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Old 01-18-2010, 02:02 PM   #1
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Post Conundrum of what is going to Happen

Okay, so I have decided to ask a conundrum question to my fellow MH people for your opinions:

First, let me start by saying I have been interested in bikes all of my life even rode dirt bikes in my late teens and early twenties. A friend of my had a Katana 750 and decided to teach me how to ride it, now we are talking about some where in the 1993 time framish. Well, I decided one night to ride between Huffman and Crosby down FM 2100, from FM 1960. Lets just say that the rider (myself) white knuckled at around 145 - 155 mph, after having turned around in Crosby at the bank and was headed back to his house, the thought went through my brain, "what if I just let go and pushed the bike away." So I went from 100s to walking the bike back to my buddies house in about 35 seconds or so. Ever since then, I keep to the cages and because of that experience became an avid Jeeper until I wrecked my 04 Rubicon, which I would still love to get back into possibly this month.

Secondly, my wife has been around bikes nearly her whole life and her last boyfriend, prior to marrying me, had an American Iron Custom Chopper. Which she loves the freedom of riding, only thing is that she NO LONGER wants to sit in back and just ride, she wants to drive. So, yours truly being a supporting husband bought her a bike that looking back on was like buying her an indy 500 car to drive to work everyday. But it was a bike I was VERY familiar with having had one the '87 VFR700. So, the bike was WAY too big for her. So we went shopping and she settled for a little Ninja 500R. Which is about the right size for her, and I am planning on having it lowered 2" so she can ride it easier .

Then we went to the MSF safety class, and during the class she feel off the motorcycle and crushed her radius and had two plates 6 pins, etc. put in and she is finally at the point that she is getting ready to start riding again after she gets done with her MSF class, which we already know where she is going to take. However, not wanting to wait, I went ahead and wend to the MSF class and got the M certification on my license, which of course, she said she was okay with but in truth, her off because I was able to do "Her Thing".

So here is my conundrum, anyone else get stuck sitting at home with the kids while their wife rides on the perfect day? How do you deal with that? And yeah probably, this will only be an issue 2 weekends a month, and most of the riding I do is around the neighborhood, because I am still trying to build up the strength in my left hand to hold the clutch in stop and go traffic for hours at a time. To be honest, I am going to let her ride as much as she wants, which at the moment, she is counting every hour I get to ride as a payback hour that she will get back without me saying anything about her going riding. But does anyone else have a similar issue?

I would love at some point for us to end up riding together but currently, with a 15 (almost 16 year old)yo, 14yo, 13yo, 12yo, and a 9yo, I cant see leaving the kids at home and expect it not to be burned down when we get back especially since its girls, and the 12yo is a boy. And I am not sure how I feel, about trying to piggyback any of them onto the motorcycles to go with us.

So I am sitting back waiting for this situation to occur and trying to figure out how I want to handle it, before I either stick my foot in my own mouth or over react about her desire to ride, because, LOOKS like I am riding all week period. which puts things into a double standard with the one person, whom should expect to be equal in all things.

So NOW, if you made it this far, please, post what your thinking.
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Last edited by Fenrous; 01-18-2010 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:35 PM   #2
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I have kids in the same general age (youngest 12), and have no issue with leaving them home while we ride or gome somewhere in the car.

Go enjoy yourself with the wife.
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:39 PM   #3
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Put the 16y.o. in a car with the other kids and a video camera. Instant evidence and you have a full time videographer.
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:40 PM   #4
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just give them a ton of chores, at that age they should be semi-responsible. I would want to be with my wife if she was just learing to ride, safety in numbers. Or when the sixteen year old learns to drive just have them drive in front of you (to avoid her hittin you) and thay way you can keep an eye on all of them and your wife. The best way to strengthen your clutch hand and riding talent is to ride ALOT!
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:42 PM   #5
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:46 PM   #6
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Actually thought about putting the 15yo (her birthday is in March) in my car in front of me, but I drive a Dodge Charger and while so far she has not had any issues, I am not sure if I am ready unleash that upon the world. MY wife learned about the autoshift, turning my poor Charger into a racing machine in about 3 seconds. I don't let her drive it anymore unless I am not going with her.

But these are good suggestions, It would also mean that my daughter probably would get more time behind the wheel then I did when I was first learning to drive.

Anyone got some back street maps of the Cypress Area, so I dont have to let her get onto 290N?
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:46 PM   #7
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Were is the facepalm?
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:47 PM   #8
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i dont have any kids but know plenty of people who do and love to ride solo or together. I say if she likes to ride that much why not join her or make it a family thing (dirts bike, 50s ect...) or have the kids watched one or twice a month and enjoy quality time with your wife out on the rode or track trust me she will love you more for it.
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Old 01-18-2010, 02:55 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrAwkwArD View Post
Wait a second...


