11-2006, 09:26 AM   #14
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7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian. Fuqua is pronounced (Few-Quay not ****-Qua)

I've been here 5 years........I still don't see the "R" in Kuykendahl?????? wtf???
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Old 07-11-2006, 01:19 PM   #15
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haha same heree...o well
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Old 07-11-2006, 01:27 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrutusTx
7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native Houstonian. Fuqua is pronounced (Few-Quay not ****-Qua)

I've been here 5 years........I still don't see the "R" in Kuykendahl?????? wtf???

:laughing6 :laughing6 In the Houstonian dialect the 'uy' is pronounced as 'er'

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Old 07-11-2006, 01:29 PM   #17
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If you procounce it the way it's spelled, you sound like you belong in a Three Stooges movie.
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Old 07-11-2006, 01:29 PM   #18
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Quote:
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:laughing6 :laughing6 In the Houstonian dialect the 'uy' is pronounced as 'er'

Like learning Portugese Oh well........
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Old 07-12-2006, 12:45 AM   #19
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LOLOOLL:laughing6
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