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Old 10-28-2009, 06:28 PM   #1
Squidly
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Harley Pre-ride checklist

Harley rider pre-ride check off list:
1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the ?Live to ride?ride to live? statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the ?I?m a bad mother****er? harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some ?chapter? like: North chapter of pig ****ing obese attention douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of down the road.
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Old 10-28-2009, 06:47 PM   #2
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glad I ride both harley and sport...+1 to t breaking on harleys I keep blowing head gaskets

Last edited by SloK8; 10-28-2009 at 06:51 PM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 07:15 PM   #3
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Old 10-28-2009, 07:31 PM   #4
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SportBike Checklist-
Shorts
FlipFlops
SunGlasses
Wife Beater
Helmet Strapped to Back Seat
Ruff Ryder Vest lol
Starbucks Gift Card (Cause thats ya'll not Us!!!)
Stickers
And I forgot the all important......
Beat to Sh*t Gixxer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-28-2009, 07:40 PM   #5
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Last edited by houstonch73; 10-28-2009 at 07:43 PM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 07:43 PM   #6
BigComfy
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Prada shades are pretty gay
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Old 10-28-2009, 07:54 PM   #7
Nightster Ridester
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lol DVLRACER!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-28-2009, 08:12 PM   #8
Squidly
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Nice Houstonch73 lol
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Old 10-28-2009, 08:37 PM   #9
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Gawd, ya'll crack me up!!!
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currently... 1999 HD FXDX
past bikes..
'01 GSXR1000
'76 Laverda3CL....
PGR rider, and proud of it!
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Old 10-28-2009, 08:44 PM   #10
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WTB: Adv Moto!







Awesome lists.
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Old 10-28-2009, 09:43 PM   #11
SW@T
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Bwahahahaha


Now that's awesome
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Old 10-28-2009, 09:57 PM   #12
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priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-28-2009, 10:13 PM   #13
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Just so you know...
 
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You forgot Cargo Shorts!!! (Gotta have somewhere to stow that empty wallet!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by houstonch73 View Post
Here's my spin on it. It was actually kind of fun.




PP1 sportbike rider pre-ride check off list:
1. get new $30 haircut from Tony & Guy at the mall. tip another $20, hit jamba juice and LIDS on the way out.
2. get new stickers from mailbox. placard your bike with 4 different brands of tire (none of which you use), 3 different types of oil & 5 different brands of safety equipment. make note that you need to pay your insurance that's been canceled for almost 6 months
3. remove racing cowl and install passenger pillion for slimmy (aka fat curbmonkey) you will pick up later.
4. Pack cell phone and have EMT and tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look for your mirror that broke off when you dropped your bike last week. fukk it....don't need it.
6. determine why your ghey led's are only working on 1/2 the bike. fukk it. youre still cool.
7. $500 helmet. strap it to the side of the bike. cant mess up gel'd hair
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving (cant believe this is listed as a HD thing.)
9. step into you leather bag. tell everyone is "kangaroo" when its really nauga from Thailand.
10. Gloves. inner gloves, armored outer gloves. ATGATT!!!!
11. Prada sunglasses. wtf kind of pheg wears Prada??? oh yeah....you
(http://www.motohouston.com/forums/sh...d.php?t=116262)
12. new Yankees cap b/c you're thug & different from the other playas. make sure sticker and tag are still on. if not, toss and buy another.
13. flip flops b/c you're way cool
14. armored bulletproof ICON vest thats not bulletproof.
15. ED Hardy/affliction/tapout t-shirt. Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $75 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. fill up gas tank with racing fuel, don't forget octane booster, after all you'll be getting into second gear at some point tonight and you'll be redlining the whole way b/c that's "how you roll...."
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (gixxa balla, boosa or nijah name) and pathetic store bought image (star wars stormtrooper mixed with Zohan) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the Starbucks and before you head to brickhouse tavern only to go home alone and again.
19. Five packs of Kool Menthols to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of red bulls (no sugar b/c you gotta watch those carbs!!) prior to ride.
21. zip ties to hold your fairings together until you get home b/c you was dragging knee into the PP1 parking lot and laid it down.


and just for MH.......


22. write down VIN number on piece of paper to give to police when your bike gets stolen as you're sippin on coffee/beer at OTR.











thankyou......thankyou.....I'll be here all night. try the fish.......
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Old 10-28-2009, 10:32 PM   #14
ChrisGo
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This thread is all WIN
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Old 10-28-2009, 10:51 PM   #15
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braaaaiiiiinssss
 
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my fairings are actually held together with zip ties in a few places
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Old 10-28-2009, 10:57 PM   #16
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Tony and Guy haircuts are 60!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gixxer-Joy View Post
Iím really happy for you and Iím going to let you finish but AJFlo is one of the baddest mother fockers of all time!!!
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:01 PM   #17
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:02 PM   #18
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^^^ Actually get more expensive

I know this because Im Super Poser!!! You can find me at PP1 anytime playa!
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Quote:
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Iím really happy for you and Iím going to let you finish but AJFlo is one of the baddest mother fockers of all time!!!
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Old 10-29-2009, 03:33 AM   #19
1sickGixxer
if ur not 1st, ur last!!!
 
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Holy shizz the HD list would fit my friends to a T. Ima print it out and give it to them bad thing is only half will realize its a joke the other half will be like "holy this is a lifesaver"
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Old 10-29-2009, 04:09 AM   #20
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if ur not 1st, ur last!!!
 
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Id print out that ricer list and give it to them, but none of my sportbike friends can read. J/P awsome thread.
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