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Old 04-15-2006, 08:20 AM   #1
Patrick
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MILITARY TRUISMS Funny!

MILITARY TRUISMS

"A malfunctioning part could let your M203 grenade launcher fire
when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.


"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher


"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
- U.S. Marine Corps


"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
- USAF Ammo Troop


"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal


"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
- U.S. Air Force Manual


"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General MacArthur


"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
- Infantry Journal


"Tracers work both ways."
- U.S. Army Ordnance


"Five second fuses only last three seconds."
- Infantry Journal


"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."
- U.S. Navy Swabbie


"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
- Infantry Journal


"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."
- Anonymous


"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
- Unknown Marine Recruit


"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
- Infantry Journal


"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
- USAF Ammo Troop


"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death .. I Shall Fear No Evil.
For I am 80,000 feet and climbing."
- At the entrance to the old SR-71 Operating base, Kadena, Japan


"You've never been really lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)


"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)


"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky."
- From an old carrier sailor


For out Air force friends:

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."


"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash."


"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying
club."


"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."


Airspeed, altitude and brains.
Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."


"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in
a row is prevarication."


"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"


"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries."


"In an emergency, flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."


"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."


Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible."


"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)


"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."
- Bob Hoover (Renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."


"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power with afterburners to taxi to the terminal."




Patrick
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Old 04-15-2006, 08:27 AM   #2
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:laughing6 :laughing6 Thats good stuff , Patrick.
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Old 04-15-2006, 08:44 AM   #3
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Quote:
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."
- Infantry Journal
Good to know.
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Old 04-15-2006, 09:07 AM   #4
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Originally posted by DaDougster at the second link:

USMC Rules for Gunfighting

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading.
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
15. And above all ... don't drop your guard.

And just to be obnoxious:

Navy SEALS Rules For Gun fighting

1. Look very cool in the latest sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking very cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules For Gun fighting

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound ruck while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound ruck while starving.

Army Rules For Gun fighting

1. Select a new beret to wear
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear

US Air Force Rules For Gun fighting

1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner
3. See what's on HBO
4. Determine "what is a gunfight"
5. Send the Marines

Navy Rules For Gunfighting

1. Go to Sea
2. Drink Coffee
3. Send the Marines

http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html
http://www.imao.us/archives/cat_our_military.html

IYAAYAS!
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Old 04-15-2006, 09:18 AM   #5
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Quote:
US Army Rangers Rules For Gun fighting

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound ruck while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound ruck while starving.
Been there, done that, although more often than not we get the greenlight!


Patrick
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Old 04-15-2006, 09:34 AM   #6
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Quote:
US Air Force Rules For Gun fighting

1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner
3. See what's on HBO
4. Determine "what is a gunfight"
5. Send the Marines
If an Airman is required to be in a gun fight the base is about to be over run.
Ping Pong, Darts, and Foosball are considered Physical Conditioning.
First question asked before any deployment will be if it's air conditioned followed by the second question of cable availability then the third about a pool.
Bare Base means that the details like cleaning aren't contracted out and not everyone has their own room with a fridge and microwave.
We are soon to be wearing blue "Digital" cammies so we aren't confused with the other services when the SHTF, and so we can attract fire by targets of opportunity. (has nothing to do with Generals who want to make us look pretty)
If MRE's are consumed it's because the airman is to lazy to walk to the chow hall.
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Old 04-15-2006, 11:05 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sc0
If an Airman is required to be in a gun fight the base is about to be over run.
Ping Pong, Darts, and Foosball are considered Physical Conditioning.
First question asked before any deployment will be if it's air conditioned followed by the second question of cable availability then the third about a pool.
Bare Base means that the details like cleaning aren't contracted out and not everyone has their own room with a fridge and microwave.
We are soon to be wearing blue "Digital" cammies so we aren't confused with the other services when the SHTF, and so we can attract fire by targets of opportunity. (has nothing to do with Generals who want to make us look pretty)
If MRE's are consumed it's because the airman is to lazy to walk to the chow hall.
This is so ****in true:laughing6 :laughing6 :laughing6
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Old 04-15-2006, 12:36 PM   #8
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lol awsome thread!
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Old 04-15-2006, 07:52 PM   #9
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too funny lol
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Old 04-16-2006, 12:07 PM   #10
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If it's not drawn with stick figures a Grunt doesn't know how to use it.
If it can't be used to kill, a Jarhead has no use for it.
If it is used to kill, an Airman might inflict harm/death on self or others unintentionally.
The Marines are the first to go in because they know how to aim.
A base in a hostile environment for an Airman is considered a R&R base for a Grunt.





(Sorry, don't have much interaction with Navy or CG types but have seemed to notice that Navy people are perverts with a sense of humor borderlining the gay side, all good folks though.)
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