You went 145-155 on your bike and it scared you so much that you walked it back to your friends house and you stopped riding because of it? Did I read that correctly?
Yes, I was 20 and stopped riding because of the the thought of just letting go. hard to explain, but it was more like the thought of walking through a door, than Wondering what would happen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrAwkwArD View Post
If so, don't go that fast if it scares you. And if riding in general scares you, stay off a bike. Riding a bike while scared is quite possibly the worst thing you could do...and you will wreck because of it. Learned that from Keith Code.
In truth, I limit my riding to my abilities, which is somewhere about 45 - 50 mph is about as fast as I am currently comfortable riding on the VFR currently. Some black missile coming by you, I can guarantee its not me. It is probably because I am 37 now and have responsibilities, and of course your right. Riding a bike beyond your limits where your scared is a wreck waiting to happen, so I just don't do it. , since I have taken the MSF and gotten the M on my license, I haven't even been on the freeway yet. I have surface streets that take me 11.1 miles between work and home and ride those just fine at speeds between 35 and 45 which I am more than comfortable with. Props on such good advice though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrAwkwArD View Post
As for the kids, if they're well behaved, I see no problem leaving them at home for a few hours. If they act up, ground them
I got relatively good kids, well mannered and behave, until they think someone isn't watching. They all like to pick on the little one. But I think maybe a small PC with an internet camera might work out well since I already have an air card and can rig something up onto my VFR, not to use while riding but while taking a break at stops.

All in all lots of good points here.
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Old 01-18-2010, 03:00 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TomballD View Post
The best way to strengthen your clutch hand and riding talent is to ride ALOT!
That's what I keep telling my wife, the only way is to ride, read books while not riding, and getting into good safety and maintenance habits just like maintaining her car.

Of course, you dont want to hear her suggestions on how to improve my clutch grip.
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Old 01-18-2010, 03:45 PM   #11
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Im not trying to be mean but it sounds to me like you need to put your MAN pants back on lay down the law. You and your wife should both be able to go ride bikes together, you could pick something up for yourself pretty cheap in the Classifieds section, and that way it can be something you both enjoy. Your 15 yr old or 14 yr old should be able to watch the other children, if not there must be some serious discipline issues that are probably of more importance that trying to go ride with your wife. If you are worried about the 9yr old take them with you and have that one ride on your back since it doesnt sound like you will be doing any extremely aggressive riding. If your wife wants to go ride by herself that should be fine but if its something you enjoy, there should not be a problem with you both riding. It also sounds like there may be some other issues going if your wife is counting how many hours you get to ride and planning on being able to go the exact same amount at a later date.


I personally leave my wife at home in the kitchen (where she belongs) when I go for a ride, and on my way out the door I tell her "dinner better be on the table with a hot fresh homeade pie for desert when I get back" Thats what works for me, but that technique may not work in all relationships.......
DISCLAIMER: Sleepy_sleeper is not responsible for any bodily, mental, or material damages that may occur as a result of using his patented "Wife Regulation Techniques"
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Old 01-18-2010, 03:55 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepy_sleeper View Post
Im not trying to be mean but it sounds to me like you need to put your MAN pants back on lay down the law. You and your wife should both be able to go ride bikes together, you could pick something up for yourself pretty cheap in the Classifieds section, and that way it can be something you both enjoy. Your 15 yr old or 14 yr old should be able to watch the other children, if not there must be some serious discipline issues that are probably of more importance that trying to go ride with your wife. If you are worried about the 9yr old take them with you and have that one ride on your back since it doesnt sound like you will be doing any extremely aggressive riding. If your wife wants to go ride by herself that should be fine but if its something you enjoy, there should not be a problem with you both riding. It also sounds like there may be some other issues going if your wife is counting how many hours you get to ride and planning on being able to go the exact same amount at a later date.


I personally leave my wife at home in the kitchen (where she belongs) when I go for a ride, and on my way out the door I tell her "dinner better be on the table with a hot fresh homeade pie for desert when I get back" Thats what works for me, but that technique may not work in all relationships.......
DISCLAIMER: Sleepy_sleeper is not responsible for any bodily, mental, or material damages that may occur as a result of using his patented "Wife Regulation Techniques"
She has her own bike, and I have my own bike so we are a two bike family. And two (2) daughters that are within 5 months of driving vehicles, since they both are taking their driver education classes this summer together. Yes there is an issue with the 9yo, because she is my step daughter, she has a tude with the rest of the kids; and I don't trust that she wont start a fight, since she has been know to throw golf at her Aunt once when we let her watch her while we went to a funeral. Love that step-dad let me tell you. The other two, probably would love to get into the car and film us riding and them in the car with their sisters driving. I might get a someone to watch them or let them go to their friends house for a few hours. Just trying to get some ideas, since pre-planning prevents poor performance.

