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Old 06-16-2010, 02:18 PM   #1
brandontx
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Animal rights activists at biker rally

This is freakin' hilarious


Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) - Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.

"Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong." The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer, "motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it.ergo, they should stop."

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

"They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers "farted on their heads."

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation; however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.

"That's preposterous," said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome."

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.
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Old 06-16-2010, 02:24 PM   #2
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Secret Handshake! BWAHAHAHA, this is the funniest thing I have read in a long time, sounds like a great Cheech and Chong plot. ahahahahaha duct taped and on, thats what those tree huggers get, they are lucky they didnt get shanked! Thanks, that made my afternoon!
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Old 06-16-2010, 02:29 PM   #3
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That is awesome, I was thinking I was going to read they got beat, that motorcycle group has humor. Very awesome. Now I want to join. lol

Edit: Brandon you fail

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satir...herprotest.asp

Last edited by cogs69; 06-16-2010 at 02:32 PM.
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Old 06-16-2010, 02:32 PM   #4
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hahaha
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Old 06-16-2010, 02:34 PM   #5
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LMAO

That's great.
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Old 06-16-2010, 02:47 PM   #6
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Old 06-16-2010, 02:53 PM   #7
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...I knew it sounded to good to be true. Still a funny story though. "They said we looked French and starting calling us Le Trine" Bwahaha
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Old 06-16-2010, 03:27 PM   #8
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get it, "Le Trine" aahahahhaha

I think the last time it didn't have a photo
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Old 06-16-2010, 04:43 PM   #9
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i was so hoping that was true.
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Old 06-16-2010, 06:28 PM   #10
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well as its not true, mebbe we should endeavour to make it true, hmmm where are some tree huggers I can on???? and let me tole ya bout duct tape I gots me a whole shitload that needs to be used as restraint material!
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Old 06-16-2010, 06:41 PM   #11
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Repost. I think it last surfaced a few months ago...
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