Just for the record, since my wife injured herself, we got her bike with 8 miles on it and I have been the only one to ride it and it has 58 miles on it right now. :P yeah, that's right, I've ridden it and she hasn't. , maybe i will jut bribe the older two to take them to the outlet mall, follow them up there, then keep on riding towards Hempstead.
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Old 01-18-2010, 04:52 PM   #13
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girl scouts? go ride during meetings?

with that many girls, it would be a good way to kill two birds with one stone. a) get them out of the house, and supervised so you and mrs can ride.
b) get some of those preteen attitudes in check, get them behaving better, and if they can buy into it, it may bring them all closer together as a family, etc etc...

only downside i see is having to spend some time helping the kids get setup, cost of uniforms etc (kids could do chores to earn money for that) and maybe host meetings or whatever now and then, but with that many girls, i think you make out better in the exchange, lol. the kids deserve some time to do their thing, as much as you do to ride anyways.

if the girls arent into it, maybe you can find something else for them all. gymnastics, karate class, etc. if you are lucky maybe there is something for the boy too.
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Old 01-18-2010, 05:08 PM   #14
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Old 01-18-2010, 06:20 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepy_sleeper View Post
Im not trying to be mean but it sounds to me like you need to put your MAN pants back on lay down the law. You and your wife should both be able to go ride bikes together, you could pick something up for yourself pretty cheap in the Classifieds section, and that way it can be something you both enjoy. Your 15 yr old or 14 yr old should be able to watch the other children, if not there must be some serious discipline issues that are probably of more importance that trying to go ride with your wife. If you are worried about the 9yr old take them with you and have that one ride on your back since it doesnt sound like you will be doing any extremely aggressive riding. If your wife wants to go ride by herself that should be fine but if its something you enjoy, there should not be a problem with you both riding. It also sounds like there may be some other issues going if your wife is counting how many hours you get to ride and planning on being able to go the exact same amount at a later date.


I personally leave my wife at home in the kitchen (where she belongs) when I go for a ride, and on my way out the door I tell her "dinner better be on the table with a hot fresh homeade pie for desert when I get back" Thats what works for me, but that technique may not work in all relationships.......
DISCLAIMER: Sleepy_sleeper is not responsible for any bodily, mental, or material damages that may occur as a result of using his patented "Wife Regulation Techniques"
Man-she makes a good pie!!!!!
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Old 01-18-2010, 06:23 PM   #16
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I personally don't have that problem, wife don't ride, kids are gone. On a different note, you need to get your man bits back from your wife and start playing the part.....
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Old 01-18-2010, 06:34 PM   #17
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Personal opinion coming..........

At that age, the older kids should be responsible enough to take care of things for a few hours every couple of weekends, especially if you pay them like a babysitter.

Or

Take out your man card and tell your wife you're going for a ride and to have a sammich ready for you when you get back.

PS
If you're really going to put her back in my class, please don't tell her I said that. She scares me just a little.
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Old 01-18-2010, 07:01 PM   #18
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My only problem is the responses towards the OP(no disrespect to responses.) If you're only comfortable going 55mph for now, go 55. I'd rather you ride within your comfort range then attempt to ride w us during a forest ride and become another of the 60 plus people that fail their ego.

I could understand the kids prob especially when there are older girls. Start w smaller trips or outings even if its just to the corner store and make sure to change it around to saying "we're going out to dinner and a movie" then come back 30 minutes later just to throw them off

If you have heart and want to include the riding experience w your wife, then jump on it. That's freaking awesome! Wish I myex would have gotten off the dirt and at least tried riding a little more then parkinglots and back seat.

GL w your venture And if YOU need a riding bud shoot a PM and I'll send my number. I dont teach anybody anything about riding; Im not an instructor. But I will ride WITH you and not make you feel like you need to keep up. Plus I may have some pointers...
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:41 PM   #19
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both of you need to agree that if you both want to ride, and you don't want to leave the kids, then you both deserve time to go ride separately, with both taking care of the homestead, unless you know you leave the kids for a little while. If you're two oldest aren't responsible enough to manage the others, there might need to be a bit of training in that regard, because they should be capable (unless there is some limiting factor we don't know about).

My wife rode off-road before, but refuses to consider riding until the kids are more grown up - (13, 11, 9) because she thinks how it would be if we BOTH died on the road at the same time... sheesh!...

But at least I don't abandon her without regard to what's going on on the weekend. , I'd ride every weekend if I could..!

BALANCE - demand it, negotiate it, whatever it takes; she needs to not think she owns all rights to riding - that's not fair, and no way to stay married.
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Old 01-18-2010, 09:57 PM   #20
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My wife and I both ride. It has really made us a stronger couple riding together. She did get a little upset when I went out after she had surgery but it was just the fact that she wanted to ride. Ride at your pace and try to trust your kids if possible. I am not in your situation but I personally love riding with my wife and 9 times out of 10 if you see me she will be on a bike beside me.
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